Tag Archives: Gifts

I begged God to die

I got your attention with that title right? Lols. Nothing serious. Just remembered the story of Jonah earlier today and how he asked God to kill him.

Now,  Lord , take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live. (Jonah 4:3)

I was at that point in life late last year. I literally begged God to take my life. Moved from begging when He didn’t to praying for rapture to come like yesterday. *le sigh*. I am alright people. It was just a phase.

Remembered that today and how often we get judgmental or because we don’t know how someone feels about something bad that happened, how easily we make comments that could hurt the person (not like we intended to). I am one of those who anytime Jonah’s story came up or I read it, I scoffed and raised my nose. I asked if he was God and why he should be angry God didn’t destroy a city. I wondered and said he should have killed himself na. Abi? If God no kee you, kee yourself.

I recently stumbled on some posts on suicides, depression and all and remembered my reaction to a couple of suicides last year (relationship related suicides). Forgive me, I asked what they were thinking. Couldn’t they have considered the family they left behind? Why kill yourself because of a man/woman? And all and all. This morning I was reminded I was no different. No difference between me who asked God to kill me and the one who decided to do the killing herself/himself. And as I thought about all that all I could sing was

Imela, Imela, Okaka, Onyekeruwa
Imela, Imela, Ezemo.

I remembered how easy it is/was to judge others. A friend had her wedding cancelled recently (groom to be called it off a month to the wedding) and another friend actually said “I hope she moves on fast” and all sorts and I just sat there thinking “na so e easy?” Just pray and thank God you aint in her shoes. For once I understood how she felt, because I have been in her shoes. I have had a lot of people to tell me things in the last 3 months and am just there thinking “it is so easy for you to talk”. Then I also thought, what if these people who killed themselves had similar conversations and had people tell them the usual.  And they just couldn’t get past that phase? There are days people tell me things and I just cut them off or tell them point blank, don’t tell me that, you don’t know how I feel. So easy for you to say. Now I know what it is like. I hope never to “judge” people that way any longer. Offer your support and gauge the person’s mood before you start talking. Same thing with when someone loses a loved one. I usually don’t call or say anything. I just go see the person and hug or just sit with the person. Not because I can’t say the usual, it is well and all but cause I won’t. At least not when it is still fresh. A lot of people are struggling. In the spirit of the season (no be love season we dey?), show some love.

Moving on to interesting and happy things. It is Valentine’s day right. Happy for all of una. Never been a freak (see reasons here). However, I am happy a lot of people are happy. Good thing about having all sisters is somehow, something always enters the house. I see cake in the house already. Should I say my boss “val-ed” me? She gave me shoes this morning. Did I write it on my forehead that I am a shoe lover? First gave me a whole gift bag of jewellery over the weekend. Now shoes? What should I expect next? Na female no worry.

So I hear there is mahd traffic on the Island. Am I surprised? No. Na usual Vals day traffic. One of the reasons I hate detest Vals day. Thank God I aint on the Island this year. Plus must it rain every Vals day? I don’t know about last year but in the last few years, it has rained every Vals day. *smh*

From helping a friend get Vals gifts to planning a bridal shower, I have had an extra busy week. Work in itself is usually hectic. I now added more work to it. It was fun sha. Btw, where can I get red fascinator in Lagos? Already planning my outfit for L’s wedding (which is a month away). I am that kind of an organiser. I tend to plan a lot of things way in advance. No aso -ebi (girl after my heart) but touch of red. Now I am planning nude gown, shoes and bag. I NEED A RED FASCINATOR. Don’t make me wear a red gown please. Red is strictly for accessories- nail polish, lip stick (oh la la) and all those tinz.

I am beginning to plan a wedding in my head (plus my speech). Introduced two friends recently and the guy buzzes me to tell me they are doing dinner tonight and was seriously praying she doesn’t relocate (her family is out of the country). I was just awwwing. I am just that much of a sucker for love. I am gonna restrain myself from buzzing the babe later tonight to ask how it went. Abi should I buzz? Yes/No… The urge to buzz is strong yo. I am seriously praying it goes well BECAUSE I am writing my “how they met” story already. Yes ke, na me introduce them.

