Category Archives: Life

The Illogical GOD

I was at Digging Deep yesterday and a visiting Pastor led the service. While he was teaching on devotion and being planted in the house of God, he spoke about how his mother met Christ before she had him (she was his father’s second wife) and decided to restitute i.e. leave her husband. This led to his father abandoning them and they had to live in stores and stuff for a while i.e. they were so poor, they couldn’t afford N30 to pay for an accommodation. But still, with all the hardship, they were always found in church. Not even torn clothes prevented them from serving God. Long story short, by age 6, he was already preaching. By JSS 3, he had built a house for his mother to leave. And logical me screamed HOW?

Service ends and I realized a few of us had questions. So the person who invited him plays a video of the Pastor truly in his teens preaching in the UK and goes on to explain how God blessed him as a child through people he ministered to – people sponsoring his trips to the UK (he attended the local parish of a big church in the East and he became quite popular) and giving him money which obviously because he really had no use for the money, he built his mother a house. I got home and completely forgot this. The only thing that I remembered thinking about before sleeping was how God honours those who honour Him.

Woke up this morning and as I was brushing my teeth, last night came to mind again and how I screamed how inside me. And I was reminded of Uncle Thomas who needed evidence before he believed Jesus really was ALIVE. I also needed evidence because in my mind, I’m like Pastor, you cannot be lying but still this makes absolutely NO SENSE. And God reminded me of the many Hows people have asked and how truly and indeed, He uses seemingly foolish things to confound we who think we are wise.

How do you explain a 66 or is it 68 year old woman who delivers? Even if IVF. Do we forget the many IVFs people did, yet died without having children? How do we explain a 51 year old woman who gets married at 50 and got pregnant naturally? And many more… HOW?

As I thought about it, I remembered some instances in the Bible where people asked How and God’s reaction (He will always have mercy on whom He would).

Genesis 18:12 So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?”  Yet God ignored her and went ahead to do what He would do, with no consequences for her.

Luke 1:18 – Zechariah said to the angel, “What proof is there for this? I’m an old man, and my wife is beyond her childbearing years.” And he was made dumb

Luke 1:34 – Mary asked the angel, “How can this be? I’m a virgin.” No consequences

John 20:29: Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen (heard, seen evidence, touched etc.)* me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

I asked and still asking myself:

–  Was there a way Mary asked how that was different from Sarah and Zechariah? Or was it the “level of doubts” that was different?

– How do we ask the question HOW without doubting? If that makes sense

– We were created as logical beings. How do we drop logic in the face of the many false prophets and pastors around? Normal human instinct is to rationalize, think, run it by logic. As Christians, how do we do this without doubting? Then I remember we have the Holy Spirit to teach us all things. We were enjoined to be like the Berean Christians. So why do we have a lot of the extremes? Those who don’t think at all and just follow what pastors say and those who run everything by logic.

I don’t have the answers… Maybe someone here would.

The ways of our God defiles all forms, types, shades etc. of logic… No matter what we think or believe we know. On our own, we cannot comprehend.

Note: Words asterisked – my addition!!!

Bestest Month of the Year

Yipeeeesssss. It is that month of the year again!!!!

I guess by now everybody knows how I get excited once it is November. So indulge me.

Before I continue, happy birthday in advance to my November sisters – Angelsbeauty and Tee. May God continue to bless and keep you. May His face continue to shine on you. Many many many more years in the land of the living. Your husbands shall delight in you always :). And your children shall arise and call you blessed (yes storing in advance). Do have as much fun as you can on the 16th and 18th.

So…. In about 23 days, I will be a few… ok three years short of 30 and I spent most of the weekend thinking about my pre-30 plans. What I had planned to achieve and where I am at the moment – career, family and all and I find myself not even up to 50%. So I have decided things mustu change this coming year. Starting with yearly holidays, getting a double next year, plans are already shaping up. Scratch any exam. Money saved from now on is going into – holiday, business and investments. When the returns start to roll in, we do that MBA we have been planning for. Mehn I have been living a very boring life. Time to get this babe rolling.

