All posts by Deronk

About Deronk

A God freak who likes to share her opinion about issues. I try to see everything positive about a situation. I am melancholic and though a Science person by nature and profession(a Computer Scientist actually), I love arts and music.... especially music.... I like to write also.... Cooking..... Organizing events.... and bless my soul.... Sleeping... I love WIRES.... and like looking up gadgets. If I have the money, I buy them. Am not your typical female.. Some say I am weird, strange and so on. Let moi stop here.

The Illogical GOD

I was at Digging Deep yesterday and a visiting Pastor led the service. While he was teaching on devotion and being planted in the house of God, he spoke about how his mother met Christ before she had him (she was his father’s second wife) and decided to restitute i.e. leave her husband. This led to his father abandoning them and they had to live in stores and stuff for a while i.e. they were so poor, they couldn’t afford N30 to pay for an accommodation. But still, with all the hardship, they were always found in church. Not even torn clothes prevented them from serving God. Long story short, by age 6, he was already preaching. By JSS 3, he had built a house for his mother to leave. And logical me screamed HOW?

Service ends and I realized a few of us had questions. So the person who invited him plays a video of the Pastor truly in his teens preaching in the UK and goes on to explain how God blessed him as a child through people he ministered to – people sponsoring his trips to the UK (he attended the local parish of a big church in the East and he became quite popular) and giving him money which obviously because he really had no use for the money, he built his mother a house. I got home and completely forgot this. The only thing that I remembered thinking about before sleeping was how God honours those who honour Him.

Woke up this morning and as I was brushing my teeth, last night came to mind again and how I screamed how inside me. And I was reminded of Uncle Thomas who needed evidence before he believed Jesus really was ALIVE. I also needed evidence because in my mind, I’m like Pastor, you cannot be lying but still this makes absolutely NO SENSE. And God reminded me of the many Hows people have asked and how truly and indeed, He uses seemingly foolish things to confound we who think we are wise.

How do you explain a 66 or is it 68 year old woman who delivers? Even if IVF. Do we forget the many IVFs people did, yet died without having children? How do we explain a 51 year old woman who gets married at 50 and got pregnant naturally? And many more… HOW?

As I thought about it, I remembered some instances in the Bible where people asked How and God’s reaction (He will always have mercy on whom He would).

Genesis 18:12 So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?”  Yet God ignored her and went ahead to do what He would do, with no consequences for her.

Luke 1:18 – Zechariah said to the angel, “What proof is there for this? I’m an old man, and my wife is beyond her childbearing years.” And he was made dumb

Luke 1:34 – Mary asked the angel, “How can this be? I’m a virgin.” No consequences

John 20:29: Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen (heard, seen evidence, touched etc.)* me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

I asked and still asking myself:

–  Was there a way Mary asked how that was different from Sarah and Zechariah? Or was it the “level of doubts” that was different?

– How do we ask the question HOW without doubting? If that makes sense

– We were created as logical beings. How do we drop logic in the face of the many false prophets and pastors around? Normal human instinct is to rationalize, think, run it by logic. As Christians, how do we do this without doubting? Then I remember we have the Holy Spirit to teach us all things. We were enjoined to be like the Berean Christians. So why do we have a lot of the extremes? Those who don’t think at all and just follow what pastors say and those who run everything by logic.

I don’t have the answers… Maybe someone here would.

The ways of our God defiles all forms, types, shades etc. of logic… No matter what we think or believe we know. On our own, we cannot comprehend.

Note: Words asterisked – my addition!!!

The day I thought I would die…

O you who lift me up from the gates of death (ESV)

You who lift me up from the gates of death (NASB)

thou that liftest me up from the gates of death (KJV)

You snatch me away from the gates of death (ISV)

Thou that liftest me up from the gates of death (ASV)

Psalm 9:13B


Somehow I thought with a new, less stressful job, I would have more time to blog. Well, I have more time now but still ain’t blogging. Life just happened and events overtaking events… sigh.

