Category Archives: Inspiration

Weddings, wickedness and other things

Ok, this post has no head or tail, so ya all should bear with me. And my editors (you know yourselves), feel free to buzz ehn..

Tis wedding season. Yayyest…. I dunno what people mean by wedding season but I am assuming it is the period between March and December as there aint that much weddings in January and February (I think I prefer to wed either in January, April, September or December though; why, I dunno). So the wedding I have been raving about is a week away and am freaking excited. I dunno o. No bi me ku dey wed. I guess maybe because she is the first amongst my friends from Uni getting married. At least we finally have someone to bell the cat.. I dey wait all my childhood friends. Taking their sweet time yeah? I guess the fact that I get to see people I haven’t seen in almost 5 years also adds to the excitement. I know tis gonna be a very busy and stressful day. Engagement, church and reception all on the same day. I hate being stressed yet I am so looking forward to it. Plus I get to launch my fascinator… Waiting patiently for tomorrow (when I get to pick up my fascinator or facilitator as a dear friend called it; I am sowie, I just had to put that up)… Would put up pictures sha…

And like everybody was waiting for L to lead, got a wedding 2 weeks after that (my cousin), another in May and then a break till August… I mustu buy aso-ebi utunu (not like I like them or would do aso-ebi for mine). I am just all so excited yo!!! The sad part though is the when would you marry?, what happened? questions. *sigh*. I was at L’s bridal shower yesterday (twas very lovely, thanks for asking; lol). The highlight? The screaming. Wow, we have all grown. Low point. The what happened questions. Fortunately, nobody asked me anything till it was over. Tried not to feel too sad sha considering what date it was. Well till I got back home and laid on my bed. *sigh*. Moving on.

Why do we delight in being mean to others? To make life hard especially for the less privileged? We have this lovely lady who cleans the office. Mid-March, she is yet to be paid for February. Meanwhile, the company has been paid since 26th February. We later find out that the money was given to her supervisor and she “decided” to keep it with her. Why? Why?? Why??? To think this lady earns less than 20k. Wickedness. Be nice people. BE NICE.

In other news, I made ugwu today. It has been over 5 months I cooked. I miss living alone yo!!!! I miss having someone to cook for. I hope to continue sha… BBC recipes has become my favourite site now. Wish I found egusi and panla to use. Well, next time. By the way, this is strike 2. You know yourself. Food war. Game on!!!!!

Lagos-20130318-03561 Lagos-20130318-03563

Waiting patiently for my hair ish. You know yourself o. Come and enjoy this heat with us. Am I the only one who finds myself drinking as much as 4 bottles of water in a day? For someone who usually never finished even 1 bottle? This weather is killing me. I gas return to my town. Manchester. I am Mancunian you know? *tongue out*. Heat wave wey no get part 2.

Oh and I have finally passed the “I can’t leave my hair undone for more than a week stage”. I never *tears* thought I would *tears* survive *tears* but here I am, *tears* 3 weeks after *tears* and the saloon no longer appeals to me *big smile* … I hope my weaves won’t waste sha. Should make my wigs this weekend. I pray baby sis doesn’t see this. She thinks I am falling her hand and that I am not “positioning” myself. What does she know?

We live in a very small world. The rate at which I meet someone who knows someone I know these days is getting out of hand biko. I fear I might have been rude to one of my boo’s relatives in the past and it would haunt me. Biko, I apologize to those I have been nasty to in the past o. Took only a picture of L and her boo for me to find out a few other friends knew our in-law.

Like I said, this post no get head or tail. Still have a lot more I wanna post about but I should end here. When would all these bombings stop though?

Oya, over to my editors….

Quick one, Adele or Emeli Sande? Who do you prefer?

I have a dream

So I hit 100 posts and I went to sleep yeah? No bi so o. Between work, working on baby sister’s project, watching Scandal (and going to start Suits tonight, I barely even watch my regulars nowadays) and those that keep me awake till early hours the next morning (you know yourselves, 360 degrees side eye), I have had a full 3 weeks. At work 8:30am and might not leave till past 9pm at times, Monday to Saturday. Whew. I have suddenly developed some super woman skills I never knew I had. I have to find time to see friends, chat and all and still sleep in between all of this. And yet I haven’t broken down. You see… I am a super woman.

Back to post. Na, I aint MLK. Just got to work this morning and suddenly remembered one of the songs I sang with my school choir which was an adaptation of his speech. Well, the whole essence of this post sha and sha is that I remembered some songs and I want to share them with you. If you were fortunate to have Mrs. Amorelle Inanga or Joshua Saprong teach you music in school, I doff my hat. If unfortunately neither of them taught you BUT you attended a good school and used their music book, you try small. For those who didn’t have the fortune of being taught by either neither did they use the books or you schooled in Nigeria, I am sorry for you. You can’t be helped. Go back to your secondary school and collect change. I am sure you are one of those who like “your waist” and all the crap being sung in the music industry. Jokes people. Just glad I had a good teacher.