I usually woulda done a say 30 days put up a new pic on BBM or like last year do a Tuesday Tuesday post. Bet mehn this year… I think I am getting too old for all that.

Moving on. Since Mr. SF has found this blog, I def aint resting again. 26 views in one day? Sure you thought I won’t know. *smh*. This is your shout out.

Hmmmmm, hair stories. Did this Ghana weaving (I don’t learn right?) that has damaged the small hair we are trying to grow. Got tired of fixing and thought I should have a new look. Well, the result was bad but not so bad sha. Thank God. Now I am seriously considering doing wigs. I need my hair to breathe. That said, a certain mamacita aka sexy mama aka JA owes me wigs right? You know yourself…. God is seriously watching you

Something about this season and weddings. Can’t wait to put on my dancing shoes and rock ’em parties. Some pre-birthday weekend turnup!!!!!

Btw, I think I am the only one that still watches #Scandal.

Tada

xoxo

10 years on

This day 10 years ago (don’t feel like 10 years at all), I left/graduated/passed out of Secondary School. It is freaking surreal. Like I can’t believe I have been out of Secondary School 10 years. I think about my “dreams” and what I planned to do within the 10 years. Yes, I had the 10 year plan post-Secondary School and another 10 years post University plan. Tracking my life since then, I am about 90% done with my post-Secondary School plan. Commendable yeah.

I believe my ex-classmates had a reunion on Saturday 5th. It woulda been great seeing people again all in one room. Asides the occasional running into ex-classmates at the supermarket, mall, at work, airports. Oh well….

Today however, I choose to not only remember the good, the bad, the ugly, the times I cried, the times I laughed, those who made my stay the best, those who peppered me (I forgive you). I choose to remember 2 people who my Secondary School story won’t be complete without.

A. We were classmates all of Primary School and Secondary School. Primary School and the first half of Secondary School because her surname came before mine (my first name is also a letter more than hers). So we were stuck in the same class. I stumbled on one of our Primary School Valedictory service picture and we were sitting next to each other (I guess we were “arranged” based on our last names). Second half of Secondary School, we had no reason to be classmates. The determining factor to be in my class was the choice of Technical Drawing in addition to Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Further Maths. Anybody not offering that subject (at all) was placed in another class. However, E.A had other ideas. We were 3 girls offering all 5 subjects. With over 30 guys. I guess E.A felt the need to add some more girls and gave us 6 more – 3 offering Agriculture and 3 offering Food and Nuts (as we called it).

A, my classmate till ovarian cancer took her away. A, the one who made me ever google the word “cancer”. A, the one battled cancer and won. She might have lost the battle physically BUT her experience opened the eyes of many.

We took ill about the same time (3rd term SS2 – exam period) and while I missed a few exams and returned to school, she never came back. Battled it, broke all myths – oh ovarian cancer affects older women. She was but 16. Oh ovarian cancer befell promiscuous women – she was a virgin. And the list goes on. She knew she was gonna die. Yet every single exam we had in SS3, she took. Her birthday was the 20th of June. She did say if she survived past her birthday, she was going to live. She died on the 4th, a few days after we wrote our last SSCE paper, almost a year after she was diagnosed. She knew she would die that day. A, forever in our hearts.

I choose to remember Y. We became quite close JSS2 and stayed on friends till the very end. He was loud. Really loud and could be annoying. I typically stay away from loud people. I can count how many loud friends I had and we are not close. Yet somehow, we managed to be friends. He would usually give me boarder boys’ gist and I kinda always knew who next was going to be on my case through him (even if he never said it explicitly, it kinda always slipped). It was Y who took it upon himself to save me “the shame of going to Grad Class Dinner dateless”. The moment it was obvious to all I wasn’t going with O, he was number 1 out of 12 who approached me. And the remaining 11? I knew they were coming to ask before they did. I however shenked (is that even the spelling?) him and went with someone else.