In other news, I met SNM on Sunday. Naughty child he is. Offered me only water. iKid. Offered me drinks and food, I opted for water. Twas nice seeing you. Second blogger I get to meet. Where are the others o?

Happy Valentine’s day dear readers. Hope ya all had fun or are having fun today. If you val-ed someone or got val-ed, please remember some of us get sweet tooth. Send our cake, chocolate and all o. For #teamforeveralones, well sowie. Next year ehn.

Oh and my boss brings cake….. This woman knows how to put a smile on my face….

Happy belated birthday to Just Joxy. I am so sorry I missed the date. And happy birthday to my god-mum and my cousin IfeOluwa.
Tada

Advertisements

Positioning yourself

First things first, I would like to say a big thank you to Phumie for her comment. You really really really really made my day. Been awwww-ing and smiling since I got the mail. I am glad I inspire someone.

“You have done well in the last 2 years. I have been following your write ups for a couple of months and it has been an inspiration to me as a blogger myself. Keep up the good work.”

Yes I like to blow my own trumpet like that. I hope I haven’t embarrassed her sha.

Secondly, I did gbagaun in my last post and more than 50 views after, nobody noticed. Just made me remember how imperfect we all are no matter how hard we try to make things perfect. I usually read any post at least twice after posting and edit and edit and edit and…. You get my point. Yet I didn’t see the mistake till my elder sister mentioned it this morning. *sigh*.

Third abi na thirdly (before I shell again), I have decided what the competition would be. So I don’t leave anybody out. My big sis made me realize that I had no incentive(s) for the person whose idea I decide to go with. So as not to disqualify anybody, all you need do is comment on this post and subsequent posts till Thursday, January 31st 11.59pm. I would compile the list of all those who dropped by and made comments and pick a winner. So keep the comments coming.

Back to the post. This is a not serious serious post. The good book says “he that finds a wife…” right? And as women we have been told and lectured and… that it is the man that does the searching right? All we need do is wait. He would come. Ok so people have “preached” that while “waiting”, position yourself abi? I have aunties who all they preach is  “you these girls, go out, ehn”.  My question is “how do you position yourself”? Was gisting with BFF1 yesterday and we got into the we are getting old, we must get married discussion (well that’s what happens when you have two bored, one jobless and the other on leave with the house to ourselves) and we started “bemoaning” our fate. Both of us are perpetual “stay at homes”. We detest  don’t like going out. Oh ABC is having a party, everybody else goes, we stay back. Oh there is this shopping party at XYZ, errr we find an excuse. Well in the last few weeks we on our own decided to go to a couple of places and trust me, we were bored within a couple of hours. Such days usually ended with us stopping at O1 to buy sharwama or Dominos for pizza. Then we head home and have “fun”. Boring right. Ok so we asked ourselves that question a lot of women ask at some point in life. How would you get found staying at home? How do you position yourself to be found?

In other news, I have decided to fill my time (well between applying and preparing for tests and interviews) with learning make-up (shaping eyebrows at the moment; one step at a time) and tying gele. Youtube has been my teacher (why is this gehl behaving like an akuse right?). I need help though with gele gele. I find it easy tying the aso oke (the thick and thin ones; singele), ankara BUT still can’t figure out (with the zillion videos I have watched) how to do the gele. After like an hour I just give up. Is there a simpler method?

 

NB: Please include your full name (s) if possible.

2 years on, 100th post

Hello everyone.

Finally found gifts to give out for a competition I have no idea what it should be; what question or questions to ask or what to ask people to do to win the prizes I have.

Anyways, I got the gifts…………….. Like I said in my last post, it is only open to those in Nigeria and UK. Preferably Nigeria (you know now, but something could always be done if there is a winner in the UK. Apologies to US readers, my legs never long reach USA).

Anyways (again?), I need help determining what the competition should entail. Sadly, whoever I go with his/her idea(s) isn’t eligible to participate. So please keep your ideas coming. Hopefully, I get the competition started before next weekend. Which would give 3 weeks to this blog’s 2nd anniversary.

A big thank you to all my readers and those who take time out to comment. And for those who just read, thank you too. Woulda posted the gift(s) but figured I wait till the competition starts.

Gracias.

