Acts of Service

This is the 3rd love language and is also one of the fundamental languages of love. Little wonder why even our saviour admonished us to be servants. Paul summarized this philosophy when he said “Serve one another in love”.

There is a difference between service and slavery. Some people mistake slavery as an act of service. But while service is done in love, slavery is done through manipulation. Manipulation by guilt. If you love me, you would do this for me or you will do this or you will be sorry isn’t the language of love.

Allowing one’s self to be manipulated by another isn’t an act of love. Love says “I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me”. Love refuses to be manipulated. On the other hand, true love often finds its expression in acts of service. It is service given freely not our of fear but out of choice.

Life is filled with opportunities to express love by acts of service. However, like other languages, it is difficult for some to speak. For those who easily speak the language, expressing love through this might be seen as an insult to them. Therefore before doing an act of service, you’d better ask “would it be helpful to you if I did XYZ?” Since your purpose is to enhance their life by expressing love, you don’t want to do something that the person will interpret negatively. If you get a no as answer, don’t take it as a personal rejection.

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