Most of today, I have been “forced” to remember and think about the difference a month (or months) make in one’s life and thought to share my story. I had a surgery… Now, this won’t be the first surgery (done two minor ones in the past) I would have but this was by far a major surgery and one that almost took my life. I had a myomectomy i.e. took out uterine fibroids. All 29 of them.

October 2017

After a programme in church, a Partner at my former employers who attends the same church walks up to me and asks if I had done a ultrasound scan recently as she felt my tummy was getting bigger. Funny, I had done one earlier in the year so replied I had and my tummy issues were largely due to food. So I thought.

January – February 2018

Post RCCG fast, as usual, lost some weight but tummy remained. I made excuses as usual but was worried. However, I didn’t do anything about it.

March – April 2018

Woke up one day with rashes on my right leg. After a few weeks of waiting for the rashes to clear and it didn’t, I decided to see a doctor. End of April, my aunt mentions the tummy issue again and I felt better late than never. Scheduled a visit and called in sick at work. And the journey began. Ultrasound scan revealed 5 fibroids – 3 large ones and 2 small ones – about 28 weeks i.e. I looked like I was in my second trimester.

May 2018

I attend a leather fair with one of my sisters and a woman approaches me – asks where I got my dress from and blah blah. I told her but she kept staring. Awkward. Later that day, I went to see a movie. Standing at the counter, I turned to answer another lady who asked about my dress. When I was done replying, she goes “you look really good for a 5 months pregnant woman”. I literally died. I don’t know what expression I had on my face but she quickly realised her mistake and figured what was wrong – and began to apologise profusely. I managed to watch the movie but trust me, my heart sunk. I had initially planned not to remove the fibroids but at that point I knew I needed to. Didn’t help that one of the fibroids was impacting an organ. Doctor after Doctor, Gynae after Gynae from then on till June were clear. You need to remove them. So we started planning and settled for October.

October 2018

Went in for the surgery on the 4th of October and it was successful. I mean, I was out in about 4 hours. But instead of 5, 29 were removed. 3 large ones as the scan showed and 26 small ones in different sizes – some were very easy to miss. And then it started. Like I earlier said, I have done 2 other surgeries to remove lumps and within a week I was back like nothing happened. I guess I underestimated this.

3 – 4 days stay in the hospital became 5 days of no food and water as I was stooling constantly even on just IV fluids. By day 4, it had reduced to almost no stool and I started with tea and pap by day 5 (pap and it’s many variants, I absolutely hate and this experience has even made it worse). Day 5, I was discharged to go home. Since pap isn’t by favourite food and at that point, I was already tired of just having pap, we decided to spice it up and I had soup (pretty bland soup) and pap. My bowel had other plans though. By morning on day 6, I just wasn’t stooling, I was throwing up BILE.

I was convinced I was living my final moments on earth. I literally felt my spirit leaving me. I prayed silently for the remaining minutes to be less painful like God just make me sleep and let it end. I watched my mum, her sister and my younger sisters and cried within me. Like God, please don’t hurt them. How we got back to the hospital I sincerely do not recall but God got me..

Now within the first 5 days, I must have had at least 5 or 6 different needles go into me trying to pass fluids into me. For some reasons, after about 12 hours, the veins tissue. This is aside injections. Going back would be worse. Had about 3 IVs within 2 hours just to stabilise me. First test result comes back and my potassium level was about 2.3/2.5. Minimum is usually 3.5. I had lost a lot of blood and was pretty much anaemic. Blood pressure was normal all through from surgery day even till the day I returned. Temperature normal but pulse was over the roof. I began another 5 days of confinement. Not funny. I was restless. As at the last time I counted, I had had another 10 needles go into me trying to find a vein and the vein tissuing within 12 hours. At some point, the doctors were setting multiple IV lines in my hands. I was dying within me, my mum was praying – thank God for mothers.

