Category Archives: Uncategorized

5 Shades of Randoms

  1. So I am this close to having a friend never talk to me again (well maybe for a while) because…… I will be missing her wedding. And I was warned in advance. After I missed another Uni friend’s wedding two years ago. No bi my fault. I had to pull outta helping her plan and being on a train when it was obvious I won’t be able to get days off twice in a month and me there thinking “ok, I will go to Ib on Saturday morning”. Well as we don enter critical phase of the job am on, I practically had to “apply” to take 3 days off from my vacation for my sisi’s wedding. And I keep hearing “ah Debola, you want to abandon me at the critical moment”; “can we renegotiate your days off?” “Debola, I am drowning in work o” and am just giving my boss my bitch resting face. Wowzers!!!!! Anyways I am wondering when is the right time to tell her I won’t be coming. So I can get the silent treatment as soon as possible. Shoulda tell her in advance I won’t be making the wedding i.e. tell her today/ tomorrow or buzz her on Saturday morning to tell her (bad idea right)? Or just wait till after the wedding say in like 2 weeks to apologize?
  2. It is a few days to my sisi’s wedding #gunsblazing #readytoparty. And for the first time, I plan a wedding all the way. No more planning bits and pieces of a wedding i.e. draw budget, get some vendors, sort out bridal train ish. Feels good but mehn I am running on reserve now – planning a wedding with my 8 – 5 or is it 8 – 9 these days e no easy. And I have had 2 people tell me in the last few weeks to quit my job and just face planning parties. What do ya think?
  3. Hmmm, this my current engagement ehn…. Anyways, thanks to the job I can tick Rivers State (Port-Harcourt precisely) off the list of states to visit in Nigeria. Had a lovely stay. Didn’t go out – thanks to the many “ma jade o” – don’t go out o, so they don’t kidnap you. Like they will see all the Oil & Gas workers and Bankers and the Jidenna complexion type of people and it is now me they will kidnap. Tah!!!. It was fun sha. Trying to sneak myself into a job to start in PH soon. Tayad of this Lagos life me thinks. The “hotel” I stayed def had some place they raise snail. Gosh!!! Give me plantain and snail sauce and they bring 6 pieces of plantain and 6 big pieces of snail. I am just staring at the snails like kilode??
  4. My hair journey. Excited much at the progress I have made so far. I have actually done more braids in the last 7 months than fixing and it is just like magic. Like my hair doesn’t break. Anddddd wait for it…. I dyed my whole head and my hair aint falling off.
  5. Any more gists? Ok bestie 1 of 2 got engaged during the time I have been off. So my first trip to the East is so so not far anymore. And my george wearing days are about to begin. Hehehe

Yeah tis that #wedding phase of one’s life when you have to attend weddings left, right and centre. I shall enjoy it!!!!

Haha, I see November.

Enjoy your night peoples!!!!

Dear husband

Dear husband, please get Timi Dakolo to perform Iyawo Mi for our first dance.
While you are at it, get Obiwon to perform Obi Mu.
I mean I want both of them live.
No DJ, no band forming they can sing better than Timi or Obiwon.

Thank you.

Frankly I did not intend to post but for the last few days I go to bed with Iyawo Mi playing in my head and then I remember how I used to love Obi Mu.

Maybe the many weddings I have in the next 3 months have me all emosh.

Sat here at the gas station trying to get fuel with both songs on repeat. Not my fault.

Happy new year people. Hopefully I won’t be away for so long again


Eye of the tiger….

Absolutely random title. But as I am sat here listening to  Katy Perry’s Roar.. I never used to be a fan but for some reason, this song sits well with me. And her antics in the making of the video? Hilarious.

Anyways, 39 days gone of 100 days and I don’t have much updates.

1. Watched 3 out of 4 movies I planned to watch. So Expendables, Lucy and God’s not dead (amazing movie)

2. Initiated the process of hooking up with an old friend. He called out of the blues. Like he knew I had a “bucket list”. Lol

3. Started my Shakespeare reading. Not finished even 1 book sha

4. Learnt only 1 new word. *sigh*. And guess the word – flapdoodle. *smh*

5. Ha ha, blind date. I apparently don’t have friends willing to hook me up. Except 1 who started the convo and “bailed”

6. Def not started reading for my exam

7. And everything else is on 0%. Not even initiated yet sef. That bad

Hope the next 61 days will be better.