He ended up going dateless YET he remained friends. Secondary School over. Our only means of communication was Yahoo messenger. I was in Nigeria. He was in the UK and later US. 19 short months after, he was no more. We still chatted February 12 and promised to meet again on the 15th. Headed to the cybercafé on 15th, 2 hours after agreed time with no response, I was about logging out when a close friend who was also in US sent a message. Y was no more. He was last seen outside on the 12th. By 14th when his flat mates hadn’t seen him leave his apartment for 2 days, they broke in. Met his lifeless body. No one knows what happened (as a Muslim he was buried immediately). I had the unfortunate task of breaking the news to other friends.

He was the joker. The one who would make you laugh no matter what. I still imagine he would come out one day and say he was pranking us. Y, my loud friend, I choose to remember you today and always – 8 years on.

I choose to remember friends who have stayed friends for at least 10 years. Some, more than 10. T, Ik and If for more than 20 years. You guys rock. O (16 years), E, O, S (the only guy in the team) and W (10 years) aint no joke. They say 20 friends cannot be friends for 20 years. True, so maybe that is why my “clique” is smaller. We might not see or chat as often as we used to. But I remember you all every day.

On to the next 10 years…. God willing….

 

The boy in the rain

You could see the joy. Visible. The happiness. The eagerness to get to school on his face. Roughly 7. Maybe 8 years old. Riding his bicycle. Maybe it is a new one. Who knows? Carefully. Without worry. For him life is beautiful. It is Monday. A new week, new day, back at school. As he carefully went over the speed bumps by the toll gate. Out. Back on the express way. Staying clear of cars and buses. It seemed all is well in his world. Except he is riding to school. In the rain. With no safety gear. No rain coat. No guardian or parent to accompany him to school. In his school uniform, white socks and brown sandals. Back pack properly strapped. He journeyed on.

In the rain. My heart cut. Here is a young boy. Dangers all around. Yet he seemed oblivious to all. Trying to make his way to school. Here is a young boy. Whose parents might have saved to get him a bicycle and pay his fees. Here is a young boy who would become a man soon. A future leader (as we like to say). As I drove on in traffic watching this boy, keeping so far from cars, my heart cut. I couldn’t help but think of the many dangers he faces everyday getting to school. Cars, buses, okadas, soliders and policemen who seem not to know you turn your gun face down, Julius Berger and the Hitech trailers. Even worse, on days like this… the rain. The fact that in a bid to get an education, this young boy stood the risk of coming down with a cold. Maybe pneumonia.

I thought about a lot of things. Poverty in our land. The uncertainties. Crisis. I thought about my children. The kind of life I want them to live. Do I want them to live in Nigeria I wondered. I thought about the future. I am scared. Which way Nigeria I asked.

I thought about my childhood. The privileged life. Been dropped and picked up from school every day among others. Here was a boy (and many many many others) who might never experience that kind of life. The good life we call it. I felt sad.

More than 12 hours later, I still remember this little boy. Teary eyed, I watched on till he got out of sight, a boy who despite the challenges, he was all so eager to get to school; Looking on cheerfully as he rode. Not gonna forget him in a hurry. Tears still well up even as I type. Pity, sadness and joy. Sadness at what can befall this dude at anytime. I remember the Chibok girls. Sorrow at the kind of pain and challenges he has to live through at this age. Joy at the fact that he wants to get educated. You should see his eyes. Carefree and definitely happy to be on his way to school.

The boy in the pink checkered shirt and green shorts.

I heard this song some weeks back and just never paid attention to it. Till I heard it again at TT & BT’s wedding on Saturday. Somebody help me. It has been on replay since Saturday. Number 1 jam at the moment. Shout out to TT & BT (TT when you get to read this – I know you would). Lovely gown you wore. I am a sucker for simple yet elegant wedding gowns. *le sigh*. And thanks for giving me my new jam. God bless your union.