Side note: If I go with your idea, whilst it means disqualification (in that sense), I would find a gift for you. Thanks.

All you women, there is a school you all attend…..

A friend’s friend made this statement a couple of weeks back that got me thinking. Met him at L’s office and we got talking. Somehow we ended up talking about his family and he started talking about how he doesn’t take his wife out on dates any more. I was appalled at first then he explained. He said whenever they go out, she always picks the most expensive food on the menu (even when he has informed her before hand say he no get moni) and would end up not finishing it or making statement like “it was just there”, “I didn’t enjoy it”. Trust, after it happened a number of times, he stopped taking her out except on her birthday. And he would have ordered the meal before they get there. That got me thinking. What is it about us females that when we are in a relationship or married, we believe all our bukata (needs) must be met by the man? We believe it is our duty to spend all the man’s money. After all it is his money abi na our money. But most of us would rather keep ours.

I remember listening in on radio some years ago. A kiss and make up program and this dude calls in to ask them to beg his wife. What was his offence? He usually fuels his wife’s car. She comes that morning to ask for money to get fuel and he asked her to use her money. And the woman vex. I wondered why she felt she had a right to the man’s money. Common sense told me immediately (though the man said he was joking when he said she should use her money) that the man must have had a reason to ask her to use her money. The reason whether he was joking or he seriously didn’t have money she never bothered to find out. She got angry and left the house immediately. I just smiled to myself that day and thought “she is even lucky she has someone to ask”. Some women don’t have husbands to ask of. She is lucky she even had someone who fuelled her car. A lot of women don’t dare even ask for owo obe from their husbands. I recounted that incident and that is what led to L’s friend making the comment about women going to a particular school where they teach us how to suck men dry. All we do is ask and ask and want to spend and spend and spend the man’s money. While “saving” (for want of a better word) ours. His money is OUR money, my money is MY money. I can spend his but he can’t spend mine.

Earlier today, I was also chatting with a friend and he sent me some message I guess a female friend sent to him. Paraphrased, the lady said it is the duty of the man to support the family (very right) BUT it isn’t compulsory for her to help him support the home. She said his money should be used to determine the standing of the family and not hers. My reply to him was I agree to an extent with her statements. It is a man’s sole responsibility to provide for his home. Even the Bible tells us a man who can’t do that is worse than an infidel. HOWEVER, the woman is the helper. It is compulsory for her to do her part in supporting the man every way she can none the least, financially. While in the olden days, it might have been easier for the man to be the sole provider, the way things are right now, the man cannot and shouldn’t be left alone to take care of all the responsibilities. You should be able to cover each other. If he doesn’t have and you do, there is nothing stopping you from taking up that responsibility even if it means you collect the money later (directly or indirectly). Regarding whether his money should be used to determine the standing of the family, I also agree. I did suggest though that rather than it being his money (which for most women is our money), a joint account would be a good idea. That way it is a clear cut case of our money determining the standing of the family. I believe in marriage, there shouldn’t be his money, her money. It should be our money.

I do realize that while it is easy to type our money, actually doing it might be hard. That is why I am a believer in having one or two joint accounts. Both parties put in a certain amount each month depending on their pay and payment of bills, vacation and other bukata can be paid for from there. That frees up the rest of each person’s income for personal things. I know a number of men who say they can never give their wives their debit or credit card. If she lays her hands on it, it would come back empty. Haba. Kilode? And these wives are equally employed and well paid o.

Later this evening, went on instagram and saw someone put up a picture (see below).

photo

I have come to realize that for a lot of females in relationships, we have turned the guy into our money market fund (except this time, we don’t wanna pay back what we have collected and def not with interest). I need, I want, Can I have. Most times asking for things we can’t even afford ourselves and maybe even know the guy can’t afford at that moment. Even if he can afford everything sef, haba, cool down na. I grew up never accepting something from a guy I can’t give back  or afford if things go the other way. In fact I remember keeping a gift for over a year once because it was pretty expensive and I didn’t want a situation where we stopped talking and things hit the roof and I start hearing stories. What I can’t afford or give, I don’t accept. Frankly, he is your husband, he is your boyfriend, he is your fiance not your BANK. Seriously, let’s pity these men and not allow them label all of us. Little wonder why a lot of men believe all women are materialistic and can be bought. Just drop money, buy gifts, o pari. She would trip. Whatever happened to self worth and respect?