On one of the nights, I had gotten so frustrated, I insisted I wasn’t going to have another drip and asked the doctor and nurses to pack their equipment. I was legit DONE. Anyway, my mum convinced me to continue but that came with its own problem. Due to my restlessness and I was practically not sleeping at night, I was “sedated” that night. Well, the following day, I could barely do anything – couldn’t talk, couldn’t even stay awake more than a minute. Definitely everybody got worried again. sigh

I was discharged 4 days after and started a week of just pap – mornings, afternoons and night. 10 days of no food or water, another 7 of just pap. I lost so much weight, I cried when I looked at a mirror. Still not there yet. Clothes don’t fit and stuff but getting there gradually.

I was at a Board Retreat and was lodged in a hotel till today. I had picked the same dress I wore in April/ May that had people asking questions today. I had even left my room and realised I forgot something by the full mirror. And then I looked. The difference 6 – 7 months can make.

I still remember the days I was praying for a normal stool, to be able to fart, to be able to sleep even after I got back home. Praying for God to just show me the right side and angle to sleep so I can minimise discomfort. Praying for just even 2 straight hours of sleep and not waking up every 30 minutes to 1 hour. Funny, I had no pains post surgery but everything else just seemed to be going wrong. I sleep now (except when I take late evening naps) without even thinking about it. I use the toilet regularly now and I smile. Wasn’t it just some days ago this was a struggle?

Or the days I had to watch every single thing I ate? The funny sensations from my chest downwards I couldn’t tell anybody about? The numbness, the discharges? The fears – of bending, carrying stuff, stitches opening up? When I couldn’t laugh or sneeze – and if I did, I had to hold my tummy area to avoid exertion?

Today makes it a month after that morning after I had to be rushed back to the hospital. The difference a month makes.

I am indeed very grateful for life. I think about how easily it could have been an obituary rather than a testimony. The numbness remain. I pretty much still can’t do much – I can’t drive, I can’t lift things, I have some 2 – 4 weeks out to get back to 100% but I have learnt a lot about my body.

And ladies and gentlemen, we need to check ourselves more often. Maybe if I had done another scan a year ago, the fibroids won’t have gotten that big or won’t have started to degenerate. The last 6 days in September and first 4 in October are days I don’t want to relive. One of the large fibroids had started to degenerate and caused so much pain I could not stand nor sit. I was popping Ibruofen like I was drinking water. I couldn’t go to work and I was just useless.

I have learnt though – my (our) diet has been a big factor in causing this problem and yes I have joined the fitfam club. Eat clean, eat well, have cheat days (very important) but healthy eating is importanter….

Did I tell you I have an amazingggggggggggggg family and wonderful friends? The support I got and still getting is mind blowing. Even from church and work. Grateful much

AND, it is 10 days to 31.


* Updated post with the Bible passage





Not sure I am back but errr

4 years and a month after, I am preparing to close a chapter of my life working in one of the Big 4s and I must confess it has been an interesting experience. I look back at the skills I have acquired and how I am able to tweak my CV to suit any role I apply for – something I won’t have gained working in the industry alone. Or do I talk about how it has finally helped me to decide what path to pursue? How it has helped me come to terms with my other passions?

I applied to one of the Big 3s in the UK and then decided to return to Nigeria in 2012 after a year off doing my Masters. Since I couldn’t continue with my UK application, I applied to a Big 4 and a leading Technology Consulting firm (both global organizations) and the wait was a nightmare. About 2 years down the line, I finally get into the blue side of the Big 4 after a 10 month stint in a Tier 1 Bank in Nigeria. And the journey began. The late nights, the no sleep days, the good, the bad, the ugly. The tears, the laughs, the smiles. The “office relationships” or not – some won’t believe this never happened. The amazing hang-outs and events. The days you just wanna punch the wall – or someone. Above all, I am wise now… Older and wiser… Powerpoint and Excel became my friends. I learnt how to mix colours by force. I became a “Graphics Designer”, learnt to cage monkeys… the list is endless.

