Tag Archives: God

I want to be

Got back from church pretty early today. Actually went to another parish and service was fast. And for the first time in a long while I actually had time to reflect on the sermon. Now, with all the activities on a typical Sunday for me, I usually get home and knock out. And I was fast burning out. Late last night I just decided I had to go somewhere else. Where no one knew me and I could hear the word without getting distracted. So off I went and I am happy I did. Those who know me know I over-think things (if there is a word like that) and so what I write below is a result of me thinking about the sermon (actually a recap of an earlier sermon the Pastor had preached) which led to me thinking about other things till I finally got to this writing…

I want to stand before Kings and not mean men

I want to (in the words of my ex) be so hidden in Christ; anyone who finds me must find Christ to find me

I want to honour God with my body, my substance

I want to search the scriptures with all diligence and not just take every word thrown at me (especially in Christian circles) as the law

I want to be the woman who guards her heart

I want to be the woman whose children shall arise and call her blessed

I want to be the woman whose children shall call her bestie

I want to be the woman whose husband takes delight in her all his days

I want to bring my husband good and not harm

I want to be so diligent; so meticulous, hardworking

I want to be the woman everybody knows they are welcome around her

I want to the woman who judges NOT

I want to be as a tree planted by the rivers of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever I do would prosper

I want to be excellent

Oh yes I want to be rich yet very humble

I want to be blessed and yet more a blessing

I want to be able to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves

I want to speak the truth always

Here in is the conclusion of the matter: I want to fear the Lord and keep his commands

I spoke about using this blog as a tracker (making myself accountable) right? So for those who know me (outside of this blog), if I fall short or aint doing any of the above, you have the right to call me to order. If you see me turn a blind eye to the truth, do let me know. If you see me sloppy or not exerting myself, ya have a right to whip me (not literally biko).

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Musings and lessons learnt?

So here I am, putting down things that occurred to me during the week (some I already knew but they never hit me the way they did during the course of the week).

1. It matters what people say about you when you are gone. This Baroness Thatcher issue again. My knowledge of her for long was just that I knew she was once Prime Minister, the first female and yada yana. Well, asides the fact that I grew up being called Thatcher or Iron Lady. I just wonder, if she wasn’t firm/strict/unshaken (put your preferred English), would people talk about her the way they do? We are usually told, it doesn’t matter what people say/think about you. I think it does. That said, be rest assured, you cannot satisfy everybody. And not all people would say nice/good/positive (again if this doesn’t do you, put what your prefer) things about you. Above all, what matters is what heaven says about you.

2. I had a conversation with a friend some months back about singlehood (is there a word like that? Ok I have added it to the dictionary) and I asked if it ever occurred to her maybe she wasn’t meant to get married. As I expected, she got all so Christianise with the God forbid, Olorun maje, not my portion ish. Not like I blame her though. I completely forgot that conversation. Till worshipandswag’s post on destined to be single. And I just smiled. I am of the opinion that not everybody would get married (same way not everybody would have children). I believe the African culture places so much “importance” (note the quotes, marriage is important but not overtly important, at least not the way most people take it like their lives depend on it and if they don’t get married, their world aint ok) on marriage. Unnecessary importance and as such for a lot of people (especially women) it is inconceivable to think they would NEVER get married. A lot of us cannot just fathom it. Don’t get me wrong, it is completely and absolutely legitimate for any man or woman to desire to get married. Even God realised that man shouldn’t be alone and decided to give him a help, meet for him. I still believe though that contrary to what a lot of people believe, not everybody was created to get married.

3. A few of us were discussing before our church’s single fellowship yesterday (and somehow everybody else was what we term a matured single, asides me and the single fellowship leader who is very married) and this woman (the leader) was gisting us about when she had her marriage counselling. She said their counsellor told her that for a lot of people (once again, women especially), we go into marriages with a preconceived idea of what we want our marriages to be like (not that it is bad, but we all know the danger of unmet expectations right? I don’t need to dwell on that). She said we build towers, block on block, brick on brick and then make the man the roof. And then the shaking starts. He rocks it once, small cracks appear, we patch it. He rocks it the second time (now the cracks widen). We patch and glue and do all sorts. And then one day, the whole tower comes crumbling down, with the weight of the man (the roof) on the woman (or man, depends on who built the tower). Whatever happens after then, na only God fit save the pesin. Lesson is make God the roof. Your husband/wife would disappoint. There would be rocking but with Him at the top, all is well. The person you are most sensitive to is the easiest to disappoint you.