Back to L’s friend. After I had tried defending my people, he ends with “let’s see what happens when you get married”. Now am scared. Is there a school I am not aware of, that once I get married, I start exhibiting characters associated with those who attended this school?

Birthday party

Yipeeeee

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. E se pupo. Thank you very much. God bless

I had so much fun over the weekend till yesterday itself. With the sisters in town since Friday, it was party, going out and all all weekend. Then the grand finale (lols) yesterday. For those who remember I LOVE CAKES, I am very very very very very grateful.

1/4 done.

The cakes at the party over the weekend

My birthday gift from me to me. Would upload the picture of the dress I got me if I can later. But am so rocking these mustard/yellow heels.

Cupcakes at yesterday’s party

At the party on Saturday

Cake from my cousin yesterday.

Didn’t take pictures yesterday though. Yeah.

I had so much fun and I think this is my bestest birthday ever. Friends, family, crushes (oh yes, my cousin came home with one of my Uni crushes yesterday. Heart skipped a bit). Twas just fun allllllllllll the way.

Finally wrote the end on a chapter of my life yesterday and shut the book. Something that had “weighed” me down for months and most especially in the last couple of weeks. Finally had to let it go yesterday as I wasn’t the only one getting disappointed no longer. Even my younger sister was getting disappointed and upset for me. Enough of the disappointments and heart aches. Still get sad and all BUT I know it is for the better. Sure I would write about it at some point in the future. But really feels good not to be disappointed.

People keep asking me how it feels to be 2* years (am sure by now some people have already figured it out). Seriously I don’t know. How am I meant to feel? And for those who have been praying twins and triplets into my future, God sees you and knows your addresses o. I no do o.

Do have a lovely day people.

Tada

My wishlist

Yay… my birthday is approaching…. *windeck* Sigh. Like I can dance. Last year I had a Thankful November on fb; putting up statuses everyday on what I was thankful to God for.. This year I have decided to put up a WISHLIST. Yes, you read right. A wishlist… Lol…. Some of the things money can buy… Some, God help me… Every girl wants to be pampered jare. Call me Oliver Twist; greedy; whatever. That is why it is my wishlist and not yours. Lol… So expecting my gifts o….Ya all gat enough time to get whatever you are getting and sending it down… I put up links with some *wink wink* to make it easier…. Lol.

*Drums roll*
1. Blackup lipstick (red, pink and nude)
2. A 24-hour Praise and Worship session…. Give me some Donnie, Don Moen, Micah Stampley, Wale Adenuga, P.P Paul, Pastor Gabriel Eziashi, Nathaniel Bassey and others
3. The Whole Karen Kingsbury books from the Bailey Flanigan Series, Lost Love Series, Redemption Series, Firstborn Series, and Sunrise Series.
4. A trip to Cyprus or Gambia or Malta or Hawaii or Spain (Barcelona precisely) with ya all know who…… YB
5. An iPad2
6. A ticket for 2012 London Olymics or Wimbledon Final…
7. iPhone  4S
8. Estee Lauder Beautiful
9. Blue Chinos
10. Dance Class
11. Language Class- Spanish
12. Wii
13. Mac Book
14. Sun (I need it like badly with no cold or wind)
15. Tiffany Signature Glasses
16. Marc Jacobs Large Single Shoulder Bag
17. Urban Outfitters Deena and Ozzy V-Cut Court Shoes
18. Giorgio Armani Idole d’Armani
19. Thierry Mugler Angel
20. Urban Outfitter Contrast Reptile Satchel
21. Urban Outfitter Ostrich Lady Bag
22. Urban Outfitter Boy London Eagle Tee
23. Henderson Way Ebony Leather
24. My own copy of The Shack by William P Young
25. My own copy of This Present Darkness, Piercing the Darkness, The Oath and The Visitation by Frank Peretti
26. And Illusion also by Frank Peretti- yet to be released (2012), you can keep that in view.

I didn’t ask for much, did I? Lol, seriously, ya all should surprise me…

Tada