I am a bit (ok, I lie). I am very much an old soul. I wish a lot of times I was born in the 50s/60s. Don’t ask me why, cuz me sef I don’t know. So I always “collect” songs from way back (if songs written even in the 90s count). Hence I do love to watch a lot of music shows. The Voice being number 1. And the end of every show means I am downloading songs…. Which kain life be this? So this is the song for the week

Oh and I as I have been carrying last on Sam Smith, I am doing the needful. How come nobody ever told me?

In other news, Scandal is berk!!!! Olivia is BACK!! Excited much….

Busy week and month ahead… So I won’t be on here much… Don’t miss me…

Funniest quote I have seen in a while..

When your ex texts you after months “Hey, what’s up”… Not today Satan, not today





Getting to that point where….

To take a decision: career/job/ambition versus family.

It is hard being a woman. Now I am going to rant a bit. Please forgive me

I had this conversation with a newly married friend. She was kinda asking for advice on what to do. It is a question/decision I have been quizzed about in the past. However, it always came from unmarried friends. Now someone who is in the “situation” is asking. I was going to give the usual answer I would give. And then it occurred to me:

  1. She sure has thought about all of that
  2. She really does know where it pinches so the usual answer won’t work

So we spent the rest of the conversation trying to weigh different options.

Now I grew up (as am sure most people did) with mothers who weren’t overtly ambitious. They believe(d) in a woman’s place being in the house and as such, well the plan wasn’t to make so much more or be the oga madam at work or something. Most women were content with having a job that allowed them time for their children.

Not so these days. We have women out early and back late at night. Boardroom warriors. On the road, on the move women. Now the big question. How do you juggle being the woman at home and not sacrificing your career/job/ambition. I know and I can tell stories of friends/aunties who took the no job, stay at home route. I also know of those who took maybe a pay cut, another job or took time out at some point and are back in the corporate world and gradually climbing the ladder at a time some might consider late (after all if they stayed on, they might have risen faster). I know of those who decided to run their own businesses just so they can have that additional time it affords to be with their family. I know of those whose husbands at some point had to ask them to leave their jobs and start a business/stay home when for weeks on end they don’t even see. I also know someone who confessed that at a point (in the being a career woman ish), she was “meeting” her husband at the airport in all sorts of countries – she arrives at a country to depart for another and her husband is doing same. She had to decide at that point what had to go.

A question my friend asked (which I have asked wella), how do you be the wife and mother and still be ambitious without the feeling that being the wife and mother has hindered your progress? Like I have plans. I know what and where I want to be in the next 5 – 10 years. I still wanna do my MBA (yes MSc aint enough). I know where I want to be position/grade wise. However, won’t being a wife and mother hinder that? For instance, I am doing my MBA, I have 2 kids and am working an 8am – 5pm job. How do you marry that? How do you cope?

I recall a conversation with some managers at work (guys) and one tells the others how women perform better at interviews and all. They all agreed during interviews, women did better than their male counterparts. Then one goes “but when they get in, within 2 years, they talk about getting married. Next comes, I am leaving the job – it is too stressful. Or I am relocating. Or they ask for time and time and more time away from the job”. He said that that point he begins to wish men did better. At least he won’t have the issues as above. Another who met his wife within the firm concurred. She had to leave the firm because it was getting stressful being a wife and a career woman. She left paid employment completely, had her kids, stayed a few more years (but attended courses and did exams) and is back working. However, she is getting delusional. Feels she had been out too long and isn’t getting the right job/position to match her qualifications and experience.

That is my (and my friend’s fear). I fear getting to the point where I am mad (at myself or someone else) because I feel I sacrificed job/career/ambition for my family. We can argue family comes first (in the scheme of things, I will choose my family over ambition/job/career) but especially for restless souls like me, for people who thirst and thrive working in the corporate world, who live for working in the organizations, what do you do? I would hate to be the woman grumbling and unhappy with where she is career wise in 10 years.