4. Never cease to appreciate your friends and family. I felt for so long I have stopped appreciating and thanking family members and friends. Like I always felt I needed to have a reason to say thank you to them. Well, I do know now, I don’t need a reason. For just putting up with me alone, it is enough to be thankful for. iJoke. I am the nicest person to be around. In my head. You don’t need a reason to appreciate people. So a VERY BIG THANK YOU to everybody who reads this blog, to friends, to family, to friends who are more than friends, to friends who have become family, to everybody. Thank you. E se pupo. And no, I am not dying.

5. I had a hair mishap this night. I was told mixing egg with some many tinz helps hair growth, strengthens your hair and all. And as I am on a hair growth journey, I decided to try it out. Got out of the bathroom to discover my hair was “glued” together. This wasn’t a “it is tangled” level. It was like someone poured glue on my head. After 30 seconds of freaking out (and having my sisters laugh their lives out), I rushed back in and started washing the life out of it. Well, lost quite a lot of hair sadly but not that bad. Lesson: when you wanna try such stunts, go to a salon and get someone to make the mix for you, that way, you have someone to sue if anything goes wrong. iKid. The main lesson is, it worked for Mimi no mean say e go work for Deronk. Ik does it that way no mean say the day Kc do am, e no go get K-leg. That said, I am scared I would wake up later in the day with no hair on my head. And no, I won’t upload pictures of me bald (if that ever happens). I love the egg mix smell though. Just doubt I am gonna try it again.

In other more interesting news, we have a gown. Lols. One of my “brides” has picked her gown. Really excited. Can’t put up pictures yet. You shall see it in a few months. However, how do I get bride B to get more serious about this planning.

In other other news, I see some people owe us some posts. If you owe us (blogsville, a few posts, raise your hands). Ok I see a couple of hands. One male, one female. Did I mention names? Be guided o.

In unrelated news (well, indulge me, no be news), you can never tell a person’s true character until you work (or walk) with them.

Happy Sunday people.

Another phase ends

Oh well, I haven’t blogged in a really long while apparently and some people have been giving me side eye. Ntooorrrr.

Well well well, there was really nothing to blog about. No. Not writer’s/blogger’s block. Plus no time rara at all. I just was very busy (somehow). Essays which were due like week in, week out and finally an exam to prepare for. Fortunately all that ended last Friday. Like seriously *whew*. How time flies. A year of school is over already. It wasn’t easy mehn. Schooling ko easy. Hopefully this is the last time am gonna go to school. No MBA. No Phd. School isn’t for moi.

Am grateful to God for strength. It was tough. The last four weeks especially. It was like I saw the end yeah and the stress just increased. To think I didn’t do a dissertation. If I now did one nko? I started sha and by His grace, am done. Am forever thankful.

To my parents, sisters and YB, a very BIG Thank you.

To those everybody who stood by me, prayed for me, cooked for me, were just there for me, thank you.

Ok. While I was out, Angelsbeauty got married. Yayyyyy *dancing windeck*. Single Nigerian Man decided to stop blogging. We shall discuss that matter soon. And I was at Just Joxy‘s yesterday. Proper poundo yam and ila asepo. Yeah I know some people are beefing. Aint mentioning names o. And am getting cake from hers today. Oh how I love cakes. *side eye*.

Finally, we got a lot of bloggers in my family. Here is the link to my younger sister‘s blog. Some nice stories there. In case I never mentioned it, there is big sister, there is younger sister and there is baby/kid sister *big smile*. I am somewhere in between big sister and younger sister. That was easy for figure out ba? No mind me.

August is ending already. Time flies. Can’t believe it is September in a bit. I can start my yearly countdown to November right? Even if you talk say I no fit, my countdown starts soon.

Officially unemployed and job hunting now.

Till next time, tada.

By the way, I hear a Nigerian won a medal today. Gold for that matter. Finally, our anthem gets played. Also hear the paralympians train a lot on their own. God help us in that country. I was scared the Paralympics won’t have as much fun fare but am glad I was disappointed. Let the games begin

Am back

Wow…. Been a while have been here. Thanks to essays and exams but NOW, am back.

