Tag Archives: Suicide

I begged God to die

I got your attention with that title right? Lols. Nothing serious. Just remembered the story of Jonah earlier today and how he asked God to kill him.

Now,  Lord , take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live. (Jonah 4:3)

I was at that point in life late last year. I literally begged God to take my life. Moved from begging when He didn’t to praying for rapture to come like yesterday. *le sigh*. I am alright people. It was just a phase.

Remembered that today and how often we get judgmental or because we don’t know how someone feels about something bad that happened, how easily we make comments that could hurt the person (not like we intended to). I am one of those who anytime Jonah’s story came up or I read it, I scoffed and raised my nose. I asked if he was God and why he should be angry God didn’t destroy a city. I wondered and said he should have killed himself na. Abi? If God no kee you, kee yourself.

I recently stumbled on some posts on suicides, depression and all and remembered my reaction to a couple of suicides last year (relationship related suicides). Forgive me, I asked what they were thinking. Couldn’t they have considered the family they left behind? Why kill yourself because of a man/woman? And all and all. This morning I was reminded I was no different. No difference between me who asked God to kill me and the one who decided to do the killing herself/himself. And as I thought about all that all I could sing was

Imela, Imela, Okaka, Onyekeruwa
Imela, Imela, Ezemo.

I remembered how easy it is/was to judge others. A friend had her wedding cancelled recently (groom to be called it off a month to the wedding) and another friend actually said “I hope she moves on fast” and all sorts and I just sat there thinking “na so e easy?” Just pray and thank God you aint in her shoes. For once I understood how she felt, because I have been in her shoes. I have had a lot of people to tell me things in the last 3 months and am just there thinking “it is so easy for you to talk”. Then I also thought, what if these people who killed themselves had similar conversations and had people tell them the usual.  And they just couldn’t get past that phase? There are days people tell me things and I just cut them off or tell them point blank, don’t tell me that, you don’t know how I feel. So easy for you to say. Now I know what it is like. I hope never to “judge” people that way any longer. Offer your support and gauge the person’s mood before you start talking. Same thing with when someone loses a loved one. I usually don’t call or say anything. I just go see the person and hug or just sit with the person. Not because I can’t say the usual, it is well and all but cause I won’t. At least not when it is still fresh. A lot of people are struggling. In the spirit of the season (no be love season we dey?), show some love.

Moving on to interesting and happy things. It is Valentine’s day right. Happy for all of una. Never been a freak (see reasons here). However, I am happy a lot of people are happy. Good thing about having all sisters is somehow, something always enters the house. I see cake in the house already. Should I say my boss “val-ed” me? She gave me shoes this morning. Did I write it on my forehead that I am a shoe lover? First gave me a whole gift bag of jewellery over the weekend. Now shoes? What should I expect next? Na female no worry.

So I hear there is mahd traffic on the Island. Am I surprised? No. Na usual Vals day traffic. One of the reasons I hate detest Vals day. Thank God I aint on the Island this year. Plus must it rain every Vals day? I don’t know about last year but in the last few years, it has rained every Vals day. *smh*

From helping a friend get Vals gifts to planning a bridal shower, I have had an extra busy week. Work in itself is usually hectic. I now added more work to it. It was fun sha. Btw, where can I get red fascinator in Lagos? Already planning my outfit for L’s wedding (which is a month away). I am that kind of an organiser. I tend to plan a lot of things way in advance. No aso -ebi (girl after my heart) but touch of red. Now I am planning nude gown, shoes and bag. I NEED A RED FASCINATOR. Don’t make me wear a red gown please. Red is strictly for accessories- nail polish, lip stick (oh la la) and all those tinz.

I am beginning to plan a wedding in my head (plus my speech). Introduced two friends recently and the guy buzzes me to tell me they are doing dinner tonight and was seriously praying she doesn’t relocate (her family is out of the country). I was just awwwing. I am just that much of a sucker for love. I am gonna restrain myself from buzzing the babe later tonight to ask how it went. Abi should I buzz? Yes/No… The urge to buzz is strong yo. I am seriously praying it goes well BECAUSE I am writing my “how they met” story already. Yes ke, na me introduce them.

In other news, I met SNM on Sunday. Naughty child he is. Offered me only water. iKid. Offered me drinks and food, I opted for water. Twas nice seeing you. Second blogger I get to meet. Where are the others o?

