By first I mean a full Igbo wedding. Husband, Igbo. Wife, Igbo. Before today’s it was either bride or groom.
And oh boy, it was dry, then funny, the downright absurd, funny again… Boring at some point… All in all, I would say it was an interesting wedding.
It is a first on another level. Also my first mogbo mobranch wedding. No IV. I no even sabi who the couple be. Didn’t know their names till I picked C (who I tagged along with).
Where do I begin the story? I have a few Igbo friends. Catholics for that matter. So I shoulda been able to relate with this wedding right? Nope. With the Ibo language flying over my head, left, right and centre. People, please, recognise that not all your guests would understand your language. I get that once such events occur, you enter into that mood, where you are just cruising. Bet, biko, remember people like us.
First though, I take back my “I must marry an Igbo man”. Whow, they don’t just cut it.. They are the razzest of men I have seen. Hia!!!!!! WHAT???? Sticking to my Yoruba brothers. Somebody say Amen. iKid. Not Igbo though. Na. Mba.
Secondly, the MC. I can go on and on… Telling someone to come and see your privates? Seriously? Or the dry jokes? Or his reaction to being sprayed N50 notes?
Or dear Jennifer. Who kept staying in our line of vision. Like you couldn’t have attended that wedding without “seeing” and noticing her. Once the MC said anything about a single lady, dear young lady was up and heading for the front.
Oh and naming your child Ancestor? I thought I heard lots of “uncommon” names, but this one though, I no sabi the English to use. A friend once said Igbo bear ridiculous names and I begged to differ. I am beginning to agree. Anywayz, I wasn’t the only one who thought he should hook up with Jennifer already. They look good together. Hehehe.
I have always heard of women that drink. Well I experienced it first hand today. Oh or those on our table who ate all the small chops in like how many seconds? Them bring small chops come, put it in front of C and I. We were facing the high table yeah, next thing, I look from the side of the eye and the plate was gone. All we saw was the empty plate, in front of one of the others on the table. You mo fit wait make dem carry your plate of small chops come? Yes, am still angry cuz I love small chops.
Or the lady who shouts from her seat, asking the groom not to embarrass himself cuz “you sabi say u no fit dance”. Chei. Mbakwa.
Or guys dressed in Ben 10 and Mickey mouse costumes coming in?
I think the part I couldn’t figure out what the problem was, was when the parents came in. Bride’s parents come in without much dancing (whose fault?). Groom’s mum comes in, and her friends join her to dance. Well, bride’s mum then sends someone to tell the MC she wants to come in again. Whew….
I thought breaking kola nut was done at Igbo engagements, not weddings? Any Igbos in the house who can explain? My Igbo friends don’t know o. They are not “sure”.
All in all, I love the fact that it was a very small wedding. No crowds. Not sure we were up to 200 guests. Very private wedding. Plus I got to see an old friend. Been a while.
I guess now I am prepared for when Ify and C and other Igbo friends get married. Bet I take God beg una, marry Yoruba men…
And this is the summary of my eventful gate crashed first mogbo moya, Igbo wedding.
Disclaimer: this is by no means intended to insult any tribe or people. Nor to make fun of anybody. Like, I said earlier, I also have my fair share of Igbo friends. It is just my musings on an Igbo wedding I attended.