By the way, I hear Iyanaya served garden eggs as small chops for VIPs at his concert yesterday. Ndo o. He is just improvising. Trying to remind ya all tis Lent and as it won’t be proper to do Easter eggs now, he made do with garden eggs. Plus eating garden eggs is healthy na and economical. Compared to frying small chops.

So these three songs just came to mind. And as my dear school celebrates her 50th Anniversary later in the year, I wish somehow, everyone of us that passed through Mrs Inanga can come together and sing some of these songs.

N.B: it is coincidental that two songs talk about slavery, peace and freedom.

I have a dream

I have a dream, for all humanity

That we may know truth and dignity

That peace on earth (peace on the earth)

Becomes reality

And that one day we stand hand in hand, arm in arm

Yes I, I have a dream

A dream for all the people in the world

That peace, peace, hope and God’s freedom shall reign

Yes I, I have a dream

A dream that all nations shall celebrate

And every trace of fear would be gone

And we would join our voices in unity

And sing freedom’s song

This aint the fully song yo…

I can’t remember the title of this song so let’s just call it “Hope”.

Hope

Let my thoughts fly on wings swift and golden

Till they light on those hills so cool and restful

Fanned by breezes more tender and gentle

Than in any other land on the earth

Greet the dear banks of Jordan’s river

Those dark ruins of Zion’s fortress

Oh my homeland now distant forever

In my memory always enshrined land of my birth

Harp of gold, fateful harp of our destiny

On the willow now hanging in silence

In our hearts kindle flames of remembrance

Of the once happy days long before

Or in telling the world of our story

Strike your strings with lament and with weeping

Oh my God send our hearts upward leaping

With a song giving us hope yet once more

With a song giving hope yet once more

With a song giving hope yet once more

Giving hope yet once more.

I remember this song being played when I went to watch Carousel at the Barbican Centre and I was almost in tears. Listening to it with all the instruments and those voices was just…….. 

You’ll never walk alone

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm

There’s a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of the lark
Walk on, through the wind

Walk on, through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone
When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm

There’s a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of the lark
Walk on, through the wind

Walk on, through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your hear

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

She taught me this song too…. Can I be a child again

Nostalgia!!! Need to find my flute and start playing the piano again… *sigh*

Side note: Please read and comment on this blog.

Tada

Showerella and four other things

Whew, 99th post… Drums rolling…..

I promised to do something on showerella. Hopefully this would be one of many ish on young entrepreneurs.

Showerella was born out of a passion to entertain. It was founded by Ike (my girlfriend since 1987, I shall famz) a graduate of Chemistry from University of Sheffield. Showerella is the place where you find exquisite products to create a pre-wedding party to last a life time. You can read more about the story behind showerella on the blog. Starting with perfumes, Showerella has grown to include other products to make a bride-to-be’s day memorable. With the help of her sister and a childhood friend, they have been able to create Scentelier, a ready to go activity box set. The Scentelier perfume making party box set contains all you need to host a stylish perfume party for 10, 15 or 25 guests. It is now available online and would soon hit stores in the UK and US. More activity box sets are in production and would also be hitting stores soon.

You can visit the website showerella, follow on twitter (@showerella), like on facebook and join on pinterest. I have seen and I know how much work is being put into this business and I can assure you it would be worth it. So MOHs, sisters and sisters-in-law to be, bridesmaids, even mothers/mothers-in-law to be, there you go. Treat that friend, sister, daughter to a fabulous bridal shower.

Life is too short for boring parties.

Four other things

Sea/ship themed bridal showers

Not ended on bridal showers. No, just not yet. Saw some pictures of a sea themed bridal shower over the weekend. Lawd, it was gorg. Ladies dressed as sailors. Got me seriously thinking. I want a beach themed bridal shower. Enough of in the house, at a restaurant, bar ish ish bridal showers. Let the bikins out.

Reading

It is amazing that I have a 9-6 job and I still find time to read. While I was home with nothing to do, I found it hard reading the Point Man. I get a “job” and I find time to read a chapter every other day. Updating in a few minutes.