My friend talks about not having too much time to even cook during the week. When you constantly get home at 9pm/10pm. Once again we analyzed. Ok, what if you cook over the weekend. That leaves you with:

  1. Not eating fresh meals. Microwave and PHCN/Gen must always work/light must always dey
  2. Eating the same meals – rice, swallow or something. Or if you try to spice it up, you make boli in the oven and eat with the efo you made on Saturday right? So what happens to those recipes you saw on BBC Food, MasterChef, Come dine with me, Food Network e.t.c. You try them out on Saturday/Sunday abi. Let’s not forget you would spend Saturday/Sunday trying to prepare the meals for the next week
  3. Your children grow up eating the rice meals. Full carbs diet. Maybe learn to bake at some summer school. But never get to really practice what they have been taught
  4. And the cycle continues

Or do we add the lack of bonding time with the boo? You are back late, he is back late. You are tired, he is tired. You are trying to put something that won’t take time together so you can put your legs up and sleep. He is trying to even in his tired state, he wants to have sex. All you are thinking of is sleep. Ok sex during weekends right. No talking, no gisting, no gbeborun-ing and all. Then the children come. And you barely talk to each other (asides it is time to buy something, pay school fees, and other occasional small gist). Years after the children are off to school and it is just both of you. With nothing to talk/gist about.

We can argue that feminism has a lot to do with it. After all in the olden days, our mothers were content with staying at home and the men bringing the money. I am not a feminist and I still believe in a woman’s place being at home. However, I don’t think if I was born in the 1800s or so, I would have been content with sitting at home idle. I am restless like that.

It is a win-lose situation innit?

100 days of…. Or 101….

It is my birthday in about a hundred and six days. Yes… it is that time of the year again… I guess everybody knows how I feel about my birthday… So!!!!!

As usual, I do a 30 days ish either posting pictures, things to be grateful for, things I will like to have/own and all. This year, I choose to do a 100 days ish (God helping me).

So what is in my “bucket list” for the next 100 days (starting on the 18th)? Even worse I have been forced to go on vacation before I planned to. And it starts on the 18th….

100 days of just having fun! 100 days of being less rigid, open and more flexible and relaxed! 100 days of conquering my fears! 100 days of letting my hair down

  • By the time the 100 days is up, I will like to have seen at least 4 movies. Nothing’s gonna hold me back – movie partner or not
  • Reconnect with at least 5 old friends and make 2 new friends
  • Learn at least 20 new words
  • Read at least 2 Shakespeare books – top on the list are Macbeth and Merchant of Venice
  • Read Pride and Prejudice again (and maybe Tess of the d’Urbervilles) and re-watch all the BBC adaptations
  • Read a book or 2 on leadership and business. It has been a while I have read any book. Or visited Laterna
  • Finish C.S Lewis’ The Four Loves
  • Start to exercise again
  • Maybe learn to swim
  • Go on a blind date. As my friends will not let me rest on this man matter, maybe I should just allow one of them – the most persistent (as she is even chatting me now sef on this matter – not replying) allow me breathe
  • Overcome my fear of heights and water
  • Study my Bible more and spend more time praying
  • I was going to add “get to level xxx on Candy Crush” here but………….
  • Start to study for my exam (and hopefully register)
  • Do a 100 days fast? Some people will “die” on my behalf
  • Quit doodling. I wish

I would have loved to do a “100 days of no weaves – just me and my hair” BET, emi mi o gbe. My hair never reach that stage

I think I have enough activities to last 100 days right?

With bff 2 moving to Canada and another friend going to school there, my holiday destination seems to be increasing – Fiji Island or Maldives (or maybe both), Cyprus and now Canada. I still reserve the Bahamas for a trip with the man. Hehehe

That said, I did try BBQ and Cravings on Sunday. If you live in the Lekki – Argungi area, and you haven’t tried it, you are on a long thing o. Seriously!!! BBQ and Cravings is opposite House on the Rock. House on the Rock is at the 4th roundabout. Not far from the Conoil Station. Thank me later!!! And send some ribs and gizzard my way.


Official Video is OUT

If you haven’t heard about Mosa, now you know.

Stay Ebola free

What is in a girl’s bag?