Na so January just come and in less than 7 days would be over. Freaking fast month. Oh well, all the better for me. February can like to hurry too till March. Then March- April should take chill pills. Like pause. Lol.

Glad to be back though. So many things happened while I was away. Like I said, exams and essays to write took a lot of my time, I only managed to post on 1st. Hope I wasn’t missed much.

January 10 marked a year I had this scary surgery (scary cause it went well but the entire week after, I practically wasn’t myself, I was in so much pain). I just thank God for the gift of life. This year also, I was pretty down for some time before exams. When you just feel so sick you don’t know exactly what is wrong. And the devil tried. All sorts of scary thoughts. Spent part of the day before my first paper in the hospital cause I just couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head till I found out exactly what the problem was. I sat down there waiting each time to be called in for a test (blood test, ECG, x-rays) all the while scared they might find something wrong with me. After all sorts of tests and all, it all came out clear. I was just worrying and giving the devil a chance to scare me. So I decided to walk in freedom over every sickness and thoughts the devil might bring my way because I have been set free and the price paid. Every thought brought under subjection because I have not been given the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. FREEDOM!!!!!!! Set free, loved and powerful (thanks Richard, Dave and Mark for the sermons in the past 3 weeks; word in due season).

Woke up this morning and after my devotion, something struck me. As females we have been called to be wives first and then mothers. I dunno (oh well, thanks to the new bbm smiley, I used to go idk) how that works as I am not married but I pray God would give us the grace to be able to balance our responsibilities first as wives and then as mothers (as the children would all leave the house one day and we are left alone with our husbands). God help us.

I was going to blog about the all fuel subsidy ish in Nigeria but decided against it. However, my elder sister did start one which I would like to share. Really deep things (and am not saying that cause she is my sister). Lol.

I know a lot of things has been going on behind me here, but not to worry, I would soon have your time. Thankful also, it hasn’t snowed (not talking sleet) and the temperatures haven’t gone bunkers. When I see -30 degrees in the States, one thought would just fly through my head; Ile ya (Time to go home). Can’t just imagine staying in that kinda place. Well, God knew I would be here this year, so He decided to give a warm winter. My God loves me.

Thanking God for a great month so far and praying the rest of the year gets even better and better.

Still got a paper tomorrow so please pray for me. Can’t wait for tomorrow night.

Till next time (hopefully soon), tis tada.

Cheers

NB: Ara n be ti mo fe da… lol… heard a song a while back and that part struck me.

Parents as Custodians

Yay… am in a very happy mood this special month. Oh yes am gonna say it over and over again. Am so happy. Though am writing this with a very serious headache. Great month so far and one lesson I have learnt in these 3 days is Gossip is work. Listening to gossip is very tasking. Can sap the life out of a person. I try not to gossip (or gist as people would want to call it; though I wonder what the difference is as there is just a VERY thin line between gisting and gossip) but the experience I had yesterday/this morning has taught me to even now avoid places people gossip (though how to avoid the salon I can’t yet figure).

Back to the topic. I remember reading Proverbs 4: 20-22 (one of the days in Open Heavens) and part of what we learnt was while parenting is a challenge, parents are meant to be their children’s teacher, instructor, guide, coach. Then read 1st Samuel 2 and 3 sometime after that and kinda tried comparing Hannah and Eli; Eli not doing any of the above with his children considering that God gave them to him to be their custodian on earth while Hannah realized that every child was from God and her task was to take care of the child God’s way. The Bible I used (NIV Family Foundations) then ended with that was one of the reasons she could give Samuel back to God. That got me thinking. How many parents actually see themselves as custodians? Temp parents and not the god in their children’s lives? Whose will for that child must be followed and followed to the letter. How many parents can say to God in this child’s life, let your will be done? And not try force their will on the children even when it obviously isn’t the right way? How many parents fulfill their responsibilities and obligations to their children the right way? And how many of us children don’t take for granted what our parents do for us? Yes it is their responsibility but I think at some point we get to the stage we are like ehn it is their work na and though we might say thank you, it is just for saying it’s sake not because we really mean it. I might be wrong.