Hustle 

I was about entering into my car yesterday when some dude greets me. I look at him from the side of my eye, answer BUT spent a few seconds sizing him and his car (unfortunately, the part of the car I saw made it look a late 1990s, early 2000s car). And the kind of thoughts that entered my head ehn, I am ashamed. Right after, I heard clearly in my mind, “don’t knock another man’s hustle. Do you know how much he saved to buy the car? Because “wan gbe moto si e nidi” (dem dash you car for house), you are disrespecting others”. I wanted to cry. Just entered the car jeje and drove off. Only to see it was a 2008-10 thereabout Avalon  (I saw the car from my side na). I spent the journey home thinking about how easy it is for one to knock another man’s hustle especially when you have had things easy. The “curse” of having a car to drive. Now am beginning to look at people based on the car they drive (I seriously still feel bad about what happened and the kind of silly thoughts). I was seriously reprimanded in my spirit. It was a “na because you get moto you dey look down on another, moto wey no be your own” kinda ish. Funny I have never thought or looked down on another based on the car he/she drives. Where that silly thought came from yesterday I dunno.

All bark no bite

I can no longer bite. You may not understand. I am one of those who when things aint going their way, I could easily lose it. Throw tantrums, sulk, I am just a drama queen. Selfish I know. Working on it biko. I do all I can to get things done my way. When something bad/wrong happens, I can also quickly lose it. I kinda bully people. However, in the last 2-3 months I have been somehow subdued. Like things happen I could easily go over the edge and I am just calm. Seriously calm. Like a friend said recently about an issue, “I am surprised at your response. The person I know would have…..”. My iPhone fell into water at the salon while getting my nails done. Old me would have flipped. I actually just picked the phone, tried draining the water and dropped it in my bag. Everybody kept saying aunty sorry and me I was just smiling. I just had this “what can I do” feeling, it has happened, it has happened, you can’t change it ish. Got home and told my elder sister what happened and she was like “and you didn’t do anything?” I replied “kini mo fe shey?” She was shocked.

Things happen and I just let it go… I am beginning to think they all think there is something wrong with me at home. I was talking to mumsie the other day and she said my sisters reported me to her. And then she goes on asking if am sure all is well. I would have raked for my sisters that day (normally) but somehow I just let it slide. *sigh*. Am I sure all is well?

Side note: Maxwell is coming to town and I can’t go. For a zillion reasons. Maxwell isn’t the kind of person you go see with someone of the same sex. Neither should you go with someone who isn’t your significant other. I am seriously sad just thinking about it alone. Forgot to mention that the 2nd anniversary competition is now closed. The winner would be announced on Sunday 10th. Gift is a 50 quid pound Asos voucher. So all those who commented before 31st, keep praying. Won’t pick the winner till Sunday. Funny how my blog’s anniversary falls on one of my le boos birthdays. Popman too is celebrating his birthday on the 7th. Excited much.

What’s good yo????

It has been a while I have logged in here. E ma binu (I am sorry). Trying to sort myself out as per job ish and all. Plus I also want my 100th post to coincide with this blog’s 2nd anniversary and as I am 2 posts shy of that, I gas watch how often I log in. Started “work” at an interior design company some 3 minutes from home on Monday. Well more like having a “somewhere to go to pending when you get a job” place. Grateful for elder sisters and brothers you can count on. The owner (I would call her and her husband my egbons) just called me up one morning to ask if I didn’t mind doing an internship till I get a job. Could I refuse? No. And am loving every bit.

Which brings me to the main reason for this post. Every wondered why recruiters/interviewers get upset and all during interviews? Well I had first hand experience yesterday. We are recruiting for a client service officer. Four ladies showed up yesterday for their interviews. Lady 1 cannot express herself, kept looking down. She was born in 1991. Lady 2, came in, was asked questions and she started laughing. Like seriously? We had to ask her to stop laughing. Then she started smiling. Ok, you say you have worked as a secretary and receptionist. How would the skills you got apply in this case. Madam is still smiling. Ok let us help her a bit. As a secretary, you interacted with people yeah? With the people skills you got, how would it help in this case? She still couldn’t answer. For like 10 minutes. Do you know what we do here? No answer. We had to ask her to leave. She was born in 1977. Lady 3 came in, immediately asked what the company was about, locations and some quick questions before her interview began. Fair enough. And lady 4? Forgot her CV at home. By then, I was definitely done. I mentioned the years of birth of the first 2 ladies yeah. Got me thinking. Is it safe to say that education in Nigeria started going down since the late 1970s?

Today, I was on the other side of the divide. I went for a test. It was a very laughable but serious experience. 3 out of 7 of us could construct sentences properly. In fact one of the others asked me “can you cut your eraser for me?” I had a blank stare at first. The last time I heard someone put cut and eraser especially with that accent was 10 years ago. You know those GCE exams where we were thrown to some village to write your papers surrounded by Ibadan gehs? Or when the same lady said (after 50 minutes) “I don’t know the time has gone”.

