This is a topic I have for a while wanted to blog about but never felt the time was right.
So I was on nairaland earlier and saw a post of this topic and pronto I knew I had to blog about it.
What happens when love dies. When that man/woman you used to love, you no longer love. When you “suddenly” don’t love that person. When all you do is maybe care for that person but LOVE? Heck no. The feeling is no longer there. Maybe you start to snap at the person. Seeing him/her starts to at times irritate you. Other things start to take the place of that loved one. What do you do?
I would share some replies to the original nairaland post. Replies I totally agree with. For a while you would notice I have been blogging about love and things that have to do with love. I am at a stage whereby I have started seeing “this love thing” as some people call it in a different light. My “love struck” point of view is kinda jaded. Am just an incurable sucker for love. And events in recent times have made me realize that head knowledge and reality are very different (I would talk about these events sometimes soon). You would also notice in most of my posts that I always talk about nurturing love; ensuring that the love you have for your father/mother/brother/sister/boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/fiancee/husband/wife/friend doesn’t die. Love is all about nuturing.
Anyways back to the comments. The post was
“When u don’t feel like loving ur wife anymore, nothing she does pleases u, u even tell her to her face that she can’t arouse u,that u determine when to be excited,u love chatting on ur bb more than u love talking to her, u prefer reading NL comments n laughing hysterically alone instead of chatting with her, she tries all she can to please u,yet u can’t be pleased,her very presence irritates u even when she’s done nothing wrong…..what next? Meanwhile u r supposed to be wedding in church in less than 3months,do u call off d wedding or simply go back to d court where u were wedded n annul it? Or just continue to hope dt u will eventually change ur attitude towards her n love her again d way u used to? Sincere advice needed pls!”
I can completely relate with this poster.
My advise first and foremost would be “find out what it was about him/her that made you love the person in the first instance. What was it he/she did? What was it about him/her that you love(d)? Secondly, if it has progressed to the point both parties are planning on getting married (engaged, date fixed, wedding in a few months), please see a counsellor. Get an older couple you both trust and talk to them. Hold nothing back.
Someone made this comment which I would love to share.
Hey, you do need to be very honest with yourself by asking yourself some essential questions like; what went wrong between this woman & I, If I was in this woman shoes, how would I feel among others.
Let’s learn to treat women with some measures of dignity and respect. Assuming She is your daughter, would you be happy if a man throws her out of his house the way you are planning to annul your union with your woman?
I can feel that you are already seeing another woman behind the scene but I’d advice that you let go of that jezebel and get back to your wife.
Get back to those things that bonded you two together, avoiding things that separates you and if there’s anything She is done/doing wrong (or unpleasant to you), correct her in a loving way.
We can begin to make our marriages to work by showing sincere love and affection to our partners.
I agree with the bolded part. I dunno about the Jezebel part though from experience I have discovered that is the first assumption when a guy breaks up/stops loving a woman. The first question the woman is asked is “is/was there another woman”?
Those things u mentioned have taken the place of ur wife in ur heart..what u need do is to simply reverse the order….stop doing those thing, or reduce the rate and spend more time with ur wife.
Love dies when it is not nurtured or watered….nurture/water it and u will see it resurrecting!
We all know how to water love…its simple!
And yet another
When love dies…it doesn’t really die. Feed yourself more with what made you fall in love at first(Company,Communication & Committment),and love will come alive.
I disagree with those who think once love dies, it dies, nothing can be done. However, I do realize that that might be true in some cases. At such times, especially if no wedding has taken place, please please and please, break it off. It is better a broken engagement than a broken marriage. If you are married though, I say pray about it and let God lead the way. Marriage takes more than love.