I have never had cause to worry when someone wants to check my handbag. Like kini big deal? What is in it that has never been seen right? I have never given much thought to someone looking into my bag. Till today. A colleague dropped her car key with me and nonchalantly, I dropped it in my bag. Fast forward to later in the day. I was at lunch and she needed to move her car. Rather than “disturb” me, she goes to my bag and picks her key. I return from lunch and she tells me she’s picked her key. Three seconds after, I start to “worry” and quickly picked my bag to see what I had in it. The usuals – perfumes, deodorant, lipsticks, lip glosses, biros and pencils, comb, brush, gum, ID card, wallet, hand lotion, hand sanitizer, dental floss, oil control tissue, handkerchief, earpiece, phone charger, pashminas, bank tokens, complimentary card holder and cheque book.

Then I say to myself “you have nothing to fear”. I sat there thinking “when did I get to the worrying when someone looks into my bag” stage? Like it has never happened. Plus when did I start to carry my “whole room” in my bag? Short of seeing panties, bra, tooth paste/brush or dresses in the bag, I can do a sleep over anywhere. And the bag na one small bag. No wonder it always feels heavy. Help please, is this what a typical girl’s bag contains? Pray please, when did I get here?

That said, I have no idea why I feel like a cheat because I use 2 salons. I mean old salon is cheaper, doesn’t fix my hair as good as new salon but I have been using them for so long it just feels awful letting go. And every time I go to old salon, I feel like I am cheating on new salon and vice versa. I try to do a 2 weeks ish. So fix at both every month but it is becoming a chore and weighing on my conscience. Someone please help!!! How do ladies/guys cheat on their partners? It is so hard…..

Why do people always assume a girl has what she has because a man is funding it? I really don’t get it. I can’t buy stuff myself or what?

I am every inch an impulsive buyer – especially when it comes to cupcakes and shoes. I mean there is no better way to say sorry, I love you, whatever you wanna say than sending cupcakes. The kind of life cupcakes give me ehn. Even me I cannot explain. I am sat at work now and seriously craving cupcakes. I think my cupcakes person is out of town. I hope she is able to hook me up with something sha. I only do cupcakes from one person, though though I hear there is a new place (in Victoria Island) that their cupcakes is heaven. I should try them right? Ha ha, I should try BBQ and Cravings too. Anybody been there? Reviews please.

Shoes… where do I start? Before the thing becomes an idol in my life, I have decided to start to give out shoes. Abi? What do ya think?

The Expendables 3 is out. And there is no Chuck Norris or Bruce Willis…. I don’t get. God is watching Sylvester Stallone in 3D. I remember seeing 2 with my cousin and less than half way through, she had dozed off in the cinema. Maybe doze off is a mild word. She was actually really sleeping. *smh*. Time to find a proper cinema partner.

All is well in the world again. Football season is BACK!!!!

Anyways good people, have a lovely weekend before I continue ranting….

N.B: Birthday countdown begins end of the month. Hint hint, there should be a give-away in November, God willing. So brace yourself!!!! *winks*



10 years on

This day 10 years ago (don’t feel like 10 years at all), I left/graduated/passed out of Secondary School. It is freaking surreal. Like I can’t believe I have been out of Secondary School 10 years. I think about my “dreams” and what I planned to do within the 10 years. Yes, I had the 10 year plan post-Secondary School and another 10 years post University plan. Tracking my life since then, I am about 90% done with my post-Secondary School plan. Commendable yeah.

I believe my ex-classmates had a reunion on Saturday 5th. It woulda been great seeing people again all in one room. Asides the occasional running into ex-classmates at the supermarket, mall, at work, airports. Oh well….

Today however, I choose to not only remember the good, the bad, the ugly, the times I cried, the times I laughed, those who made my stay the best, those who peppered me (I forgive you). I choose to remember 2 people who my Secondary School story won’t be complete without.

A. We were classmates all of Primary School and Secondary School. Primary School and the first half of Secondary School because her surname came before mine (my first name is also a letter more than hers). So we were stuck in the same class. I stumbled on one of our Primary School Valedictory service picture and we were sitting next to each other (I guess we were “arranged” based on our last names). Second half of Secondary School, we had no reason to be classmates. The determining factor to be in my class was the choice of Technical Drawing in addition to Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Further Maths. Anybody not offering that subject (at all) was placed in another class. However, E.A had other ideas. We were 3 girls offering all 5 subjects. With over 30 guys. I guess E.A felt the need to add some more girls and gave us 6 more – 3 offering Agriculture and 3 offering Food and Nuts (as we called it).