I am sorry but I had this disgusted look when I saw the people I was writing the test with. I felt bad though. That was all shades of wrong but I couldn’t help it. If you are applying for a post as an analyst and you can’t speak properly…. I shouldn’t have I know. After all the test was more of GMAT and you don’t need to speak Queen’s English to answer the Mathematics, Data Sufficiency and Logical reasoning bits. And I wonder at times what people read when they get mails. A mail is sent out to you asking you to bring your WAEC certificate right? You claim you don’t have a WAEC certificate so you bring your NECO certificate. However, the mail specified WAEC and you didn’t bother contacting the person who sent you the mail informing him/her that you had no WAEC certificate? Do we bother paying attention to things? Even the little things? Plus I don’t believe the “I don’t have a WAEC certificate story”. I believe if you did Secondary School in Nigeria, it is compulsory you write WAEC right? So how come you don’t have a WAEC certificate? Maybe it is just me sha.

In other news, I am no longer engaged neither am I married yet. Go figure. Not kissing, not telling. Case closed. Lips sealed. Loools. Don’t ask, won’t say.

I wonder why guys think once they see a female she has no idea how to operate a system nonetheless any other gadget. I was at the office yesterday and I ask the guy with the only system with internet connectivity if I could use the PC. Dude decides to take me through how to send a mail. Yes you heard me. A MAIL. How to use webmail o. I was almost going to tell him “dude, aint nobody got time for that. I used webmail for 3 freaking years and would bloody teach you how to use a PC cause you don’t”. Today nko, I wanted to turn off the central speaker and all and he starts telling me “this is how you turn off an ipod”. Emi? Proud owner of an ipod, iphone and ipad. Ish… Yes I got Apple bragging rights. Next is a mac book. Am badt like that.

Stumbled on these pictures on instagram.

photo (2) photo

Uhmmm if the colour pictures is true (which is though), I should have come as a guy. I no sabi all the tangerine and royal purple and all those colours you women say. Green is green. Blue is blue. I remember buying a shoe online. The colour? Petrol blue. Got me interested and decided to buy. When the shoe came, it was every shade of dark green. Nothing blue in it at all. *smh*. Or buying similar shades of shoes from three different stores. It was called stone in Dorothy Perkins, nude in Next and some other funny name in Newlook.

Anything till further notice in this post is my alter ego talking. Being single is wack ba? Ehn if you know who you want to be with, go and be with him/her na. Is it that hard? If you are a guy and and you like a babe, ask the geh na? Hian. Stop whining. Be a man. And if you are the babe, ask him out. Kapish. Ok. alter ego has logged out.

Finally. Whew you say ba? Na you sabi. Those who know me, know I love parties. Or better still, I love organizing parties. Especially weddings and all the parties before weddings. So you find me tweeting and liking anything that has to do weddings. My alter ego also plans weddings. Well, of all the pre wedding ish, I love bridal showers most and I have helped organize a couple and would def be organizing more. I really believe every woman deserves to have a lovely bridal shower. Like seriously beautiful shower. Like Ike (showerella) would say, “life is too short for boring parties”. So hopefully, my next post would be an article on showerella. Do yourself (and me) a favour and visit http://www.showerella.com, follow showerella on twitter, be friends on facebook (abi na like?), find her on pinterest and promote my sister’s business. By the way, my alter ego also has a bridal shower company where we stock party favours and help you organize your party. So bridesmaids, friends, maids of honour, sisters, sisters-in-law (you all know yourselves jo), contact my alter ego.

Ok final final, last one, please na. Last one. I have found someone with a “worse” surname. Worse in quotes o. I have a last name which is very feminine. So when people ask my name, I get questions like “which one is the name, which one is the surname”? Or they just shorten my surname assuming that is my first name. Well I met a Damola Detola (I sincerely hope she doesn’t see this because me I would deny). Figure out which is the first name and which is the last.

Sidenote: make una help me beg SingleNigerianMan to be my bff jare. He said he can’t be my bff. He doesn’t do fine gehs. Please help me tell him I AM NOT FINE na.

Tada

Let us pray

Almighty Father we are eternally grateful for your grace and faithfulness. For your loving kindness and tender mercies that are new every morning. We thank you for you are our God and there is none other. Indescribable God accept our thanks and praises.

We pray for your mercies this and everyday.

We pray for your guidance this and everyday.