Happy Valentine’s day dear readers. Hope ya all had fun or are having fun today. If you val-ed someone or got val-ed, please remember some of us get sweet tooth. Send our cake, chocolate and all o. For #teamforeveralones, well sowie. Next year ehn.

Oh and my boss brings cake….. This woman knows how to put a smile on my face….

Happy belated birthday to Just Joxy. I am so sorry I missed the date. And happy birthday to my god-mum and my cousin IfeOluwa.
Tada

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Lovers death, suicide and racist rants

Day in day out, week in week out, the news keeps getting worse. From people bathing others with acid or stabbing them to people committing suicide. For a very long time, these acts were “Western” in nature. It just can’t happen in Nigeria. Or so we thought. Now, a week doesn’t go without such news making it to the tabloids or gossip sites in Nigeria.

The stories vary. A guy asks a girl out, she refuses, next thing, she is either dead or struggling for life thanks to the man. Couples or live-in lovers have a fight and one of them ends up dead. It has become so rampant, a friend of mine recently commented “this love thing, na wa o. Shey we won’t just not get married like this”. Another, “so now we must say yes to every guy that asks us out to avoid acid bath?” Like these friends, these news definitely scares the hell out of me. Left, right and center, you just don’t know what to expect or what news you would hear next. Funny thing is it isn’t even just lovers that get the acid bath or get stabbed. A nurse recently had acid poured on her by one of her HIV patients. Are we safe any longer? Yes the world is coming to an end but this def is scary. Do we decide not to marry or avoid guys or girls at all cost? Or like my friend said say yes to every guy (like that is even possible); cause you don’t even know the mental state of the person next to you. What is going on in his/her head? Whether they would snap the next minute.

Suicide. Another prevalent story in the news. Not so far away from us any more. Not so Western any longer. From youths to well-made, rich adults. Two recent issues; Gary Speed (who was full of life the day before and even appeared on a show) and the Nigerian man who committed suicide a couple of weeks back. He actually wrote 3 letters, to his family, landlord and Pastor. Sends his wife to go deliver the Pastor’s letter and before she gets back, he is dead. It is very easy to condemn them. Don’t they think of others? Couldn’t they seek help? We can ask a lot of questions but it still doesn’t stop it happening. We can blame it on some witches from their villages but in all honesty, how many times do we actually talk to people about how we feel? How many times do we listen to people talk about themselves? How many times do we care to find out what that person is going through? Yes, suicide is sin. And we can preach they would go to hell from now till eternity (that’s what my Bible tells me) but it doesn’t and won’t stop people from killing themselves. A friend had this up as his facebook status a couple of days back “Suicide is only a long-term solution to a short-term problem”. I don’t believe there is a problem that has no solution. Just share it with people you trust. We have heard stories of people tweeting they were suicidal and they got help. Think Demi Moore was involved in one a while back. Help in every little way you can. I wonder and I actually need suggestions on how to reach out to such suicidal people. Some days back Pastor Adeboye recounted a story in Open Heavens about a lady who comes to see him. Before she enters, he was instructed to hug her and he was going to refuse because not only had he warned Pastors now to do it, it wasn’t right. But he did. She then breaks down in tears and tells him she was going to commit suicide but decided to see him for the last time before she did. I don’t have a solution to this suicide, depression and frustration wahala but in our own little ways let’s try help those around us. Truly care and show concern for those people around us. We don’t know what they are going through even with the smile plastered on their faces. It is well.

Youtube has been buzzing with so much racist rants videos. I am not going to start my own rant against those women but one question I ask is “Should we Blacks, Hispanics, Arabs, Asians and other ‘minority’ groups be scared?” Do we have to keep watching our backs from now on? Yes, UK has had a very high rate of murders committed especially against Blacks but with this new wave of rants, do I see it sky-rocketing?

It isn’t all bad news people.

Happy new month people. Last month of the year. Yipee.

Like that old CAC song says

Odun lo so pin o Baba rere (The year is running to an end, good/merciful God/Father)

Fi so re sowa o (Protect us)

On ti o pawa lekun o lodun tun tun (What would make us weep in the New Year)

Ma je ko sele si wa o Baba rere (Don’t let it happen good/merciful God/Father)

(I sincerely hope I got it right)

The good Lord who has brought us this far would bring us to the end. By His grace, in a month’s time we would be screaming Happy New Year. After November and February, December is my next favourite month of the year. Yes because of Christmas. Who doesn’t love Christmas? So the countdown begins 24 days…. Do have a lovely Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

And 21 days to the close of this donation. Please help bring smiles to peoples faces.

Tada