Tag Archives: Football

Identity Crisis?

Is being supposedly masculine wrong?

Let me explain. I was at house fellowship yesterday and at some point, the discussion deviated to what a man wants in a woman (maybe not deviated as the topic was The Christian Home). You get my drift sha. Anywayz, the leader gave an example of a cousin of his who was godly and good looking and all but yet un married. After about 5 years and the less good looking, not well to do female cousins were getting married left, right and centre, he decided to investigate. And the male cousins tell him “na man” i.e the cousin behaves like a man, so when a guy comes, he takes off. So he sits her down and they discuss and all. He said no man wants another man in the house. And he said in our world today, we have a problem of identity crisis. He then likened it (and the other men, all married) to being driven/ambitious. And that 80% of men don’t like ambitious women.

And I asked these questions there that I would ask here. Is it wrong for me to change my tyres or wash my car or change the bulb at home myself? And how does my doing such make me driven? Let me break it down. Is my deciding to do the manly things making me a man? I mean, I want a guy that can cook and help with the household ish, if I marry a man who does, does that make him a woman? Would that mean there are 2 women in the house because he decides to help with things going down in the house? Trust, when I asked the questions, the women all went “ehen if my tyre should go flat, I would pick a cab and head home” and I smiled.

I grew up having to swing between turning on the gen or washing my car and cooking for the house. So for me I believe it just comes naturally. If I am stuck with nobody to do the manly things or they refuse to, I no sabi beg anybody, I am off doing them. I remember once the drivers wouldn’t wash my car and we had no cook, so I get back from work at night, bring out all the cooking things needed and let those that need to thaw, thaw, change to something comfortable, go wash my car. When am done, a quick shower and I go to cook. Then my youth Pastor calls me once and unfortunately my phone was in my room, I was downstairs washing. I returned his call and when he asked what I was doing (he needed us to go see someone) and I told him I was washing my car, he started preaching o. Telling me it wasn’t my duty to wash a car I drive.

My point is, if I can do something even if it is what a man can do, does that make me any less a woman and more of a man? I am not saying if there is a man in the house, I would go about changing light bulbs. Trust me, I would find a recliner or bed and take a sweet nap. But even if there is a man, a willing man at that, I don’t think/believe there is anything wrong in taking that responsibility. If you leave your husband to do all the male things, what if he takes ill and can’t do them or even worse, he dies? If you leave your wife to do all the wifely and motherly things, what if same happens? I believe both male and female, we should be able to do both. Maybe not perfectly but at least do something. And not wait till your wife comes home before dinner is ready or till your husband comes home before the gen comes on.

Same with watching football. I love to watch and I hear people tell me it isn’t lady-like to do that. And I just smile. What do men want exactly?

27 dresses

I promise. I won’t turn this blog into a wedding blog. Just trying to “document” my wedding planning experience as well as ask for your opinions especially those who recently planned weddings in Nigeria.

As some of you know, I have 2 bridesmaid duty in August and I am as excited as I am scared. I am helping both of them plan. My head is spinning already. Whew. Drew up a budget template in one night (I know right, templates plenty online; just didn’t find one that covered the full Nigerian wedding). Anywayz, that has been sorted. Now bridesmaids dresses, bride’s gown, colours, make-up and all. There is so much to do in so little time. I think I am going to stick to planning mine for a year. That way I get to take my time planning right? And not rushing/having so much to do in a short time. Working on the pre-wedding photoshoot at the moment. Which brings me to my first issue/challenge. I am all of pre-wedding photoshoot, I am just against releasing the pictures before the wedding. You ask so why the photoshoot ba? I dunno o. I just don’t wanna see my picture on any party favour or souvenir. Is that wrong? I am so gonna guard my pictures and his jealously. Except you find individual pictures sha o and photoshop, you aint gonna find a picture of both of us. Till after the wedding.

Issue number 2. How do I tell my mum I got bridesmaid duties. She don already talk say make me and my elder sister no do bridesmaid again. Issue number 3. Cost of dresses. I have spent my last 2 free Saturdays (I do one Saturday on, one Saturday off work) at one wedding or the other. Fortunately no aso-ebis so far. However, my next 3 weddings involve aso-ebi or bridesmaid dresses. The cost is killing yo! Issue 4. Getting the brides to sit down and let us work on these budgets. They seem to think we still have time. Enough issues for one post.

I saw a picture of a bride and her bridesmaids wearing similar gowns (same ivory colour, lacy design and all) on instagram. What happened to nobody wearing white/ivory asides the bride? You are allowed to wear any other colour or mix white/ivory with something else. Be rest assured, you wear white/ivory for my wedding? Don’t worry, the bouncers and MOPOL know what to do. Lol.

I learnt some “new skill” over the weekend. Had 2 weddings (one on both sides of the family) and since I was mum’s driver, I had to attend both. So mums and I did her side’s first. Went to the church and ensured we saw her half brother, step mum and other family members and took of to join pops at his cousin’s own. Church service at that already started so we had to wait till after the service and ensured we were seen. Skill is if you have more than one wedding, get to the church service early and ensure you are SEEN by those who need to know you came. Take off after the service and head to the reception of the other. Ensure also that they SEE you. I grew up believing the solution was to split. Mums goes for one, pops goes for one. But if the weddings are in the same state/area, just show face and ensure the important people see you o.

Later went to pick a friend at another wedding and heard how some friend of the groom proposed to his girlfriend (with the help of the compere). If you try that at mine ehn?

Now to my polls.

*sigh oh sigh* Who else thinks what I am thinking about Scandal? Jake-Olivia-Fitz angle. Your thoughts please.

I should be watching the Manchester Derby right? Alrighty, am out. Maybe I can catch the last few minutes.

Tada