We pray for our nation Nigeria. We lift up our Jerusalem and pray for her peace. Forgive us our sins in this nation. From the East to the West to the North to the South, dear Lord, let your peace reign. We pray for our leaders. Dear Lord, from the President even to the very least public civil servant, you who holds the hands of kings and princes in your hands, turn their hearts towards you. Give us leaders who fear and love you. Have mercy on each and everyone of us. Help us the followers to search our hearts. We get the kind of leaders we deserve. Help that there be a change in our hearts. Help that we wait not for the government to change but to realize that the change begins with us. Help that in our own little ways, we do the right things. Help us to vote the right people into power. Stem the tide of insecurity and corruption in our land and let there be a cleansing from top to bottom and bottom up. Help us to live peacefully with each other.

We pray for the church. We pray for forgiveness. Father forgive us our sins and heal your church. Let your fire as in the days of old burn afresh and anew within the church. Let our church leaders do your will. Let your love be spread abroad afresh within the church. Let there be a revival in the church. Give a change of heart to each one and help us to love each other as Christ loves the church. We pray that our old men (and women) would dream dreams and our young men (women) would see visions. Help us to stop playing church. To stop being religious.

We pray for those looking up to you for children. Father grant them their heart desires. It is your will that none be without child. Cause them to be fruitful and glorify your name in their lives.

We pray for those seeking fruitfulness in other areas of their lives. Cause them to multiply and do so abundantly.

For job seekers, we pray your grant them jobs. For those in jobs they don’t like, give them the courage and boldness to seek and get the jobs they want. For those who should be in businesses and not seek 9-5 employment, Father push them. Take the fear that keeps people bound to jobs they shouldn’t be in away.

For the widows and widowers, comfort them. Strengthen them. For the fatherless and motherless, be a father and mother to them.

For those of us who know you, help us to stand firm and not depart from the way. For those who don’t, draw them close with your saving arms, wrap your arms around them and do not let them go. Help that those of us who know you would do all we need do to bring them to you.

We pray for the newly-weds, lead them in this journey they have began. For all married couples that you strengthen their union. May the oil of their love never run dry. May the wine of their relationship never go sour. Renew their love for each other everyday. We come against every wandering eye. We come against little foxes that destroy the vine. May they never break the hedge. We pray our families won’t fall victim to the devil’s war against marriages.

We pray for those who desire to be married. Answer them at your own time.

We pray for our men. That they may find good wives and obtain favour from the Lord. We pray for our women that in being found, their husbands would find favour.

We pray for our children. They would be for signs and wonders.

Above all we pray that we fulfil your purpose and forever live to praise your name.

We ask this and everyday.

RE: Positioning yourself and Is honesty really the best policy?

I need to revisit my last post on positioning. One thing I didn’t mention is my life mostly revolves around 3 places depending on what stage I am in. Younger years; school-church-home. Post school days: work-home-church. Jobless days: home-church. Constants: home and church. Ok yes I do go out. Weddings (like once in 2 at times 3 years), birthday parties (every other year). Anyways, you get the gist. So when worshipandswag mentioned her friend meeting her husband in a pharmacy I kinda cringed. All the guys I have ever dated I met either in school (twice) or church (once).

If you can decipher from a lot of my posts, I detest don’t like meeting random people say on the road, at a party and then they start forming familiarity after. For example, all those “excuse me” people on the road or those in the bank who see you and “decide” to talk? It gets to me big time. And most of those that commented asked me to keep an open mind. *sigh*. In keeping an open mind, I joined a school network Circle as requested by a friend. After like 4 days of getting people I don’t know send me messages, I am seriously considering leaving. What’s the point of joining you ask? I dunno. Even on facebook, I don’t add people I don’t know and once in a while I trim my “friends”. I have a long way to go right?  You see my dilemma? How do I keep an open mind?

Worshipandswag also said “I love your honesty in your posts“. That scared me. I am dealing with a situation in which I think my honesty/frankness is part of the reasons I got into “trouble”. I have at different points in life gotten into trouble because I said my mind. Now am not the kind of person to keep things to myself (except things that shouldn’t be said or at least not by me and things have been asked specifically not to say and all), but if I feel strongly about something or I think I need to say it, I say it. Now back to the situation I mentioned. I was gisting with a family friend T one night about the ish and he went “it is your honesty that got you into trouble”. I went quiet. He then went on to mention instances I should either have kept quiet or just said I have heard or just agreed. Ok, I agree maybe some of the times, I shouldn’t have said anything or be a little diplomatic (of which I consider myself diplomatic because if I tell a lot of people what comes to mind immediately they do something I wouldn’t have friends. So I either wait a bit before telling them and then construct and reconstruct how I would tell them in my head before opening my mouth). But then again, what do I know? That’s my own side. Someone else might/would think differently.