In the last few months since I decided I needed to change jobs, I have seen myself apply and get offers for HR, IT PMO, Change Management, Corporate Communications/ Services roles across various industries. I have been asked to send my CV for a Business Process Manager role. All because of the type of experience I have garnered and the types of engagements I have done.

I have interacted with junior and senior management staff from the FS Industry to Logistics to Telecoms to Government. I have met some of the most amazing people at work and at client sites, built skills I never thought I would have, bossed meetings *smiles* etc. I could only have gained that working in a Consulting firm. I am glad I took the “risk” to walk this path when some thought I was “mad” – how do you leave a Banking job, take a pay cut to get into the Consulting industry. I guess it has paid off at the end!!!

Looking forward to the new chapter starting June. I am hoping it affords me more time to focus on my mentorship and volunteering programmes and of course – business…

Realized it’s been over 2 years I posted… Well hope I am back for real. I do miss writing though… Shout out to those who still visit the blog. I do get the emails regularly.. Gracias! Thank you.

Now preparing for the many Whatsapp messages that would hit my phone once this post drops…


I think it’s time to go…

Is it really over between us two

Why don’t you love me the way I still love you

So many mistakes made. In so little time….

I started blogging because yes I do love to write. So yeah I took up blogging and all and enjoyed writing here. It was a whole lotta fun

BUT… Seems that “love” has died. Not the love for writing. I just can’t make out that time to write about things I love or things I want to say. At times, I have it all written out in my head but just won’t post. And….

I wonder at times if a lot of us took to blogging to escape? Because we really do want to write or connect with people? Because that is/ was the in-thing?

I realize a lot of people I met on here ain’t even blogging no more or blog once in like 5 months (I am also guilty of this). My blog anniversary was February 10 and I completely forgot. Sure this blog is just here looking at me “like seriously? You forgot my birthday?”

So I have decided, just maybe here isn’t “made” for me. Just maybe it’s time to go….

While here I have met amazing people- Joxy of JustJoxy who has become my big sis, Angelsbeauty/ Justdoitmum, Singlenigerian and Zingerthots (all four I have gone on to meet in real life and become friends with), 1+the one (still owe you that Digging Deep service) and many more. I really appreciate your help and friendship. Love you guys

But it’s time to call it a day and move on. You likely won’t see me here anymore. It was fun while it lasted.

I spend more time on IG, Twitter and Orbi and have decided to move HitnRunMullings there. So ya all can catch me on IG and Twitter using HitnRunMullings – which will be my “public” page while my current IG and Twitter handles remain private. Maybe we’ll add Facebook at some point but for now, we’ll be on IG and Twitter.

Thank you all. Ese pupo.


Happy New Year

Happy new year good people.

May 2016 be filled with laughter. May 2016 be the beginning of our best years!!! Sounds cliche but yeah, I am just so sure this year will be LIT!!!

Stumbled on this picture (it was initially shared by Natalie Brown, a Training and Management personnel about a month ago) and I was just amazed by how many people agree with her point (by the way I also agree). I shared it on LinkedIn and I have had people I am not even connected to like the same picture and drop comments.


Why good employees leave
Source: LinkedIn

I have left a few jobs/ was dissatisfied and all I could think of and plot for months was my exit plan. For one, I had had it so up here, I had my letter ready to drop it when the next offer came. Like it was that bad. Looking back now (at each point, I never really thought about the fact that I had/ didn’t like my manager/ supervisor), I realize that it was actually the major factor. Coming second was the “I am not challenged” factor. Surprisingly, “more money” has never featured on my top 3 list of leaving a firm/ job. I have actually left one for another which paid way less. Made me pause and think. Who exactly is a bad manager? What makes one a bad manager? I don’t have the answers!!! And answers to this can and are likely to vary from person to person.

On a previous job, a senior and I had quite some drama and discussing it with others, they asked me to engage him. I did and realized for some, they don’t even realize what they are doing – ba being the bad manager/ boss/ supervisor. That’s just the way they are wired or have come to be.

Some are however just bad managers. And trust me I have worked with them.