Couldn’t find the official video. I guess this would do

After all you sought me out….

I heard a story of a woman (Mrs. A) a while back who got into an argument with her husband and dear husband in the course of the fight made the statement “after all you sought me out”. Let’s break it down. As a single woman, Mrs. A saw a guy she liked and made the first move. Get his details and contacts him. After a while they get talking, one thing leads to another and they get married. Years on, husband decides to remind her no bi him do the chasing (as I would like to call making the first move). We can go on about how nobody forced him to marry her but…..

Now forgive me as this is my opinion. I am a “I want to be properly chased (insert wooed, courted) woman”. I am a “let the man be the man and make the first move” woman. I have been all my life and somehow Mrs. A story just made me all the more that kind of woman. However, I see and hear a lot of women make the first move/contact and am thinking what has this world turned to? Last I checked, it was the man’s job to find abi? So every time I hear someone tell me “if you like him/want him, make the first move, if you wait someone else would take him” yada yana, I just stay there thinking. Oh a lot of times I hear people tell me not to slack and go ahead jere. After all, the world is more liberal. Don’t be a slacker I hear. Mostly feel like pulling the girl’s ears and shouting “let him be the man”. Let’s be clear, I aint saying if you like a man and he likes you form (ok yeah, form a bit but not for too long) But let HIM BLADY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. That’s just me ba?

I recently had a friend buzz me. A former colleague of hers says he wants to get married and needs a decent girl (I seem to be getting that a lot these days). Like a group of friends just sat somewhere and have decided “if she won’t get a man, we would get one for her”. Anywayz, according to my friend “I don’t know why my mind went to you”. Trust me in less than a minute, my emotions ranged from anger to wanting to give her a piece of my mind (as we often say) to just ignoring that statement. She wanted me to “consider him” as he had been on her neck to get him a wife. How does this relate to making the first move? I had asked her to give me till last night cuz frankly though I had my answer I didn’t want to be accused of being too hard or tough or not open minded. She buzzes again last night and from our conversation, she wants me to make the first move. YEPA!!!!! Gist is she tells him about me BUT I contact him. Short of telling her off (which I now wish I did), I have told her not to bother. I am not interested.

I ask, is it now proper for a lady to make the first move? Forgive me, I might still be living in the medieval times so maybe that’s why I am thinking like that. Maybe just maybe I need to be enlightened. Who wants to help me out here? Cuz I would hate to make a move and get burnt sometimes in future.

The post I have been postponing just might never happen. However, I would drop some pictures that are meant to make some people jealous of the fact that I have been having fun and hanging out and having a ball and not living a boring life and ok I give up.

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And yeah it has to do with food. From Bar Campione (who make one of the best sandwiches in Lagos, 3 times the charm) to Coral Blue (first time I went there – last year, it was absolutely fantastic, second time around, not quite – my excuse though, it was quite late at night) to Ice Cream Factory (not even Coldstone can take away my love for you). And haha, Talindo Steak Place – tucked somewhere on Karim Kotun. Better service second time around (and this was also late at night – Monday). Amazing brownie they got. And yeah if you are on instagram, check out Rumnpassion (rumnpassion) and Crème Brulee Lagos (cremebruleelagos). I have tried rumnpassion’s cupcakes…. That rapturous feeling. Haven’t tried cremebrulee yet but I know it is only a matter of time. I have a sweet tooth. Shoot me. It is a miracle I aint fat.

Monday made it 15 years I lost my uncle and yesterday, 9 years I lost the man I called my maternal grandfather (my mum lost her dad many many many years ago so my grandma’s brother became my grandpa) and I just realized no matter how long a loved one has been gone, you can never forget them. The memories stay with you forever.

Have a great weekend people.