Keeping quiet or just saying I have heard or agree to do something is where I had an issue. If I kept quiet it would mean consent. It would mean not being true to myself. It would mean I had objections (which may or may not be necessary) yet I didn’t say. I feel by raising my objections (which most times won’t even change anything), I at least get it off my head that I might have been able to do something and instead kept quiet. At least by saying what I feel, I am able to hear your own side and what you think. Abi? By saying “mogbo”; I have heard (especially with older people), it would mean consent too. Yoruba people have a funny way of twisting I have heard to I have heard and I agree. For instance one of the issues was a project I didn’t have money for at that time. And I told the person “I am sorry, I don’t have the money for it now”. At least in my head it made sense I told the person from the onset “I didn’t have the money, if you find someone who does, please use the person or if you can give me a while to see if I can raise the needed funds but I would rather you find someone else than posting you”. Well that didn’t go down well with the other parties. T too felt I should have said mogbo. Then I asked if I said mogbo and then gone ahead to look for the money. Maybe, maybe not. I am a very logical person. I figured if I said mogbo then and still couldn’t raise the money, what would I do? Won’t it have been better I told you the truth from the onset that keeping you on cruise?

He said “you know in relationships like this, you need to be a bit careful. You don’t just say everything you are told or think. Because by the time you are able to explain your view, wa ti binu jina” (I really don’t know how to translate that to English). Like I said earlier, especially with people I am close to, I don’t know how not to tell what’s on my mind. If I don’t consider you a close friend/family member, trust me, I most likely would just keep quiet or say what I want to say and get out. But with people I am close to, keeping quiet is hard.

Later that night, I recounted the same situation to an uncle and he said “I would have thought your honesty would score you brownie points”. *sigh*. One person thinks I am too frank, the other thinks it shouldn’t have been a problem. He did agree with T though in saying I should have been a bit careful and not just say everything (at least not verbatim).

I know with my posts, I just write as it comes to mind; not holding back though some events and ish I do distort. Most times sha, they are real events straight from my head to my laptop. Got me thinking, how can I be diplomatic? How can I not say what is on my mind? I have had to delete posts because I was dayum frank and some people felt I shouldn’t have written verbatim. Well if I didn’t write the way I did, I won’t have been able to communicate what I wanted to so I deleted them.

I am however beginning to think maybe being honest doesn’t necessary pay. Hear me out. I still think it would be hard for me not to say the truth/what I feel. After all I come from a family of people who speak their mind. If you like go and die (not literal o). But if speaking my mind, saying what I consider the truth, at least at that point is going to keep getting me into trouble, I would do fine not talking right? Just going with the flow and letting everybody do as they please right? Funny thing is some of the people I have entered yawa with on this saying my mind ish happen to be people who hate being lied to. They also believe in saying their minds. I just can’t reconcile it.

So if I move away from being honest, I hope I won’t offend people? This may be my last honest post. Who knows?

Positioning yourself

First things first, I would like to say a big thank you to Phumie for her comment. You really really really really made my day. Been awwww-ing and smiling since I got the mail. I am glad I inspire someone.

“You have done well in the last 2 years. I have been following your write ups for a couple of months and it has been an inspiration to me as a blogger myself. Keep up the good work.”

Yes I like to blow my own trumpet like that. I hope I haven’t embarrassed her sha.

Secondly, I did gbagaun in my last post and more than 50 views after, nobody noticed. Just made me remember how imperfect we all are no matter how hard we try to make things perfect. I usually read any post at least twice after posting and edit and edit and edit and…. You get my point. Yet I didn’t see the mistake till my elder sister mentioned it this morning. *sigh*.

Third abi na thirdly (before I shell again), I have decided what the competition would be. So I don’t leave anybody out. My big sis made me realize that I had no incentive(s) for the person whose idea I decide to go with. So as not to disqualify anybody, all you need do is comment on this post and subsequent posts till Thursday, January 31st 11.59pm. I would compile the list of all those who dropped by and made comments and pick a winner. So keep the comments coming.

Back to the post. This is a not serious serious post. The good book says “he that finds a wife…” right? And as women we have been told and lectured and… that it is the man that does the searching right? All we need do is wait. He would come. Ok so people have “preached” that while “waiting”, position yourself abi? I have aunties who all they preach is  “you these girls, go out, ehn”.  My question is “how do you position yourself”? Was gisting with BFF1 yesterday and we got into the we are getting old, we must get married discussion (well that’s what happens when you have two bored, one jobless and the other on leave with the house to ourselves) and we started “bemoaning” our fate. Both of us are perpetual “stay at homes”. We detest  don’t like going out. Oh ABC is having a party, everybody else goes, we stay back. Oh there is this shopping party at XYZ, errr we find an excuse. Well in the last few weeks we on our own decided to go to a couple of places and trust me, we were bored within a couple of hours. Such days usually ended with us stopping at O1 to buy sharwama or Dominos for pizza. Then we head home and have “fun”. Boring right. Ok so we asked ourselves that question a lot of women ask at some point in life. How would you get found staying at home? How do you position yourself to be found?