Thinking about the fact that I could someday be the reason a trusted/ good/ hardworking/ promising subordinate leaves a firm/ job is just somehow.

On a lighter note. Today so happens to be a “friend” on Facebook’s birthday. Saw the notification and was at loss as to who it was. Name and surname just didn’t click. Took me almost an hour to figure out who it was. And I just burst out laughing. If you ever hear that I “fought” (well not physically) a babe cuz of a guy.. yeah that’s the babe. Things we did when we did for “love”.

N.B: You are invited. If you are in Lagos or can make it to Lagos on Saturday, you are invited. An economic outlook programme will hold on Saturday 16 Jan, 2015. The objective of the programme is to equip participants with the requisite knowledge of the implications, opportunities and threats which the 2016 budget presents. The expected outcome for participants is improved strategic business focus as well as improved decision-making by prayerfully applying this knowledge and understanding. 

Key industry segments and speakers include:

1. Key Note Address: Diversifying the Nigerian Economy: Talk to Action – Kunle Elebute
2. Micro, Small, Medium-scale Enterprises (MSMEs) – Nneka Okekearu
3. Media and Entertainment – Don-Pedro Obaseki
4. Financial Services – Banking – Acha Leke
5. Financial Services – Non-Banking – Tony Oputa
6. Information, Communication & Technology – Omobola Johnson
7. mManufacturing – Obi Ezeude
8. Agriculture – Mezuo Nwuneli
9. Oil, Gas and Power – Abayomi Olarinmoye
10. Real Estate and Construction – Deji Alli
11. Job Opportunities and Skill Development – Uwa Osa-Oboh

The event is free. Date is Saturday, 16 January, 2016 at The King’s Court, 3 Keystone Bank Crescent, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria from 8.00am to 4.00pm.

Visit to register.





Pastor Adeboye instructed us to have a book of thanksgiving this year. Daily/ weekly/ monthly we recorded things God has done for us. I did this religiously for about 2 months and err updated once in a green moon.

It is less than 48 hours to the end of 2015 and I must say this has been an eventful year. Beautiful in a whole lot of ways. More than I could ever have thought it would be.

Where do I start?