A, my classmate till ovarian cancer took her away. A, the one who made me ever google the word “cancer”. A, the one battled cancer and won. She might have lost the battle physically BUT her experience opened the eyes of many.

We took ill about the same time (3rd term SS2 – exam period) and while I missed a few exams and returned to school, she never came back. Battled it, broke all myths – oh ovarian cancer affects older women. She was but 16. Oh ovarian cancer befell promiscuous women – she was a virgin. And the list goes on. She knew she was gonna die. Yet every single exam we had in SS3, she took. Her birthday was the 20th of June. She did say if she survived past her birthday, she was going to live. She died on the 4th, a few days after we wrote our last SSCE paper, almost a year after she was diagnosed. She knew she would die that day. A, forever in our hearts.

I choose to remember Y. We became quite close JSS2 and stayed on friends till the very end. He was loud. Really loud and could be annoying. I typically stay away from loud people. I can count how many loud friends I had and we are not close. Yet somehow, we managed to be friends. He would usually give me boarder boys’ gist and I kinda always knew who next was going to be on my case through him (even if he never said it explicitly, it kinda always slipped). It was Y who took it upon himself to save me “the shame of going to Grad Class Dinner dateless”. The moment it was obvious to all I wasn’t going with O, he was number 1 out of 12 who approached me. And the remaining 11? I knew they were coming to ask before they did. I however shenked (is that even the spelling?) him and went with someone else.

He ended up going dateless YET he remained friends. Secondary School over. Our only means of communication was Yahoo messenger. I was in Nigeria. He was in the UK and later US. 19 short months after, he was no more. We still chatted February 12 and promised to meet again on the 15th. Headed to the cybercafé on 15th, 2 hours after agreed time with no response, I was about logging out when a close friend who was also in US sent a message. Y was no more. He was last seen outside on the 12th. By 14th when his flat mates hadn’t seen him leave his apartment for 2 days, they broke in. Met his lifeless body. No one knows what happened (as a Muslim he was buried immediately). I had the unfortunate task of breaking the news to other friends.

He was the joker. The one who would make you laugh no matter what. I still imagine he would come out one day and say he was pranking us. Y, my loud friend, I choose to remember you today and always – 8 years on.

I choose to remember friends who have stayed friends for at least 10 years. Some, more than 10. T, Ik and If for more than 20 years. You guys rock. O (16 years), E, O, S (the only guy in the team) and W (10 years) aint no joke. They say 20 friends cannot be friends for 20 years. True, so maybe that is why my “clique” is smaller. We might not see or chat as often as we used to. But I remember you all every day.

On to the next 10 years…. God willing….


The journey continues

So 4 months post last relaxing and 6 months of using oils and the likes, this is how far we – my hair and I have come. Like I said in my last hair post, it hasn’t been easy and def not growing as fast as I want to but I thought I needed to share some pictures to encourage someone. I am sure if I dig through post from last year or the year before, I would find pictures of my hair length (after I last cut it) and you can compare with now.

20140516_235144 20140516_234631 20140516_233834

More importantly, things I have learnt that have helped me:

1. Know your hair type

2. What works for one person would most likely not work for you. Hence the need to start small. I started with just ori (shea butter) and castor oil (and an oil mixture – almond, olive and the likes). I added henna at some point. Now I have included ACV (apple cider vinegar) and only last week bought peppermint oil. It can be argued that just maybe if I followed the blogs’ recipes, maybe I would have added an inch or 2 monthly hence about 6-12 inches now. BUT. At the same time, I can argue the other way

3. If you are using henna, ensure you don’t mix until you are ready to apply. If the colour changes so much from the usual green to like dried leaf green, please don’t use. Also I think shea moisture conditioner is a very good conditioner to use and also to mix when henna when you want to use it