In other news, I have decided to fill my time (well between applying and preparing for tests and interviews) with learning make-up (shaping eyebrows at the moment; one step at a time) and tying gele. Youtube has been my teacher (why is this gehl behaving like an akuse right?). I need help though with gele gele. I find it easy tying the aso oke (the thick and thin ones; singele), ankara BUT still can’t figure out (with the zillion videos I have watched) how to do the gele. After like an hour I just give up. Is there a simpler method?

 

NB: Please include your full name (s) if possible.

Daddy can I please come back home?

You might remember these words/song from the movie “Preacher’s Kid”. Reminds one of the prodigal son yeah? Woke up this morning and thought of how many times I have strayed. Gone off to do my own thing. Decided not to care how my actions and inactions might hurt or offend those who love me and those I love. How many times I have done things I shouldn’t have. How many times I have left His presence in anger because I wasn’t getting what I wanted (and it goes both ways, both with God and my earthly parents). How many times I have hurt those around me.

And all I want to shout and plead for is mercy. I just want to come back home.

I’m so far away from home
I don’t know how I ended up here all alone
Seems, Like just yesterday
Everything was alright
How did I get here tonight
I was raised better than this
Daddy you don’t know how much I miss
All the lesson life taught you
You tried to tell me so I wouldn’t have to go through


I cry myself to sleep
(cry myself to sleep)
Try to find some peace
(try to find some peace)
Your little girl just have one question for you tonight
Daddy can I please come back home?
Hold me close don’t never let me go
I wanna say I’m sorry daddy every time I let you down
Can I come home tonight tell me everything will be alright


What am I going to do?
If I cant come home to you
Am I still Daddy’s little girl?
In this big bad world
I’m calling out to you know
Please help me someway, somehow


I was raised better than this
Daddy you don’t know how much miss
all the lessons life taught you
You tried to tell me so I wouldn’t have to go through


I cry myself to sleep
(cry myself to sleep)
Try to find some peace
(try to find some peace)
Your little girl have just one question for you tonight
Daddy can I please come back home?
hold me close don’t never let me go
I wanna say I’m sorry daddy every time I let you down
Can I come home tonight, Tell me everything will be alright


I’m tired of getting Independence
I’m tried of all the dogs pretending
Like I’m someone I’m not
When I’m so dog on lost
I wanna be free from these chains
A bird once small be free of pain
I’m calling out to you
Please hear me someway, somehow

Back home
Hold me close don’t never let me go
I wanna say I’m sorry daddy every time I let you down
Can I come home tonight tell me everything will be alright

Daddy can I come home tonight tell everything will be alright

Daddy can I come, Home

I just want to remain Daddy’s girl.

Another song that captures my mood this morning is Coming back home

Took some time to come around

Realize how I let you down

Been to late for sorry now

My pride got in the way

Yes it did
I thought I had it all figured out

I needed time away to work it out

And now that I’ve learned what it’s all about

And all I need is you in my life
So I’m coming back home

Home, where love is waiting for me

Been gone much too long

This is where I want to be

So I’m coming home, coming home

‘Cause home is where I belong
Somehow I lost my way

Mistakes I made I have to pay

It hurts to know still today

That I wasted so much time
And after all is said and done

There’s more to life than having fun

Ain’t no doubt, you’re the one

And all I need is you in my life
So I’m coming back home

Home, where love is waiting for me

Been gone much too long

This is where I want to be

So I’m coming home, coming home

‘Cause home is where I belong
Just to be in your arms

Is like heaven to me

Your love, your love is all that I need
So I’m coming back home

And I hope you forgive all my wrong

So I’m coming home, coming home

‘Cause home is where I belong
So I’m coming back home

Home, where love is waiting for me

Been gone much too long

This is where I want to be

So I’m coming home, coming home

‘Cause home is where I belong

Side note: I am about 7 posts away from a hundred posts and this blog would be 2 years in February. Watch out for a give away. Would be open though to only those in Nigeria and UK. Time to start shopping for a gift.

Have a great day.

Tada

Remembering………

Like I stated in my previous post, 2013 is a year of “remembrance”, both grandparents on my dad’s side died 20 and 10 years ago….. As I remember them (as we do every year), I am grateful to God for what their children (my dad and his brothers) have become. For us the grand children and great grand children. December also makes it 10 years my eldest female cousin got married. Sadly my grandpa couldn’t wait for his 1st grand-daughter to get married before passing on.

