Tag Archives: Rings

Married the new single

Loool. I see some people are laughing. Tis hard staying away from this blog biko. Are you happy now? Lol.

Back to topic.

Quick question. When did it become a trend for women (most especially) to start tripping for married men? It goes both ways but it is more of a female thingy. You see that man with a ring and that is the one you decide to crush on. Sometimes even plot to become madam. When we stopped looking at single men (and women) and decide it is those ones with the ring gan gan we prefer? I have heard a lotta reasons from the “he is married means he is responsible and would take care of me” to the “I didn’t know he was married”. I think it is the latter group I should address first.

I am one of those who looks at a man’s left hand unconsciously (it has become a habit sha) but within few minutes of meeting him. And I get very amazed and most times pissed when I see a supposedly married man without his ring on. I am a firm believer in what the ring symbolizes and except the ring was stolen (and even if it was, what happened to getting another and asking your Priest, Pastor, Bishop, Reverend, Vicar, Imam to bless it?) I don’t see why a man/woman shouldn’t wear it. I just believe some men (and women) set out to deceive others. True confession. I have scoped one too many guys only to discover they are married (things you are allowed to do when you are single; abi na? Before a le boo puts a ring on it). I remember going to see someone recently and looking at his hands am like uhmmmm at 40+, you aint married? Only to see some photo frames from the corner of my eyes, I turn to look and see him and his family. At that point I knew he couldn’t be less than 50 (he sure looks like he is in his mid 40s though) and I almost asked him why he wasn’t wearing a ring. I dunno if it is only me it has happened to but a couple of times, you see the hawt guy and suddenly some woman (at times pg or even with kids) comes from nowhere to make you know say this one is taken. Trust me, I can relate. I don’t want no woman scoping my man either. I can “tika bo e loju”. I fit put “sorry he is taken for him forehead”. Lol. I no fit o. But when the man no gree wear him ring nko? *sigh*. I have heard the it is not necessary to wear the ring especially once it is agreed on by the couple. For me o, it is utter BS. Please wear your ring. You wear am sef, people dey trip. If you now no wear am nko? You are causing a lot of heartbreak with the ring on, you have all now decided we no dey wear am. Mtschewwww. Lol. Am taking it P.

Now back to the ones who see that that man or woman is married o, and na him/her they want. I have no words for such people. I just pray that when they get married too, na their own man/woman someone else too would want. Abi? Fair enough innit? Like I tell people who clearly see someone is in a relationship/engaged or even married yet shamelessly chase after them, as you have done to another man’s/woman’s so would it be done to you. For the “shebi they are just in a relationship/engaged” people, when you get engaged too, someone else would say such to your man/woman. Shikena.

To wrap up my somewhat pointless post, asked a friend some questions some 3/4 years ago and thought to ask a bigger audience, especially the married ones. Funny thing is when I asked her these questions, I wasn’t even in a relationship not to talk of getting married but I feel though the questions apply to normal everyday man-woman romantic relationships, married people would relate better. Quick background to why I asked the questions then. There was this guy I really did like and he liked me gan (too much sef). And everybody thought these ones are so perfect and yada yada. Woke up one day and I suddenly didn’t have no feelings whatsoever for him. As in. I just didn’t like him no more and I was mega scared. I freaked out cuz it did occur to me that day that I could have been married and can one day wake up and not love my husband anymore. It was a moku mogbe modaran moment. I told him straight I didn’t see him in that light anymore but then thought if we were married, how would I have handled it?

1. How do you handle the days when you wake up and kinda like freak out. Like ask yourself “what have I gotten into”? Am I sure I married the right person? Like when you just feel you don’t love the man/woman you married no longer. The OMG, I want out moments.

2. You are married to this amazing man/woman. Months/years after, you meet this super, mega amazing man/woman. Do you start to think maybe you settled? Maybe if you had waited a bit, you would have married this super amazing man/woman? How do people handle it?

3. How do you “close” your eyes to all the men/women you meet after marriage? Especially for the women. How do you close your eyes and heart to that guy who does what le boo does (or used to do) and more? Answers please and please I know praying is key. Asides prayers nko?

Couple of weddings today. End of the year weddings. Sadly, can’t attend any as popman has decided we spend the weekend in a place I haven’t been in 19+ years. I don’t even know how I should feel. Wishing them all the best as they start their journey together.