Had this roommate back in the University who was meant to graduate the year I entered but for her father’s many many runz with other girls. At some point the man stopped paying her fees and was paying the same amount into her “best friend’s” account. So babe had to drop out, work some months, come back, work and on till we both graduated together. I remember once (by then she was my roommate) and the man paid #10,000 into her account. See the way she was thanking and praying for him. I was shocked (didn’t know the full story then). The whole room went silent and then when she stepped out another roommate told us the story. Don’t get me wrong but I guess at some point I had started taken for granted my parents paying fees, feeding me, clothing me and all; though I said thank you, it was kind of like routine. I have this cousin who when she finishes eating says thank you (a trait especially amongst those who grew up in the East) and I think at some point it started creeping my mum out she had to ask her to stop and am like no, if she truly appreciates the fact that you fed her, let her say thank you. After all, there are children whose parents don’t feed them, don’t clothe them. If she truly wants to be thankful, leave her be. Now, I even say thank you to the cook when he makes food cuz I think what if he decides not to show up on a day I get back from work starving and I have to cook. The fact that he came and cooked is enough to be thankful for. Some can argue though that what he is paid for. I am just thankful.

One thing I keep praying to God about is for the grace to see the children He would give me as His children for me to take care of on earth and all that concerns them, I speak to their father (God) about. Not for me to decide how they would live their lives without first consulting Him. Not my will but His.

N.B: expect my birthday series from tomorrow.

Tada

Thankful

Its been a while since I posted anything… Not for any good reason though… Have been a bit busy but that’s not enough reason not to post. Anywayz, happy new month people…

I am not one of those Happy New Month “texters”or “broacasters” (in fact I get quiet peeved when people send me messages but what can I do; cause am thinking I frigid know it is a new month) but in the last couple of weeks as September approached, I found myself thinking (maybe cause have been home doing nothing, I had so much time to think)… about the past 8 months. What has been and what hasn’t. What I set out to achieve and have achieved and those I haven’t and the list goes on… I kept looking back at how my life has been and how far I have come and all I can just say is thank you Jesus. He has been too faithful.

On one of my reminiscing days, I suddenly remembered a prayer I had raised and in fact COMPLETELY forgot about it… Started the year with something I had hoped to achieve by the end of this month and did pray a particular prayer concerning it and forgot *covering my face*. I kept on processing it but forgot I prayed that particular prayer. Sometimes, about two weeks ago, something happened and I panicked. I def didn’t sleep early that night. As I was praying, that prayer point come to mind and I knew God was just reminding me of His faithfulness cause that prayer was already answered and it was like since He did this, He would definitely complete it…I slept well that night and every night since then.

I set a target for September 2nd on the issue that was going to give me a sleepless night two weeks back and just left it to God. Today September 1st, everything got sorted. Two weeks ago, it didn’t look like it was going to be sorted in a month sef not to talk of within two weeks. One thing I heard for sure that night two weeks back was “All these are your calculations, what of mine? And He has been working according to His timing since I let go.

I also started this year and courting was one of the things off my list of to-do this year. I don’t do new year resolutions but I do give myself a list of set targets for the year. And being in a relationship was not on that list. But God’s ways are past finding out… And for that am grateful, happy *bbm dancing smiley*. And for many more I can’t start to recount.

Still taking a stock of the past months and hoping to make amends for things have missed out on achieving within the set time (with God’s help) because He continues to prove that on my own, I can’t do it.

Not all has been good. Somethings I needed to work on or change have also been on my mind. Things I need to stop doing and by God’s grace, I would… Once again, I can’t achieve that on my own so am handing them over to the one who can help me.

I decided to clean my room today and I was shocked at some of the things I kept. I pride myself in being able to keep things but finding my first year registration form was definitely not one of the things I should be happy I kept. That is what Yorubas call “panti”. Told YB and he replies “I don’t want panti in our house”. I def have trashed all that. And eye-shadow, brushes and other makeup stuff I haven’t used in a long while but would just not trash. Sad to see them go but they were constituting panti in my room. Clothes I haven’t worn in a long while too are gonna find their way to those who need them soonest. I am glad I did this cleaning though my back aches. A word of advise “Never start cleaning without eating a proper meal”. At some point my head was turning. Thankfully, the last 4 hours has been worth it. Off to burn the “burnables”… Trashed the “trashables”.

Do have a great September….And for those who know me, my count down and planning begins… November here I come *wink wink*