I remember my grandma today and always. Though I was mega young when she died. I remember her as that small yet strong woman who raised four sons. Who loved her daughters-in-law as her own. Between her and my maternal grandma, they loved us (my sisters and I) making their hair. My grandma loved to write. Who won’t? When her husband was a writer himself. My fondest and maybe scariest memory is when some days before she died, she asked her neighbour to get people to come clean the house and surroundings because in her words the neighbour “ma gba alejo” (she told her neighbour to expect guests soon) and she needed the whole place intact. She died days after. Ajoke, we miss you.

My grandpa. I had an extra 10 years with him. Mega tall (at least to me then, compared to my grandma and yes, he was about 6 feet). Fondest and best memories are when we went home to see him every year. He always made jotters for us and we had to write out the towns and villages and landmarks we passed through before getting home. He would go through it and ask us questions. When we are leaving he would give us more jotters and ask us to write. Funny again the day before he died, he completed his autobiography. When they broke into his house the following day, the book he wrote everything was wide open, his glasses on the book and his pen. I remember how he used to wait for us under a tree in front of his house when we went to see him every December. We were looking forward to him celebrating his 89th and planning a big 90th for him the following year. He would have been a hundred years in 2014. Adebiyi, we love you so much.

October makes it 10 years I also heard about ovarian and uterine cancer for the first time. Also makes it 10 years I lost a friend (because I lost her before she finally died June the year after). She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer August 2003 thereabout. We took ill about the same time, missed a number of 3rd term exams in SS2. Unfortunately while I was able to get back to school after having a surgery to remove my lump, hers was much serious. She never fully recovered till she passed on some days before her 17th birthday in 2004. I am convinced Adeola knew she was going to die. She said before she died “If I make it till my 17th birthday, I would live”. On the day she died, she went for a routine check-up with her dad. She was actually feeling better. Asked the nurses to tell her dad to excuse them, called the nurses together and asked them to sing and pray. She passed on while that was going on. Found one of the pictures we took during our valedictory service in Primary 6 (we have similar names and her surname always came before mine. We were in the same class all through primary and secondary school). Adeola, I wish I got to know you much better than I did. I wish you didn’t have to die when you did.

10 years also I had my first surgery. 10 years since I got really close to my mum. The news of finding a lump in my breast was enough to make us start talking to each other. Like she says if the lump was cancerous and was advanced and I died, she would have killed me again for not telling her on time because we weren’t on talking terms. If we started the day talking and smiling with each other, we ended it fighting. If we started the day fighting, we ended it talking. To think I am every bit her look alike. You would think we were fighting over a man if you ever saw us fight. Lmao. Grateful to God for my twinie.

On a more cheerful note, my parents would be married 30 years in July. I am grateful to God for giving me such wonderful parents. We have all had our tough times, times we coulda boxed each other (lol). All in all, I am forever grateful. And praying to God for many more years. To see all of us married and to see your grandchildren. I couldn’t have asked for better parents and I would choose you guys (my father would kill me if he sees “you guys”) all over again.

Have  a wonderful year people.

Book Club

Once upon a time, I used to read lots and lots of books. Sadly, for a couple of years, I didn’t read as much as I would have loved. Work then school and all sorts came up to keep me from reading. Excuses right? Yeah I know.

However, I have decided to pick up books again. Have a number of books I bought but not found the time to read them. So, here is to reading them. I would not just read them but share my thoughts on the books I read. Books would range from relationships (single, married), gender related books (male and female), religion,  business, and a bit of motivational books (not a fan of such books but I do have some I was given and haven’t read). Anyways, I hope to start a book club where I would write my thoughts as well as things I learn from them.

So in case you don’t see me for a while, I am busy. WITH MY BOOKS. Lol.

I would start with a book called The Five Love Languages (Singles Edition) by Gary Chapman. Is there anybody who has read it? Or the married edition? First heard about the married edition some couple of years back but never got round to buying it. When I finally decided to buy it two months ago, it was out of stock. So picked the singles edition instead. Trust it would be fun reading it. Next book which I am desperately searching for is “The Point Man: How a man can lead his family” by Steve Farrar. Heard about it in church and it comes highly recommended (in fact, I heard Pastor Adefarasin asked all the men in his church to buy it) for men. Who says women can’t read them too. One of the books I love so much and would recommend is “He-motions” by T.D Jakes. Written for men but even as a woman, I really enjoyed it. Hope to get The Point Man by weekend. Else, would do He-motions instead. Doing away with the “junk” I have on iBooks and going back to the days of hard copies *straight face*. I see someone looking at me.

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Cheers friends.

Have a lovely weekend and a great December.

Tada