4. For those of us that like weaves, ensure you moisture or oil your hair in the mornings. Don’t for any reason add oils your hair at night. This destroys the weaves, makes it look limp and just generally looks horrid. I for a while always wondered why after a few days (I usually don’t oil by scalp within the first week of fixing), my weaves look funny and limp. I guessed that could be the reason but never confirmed. Tested the theory and it is so true. If you oil before sleeping, it seeps into the weave (as your head is to the pillow or bed as the case maybe). Oiling in the morning however gives the opportunity for it to enter well well without affecting your weave

5. Castor Oil surely works

What else… as things progress I shall be updating ya…

Happy Fathers’ Day to the fathers, to-be fathers, fathers in waiting (lol) and the usually forgotten ones – single fathers. Year in, year out, single mothers get prayed for and all the works yet seems everybody forgets that there are some fathers raising their children ALONE either because mum is gone or dead. I am wowed when I hear stories such as a man raising 4 children – sons (triplets + an elder brother) alone. Never remarried. Just dedicated to raising godly young men. Anyways, Happy Fathers’ Day.

With Suits back and 24….. My weekends just got busy…..

Do have a great week ya’all



Started from no front hair.. now we here… baby steps

I started this post exactly a week and a day ago. I thought of writing this post exactly 3 weeks ago…  I hope I finally get to finish it today

I promised to blog about my hair journey earlier this year and never got round to it. So somehow, this would be the first in hopefully a monthly update. So help me God.

I have like I said in an old post never really had front hair. Like it was there but it wasn’t long, wasn’t healthy, just wasn’t it. Add the fact that my hairline is very fragile and as such I can’t do cornrows, ghana weaving or braids and keep for long. Max 4 weeks for braids. Yet still, I managed to retain my front hair through braids (maybe because I never let it stay long and as soon as I felt it was pulling my hair, I took the front out). Anyways, until till disastrous braids about mid-July, 2012. I took out the braids in September 2012 (na me find trouble abi… but 60 quid wasn’t just going to waste like that na, I had to get value for it). Well the result was this…..







Fast forward to December 2013. After spending eons on hair blog sites and almost 20k less in my account, I decided to grow the hair sha and sha.

The journey has been for lack of words… Long and at times frustrating. Like I can see a difference. Just not growing as fast as I thought it would. As I have always said, I aint for general hair length as I am for frontal hair + thick hair. Thicker hair now I have.. Front hair… We still on it…









God dey sha… One day, one day I shall whip my hair back and forth.. 2 things though. I coloured my hair since January last year and the colour no wan go again o. Still as it is the day I first coloured. Two, too many white strands beginning to show…

That said, I think I am gaining my weight back… Yayyy. At least enough weight to keep people from talking…..

I am thinking of writing a book on men… Titles please? I mean, I really should write a book since I have the “misfortune” of at least meeting one silly guy every 3-4 months… Seems I have heard isn’t enough these days. Until you literally shout and insult some guys, dem no dey hear word. Details would come in another post…

I betcha this post is about you… don’t you don’t you…. Some people would read this post and most likely subsequent ones and think I am writing about them. If that ever happens, then just maybe it is about you… *evil laugh* Na joke o

I seriously don’t know what Diddy or P.Diddy or Puff Daddy or what does he go by now is doing in this video…

In other news, Ms. Pope don born o. I love she is able to keep her private life… private. Now they can go back to shooting Scandal ba? Don’t keep me waiting Kerry.

Have a lovely evening people….



I never see….

I have seen and heard orisirisi but nothing prepared me for these ish:

I hear the madam did a cover for Drunk in Love too.

And these had me awwww-ing:

Pharrell’s hat though… Vampire tinz

Nigerians have taken pre-wedding shoot to another level o.. Abi which one is wedding shoot inside pool. I personally think it is overrated.

Scandal oh scandal. Kerry just had to get pg ba? And talking about pregnancy. Am I the only one who gets “scared” at times of getting pregnant? I think would I be the spitting type? God forbid. Or the throwing up type? Or the lazy one? I see a lot of pg women these days and it is just worrying the way they look….. *sigh*

The strife is over. Song that came to mind since last Monday and has been on my mind since then. Maybe it is because of the season… Maybe it is something else I dunno. But I am glad whatever it is, it is over….

And if you haven’t read this post and the others on the topic, you are on a long tin…

When would people learn that if you retire, and the “un-retire”, you would likely fall into disgrace