  1. The support system God has blessed me with. From my parents, to my sisters to my brothers to my friends both online and “offline”. The Joxys and Angelsbeautys and Zingers and Single Nigerians of these world. Friends I could turn to. Friends I could call. Friends to comfort, correct, advise. Friends to check up on me. Friends to encourage….
  2. My HoD in church… One in a million. I must have bothered the man more than anybody else this year and through it all…
  3. My house fellowship… ever praying for “this me” o
  4. My department in church… most especially for new friends. I was out of church for about 5 months. And I returned like I never left. Even when the department had practically been overtaken by newbies. Ah ah they accepted me as their oga *hehehe*
  5. My job. As stressful and annoying as it can be. I made a whole lotta friends this year at work more than I have ever anywhere else I have worked. And it was just funny. I joined mid year last year hence missed a promotion year. So I am on the same level of those who joined 3-6 months earlier. Surprisingly, even when I was a year ahead of them, shy me somehow jelled with them and we become friends. So when the promotion ish happened, it was like we had always been friends. Only just realized how hard it would have been if we weren’t already friends when I saw a few guys who missed this last promotion and became mates with us. It has been very hard for them to click with “our set”. I woulda been a loner/ that “junior” who is friends only with “seniors” and managers. And in the farm we are in, mehn those juniors are so important o…
  6. For answered prayers concerning changing my unit at work. Mehn I had given up trying to get a change of unit. When I least expected and wasn’t even thinking about it any longer, it finally happened
  7. For new friendships, for friendships that became stronger
  8. For friendships that had to end. It was so necessary they ended as hard as it was to put a stop to them. But looking back, I am so glad I made the right choice
  9. For journey mercies. Can’t be overemphasized. I travelled this year more than I have in a long time
  10. For weddings. I mean 5 family weddings in a year. Could only have been God. For friends who got married. Most of which I couldn’t attend sadly. You can’t have 5 family weddings + my job and still have the strength and time for other weddings except you are just a natural party junkie. I shall make up next year. *inserts rotflmao smiley*
  11. For the sisters and brothers I gained via marriages… 3 sisters, 2 brothers……
  12. For provision (please see number 9). Weddings and money. Oh boy!!!
  13. For my hair…. Instagram and my room haf hear it
  14. For our 2nd first class grad in the family. We bad like that
  15. Do I talk about healings? From my dad who took ill sometimes in May. And boy was I scared. I was major scared. Back to number 1. My support system. Asides family, having a few friends pray along was so so uplifting and encouraging. Thanks again Joxy
  16. For Nigeria. You have no idea how scared I was this time last year. Reports of war and break-up were rife. Fear later become faith by end of January and I was so convinced this country wouldn’t fall apart. And thank God we are together. With all our many issues, war isn’t something to pray for. If you never watched Blood Diamonds, please watch Beasts of No Nation. And get every thought of break-up/ war outta your heads
  17. Ah, how can I forget going to Camp for Congress. I have always longed for an opportunity to attend Convention or Congress but in my 6 years work experience, it just has never happened. Fast forward this year. My holiday had been scheduled for the whole of November, but as God will have it, my SM moved it to start 3 Dec. Meaning I could be at camp *yayyyy*. The forces that be almost won’t allow. Everyone I planned to go with cancelled on the first day so I was stuck watching on TV for the first 3 days. But God moves in ways we cannot imagine. I was able to attend Thursday and Friday. Live and direct
  18. For restoration on all sides.. and many more to come….
  19. For the ability to make the right decisions… This alone is worth a post of its own
  20. I had the best birthday in a long while… From the week before to the Saturday after… From the cakes (and thanks to my mystery cake sender o, just in case you see this) to the “after party”
  21. For the birthdays and weddings I have between February and May 2016. You got no idea… Baba, more money please….
  22. For friends who had babies this year.. One after 7 years of marriage… Others within a year of marriage

I can go on and on…. All in all, I can only say I have many reasons to thank God for 2015… Beautiful year it was…. Beginning of the more beautiful years to come. Do have a wonderful 2016 good people…



For the love of good music

Brymo has to be the most underrated Nigerian artiste…

I mean…

Can we have a collabo between him and Asa in 2016? Na beg I dey beg….

No apologies to the Wizkid and Davido etal fans but how are the Asas, Brymos, Bezs, Dareys not getting as much airplay time and “concert” invites as the Wizkids and Davidos. How are they relegated to the few times a GTBank or a Smooth FM decides to organize a concert for their fans?

Rant over.

I couldn’t attend #anightattheKazbah but boy, thanks to the sisters who attended and the free CDs, I am having my own #nightattheKazbah.

I think the “biggest” revelation for me is Ruby. Haven heard her “Good man” song on B430 (didn’t know who did the song), I think Waje should watch her back….

I leave ya with these songs

If you can, download Waka by Brymo (Soundtrack for Saro the Musical – now Wakaa). Else you can listen here:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance lovelies.






November to Remember

This is to me right now
This is so me right now









So my cousin tags me in this post on Instagram and I laughed so hard I cried. Like there is this excitement every October. I can’t just wait for November to start. Lol.

I remember once as a child, I woke up on the 25th thinking it was 26th, went to the parents room, picked my new dress, had my bath and was about getting into the dress when I remembered “oh today isn’t 26th”. Need I say more, I took ill on the 26th. Lol. I really couldn’t be involved in the party. *sigh*

Anyways, in the event I “disappear” for a long time again, happy new month peeps. And Merry Christmas in advance.

And Happy Birthday to my lovely yummy mum, sexy 28 mate, Angelsbeauty and my friend who has disappeared, my fellow November sister, Tee – November 16 and 18 respectively. Love you both.

N.B: New blog alert –


Story 1

I am sure you can tell I have a lotta free time now to faff…

This “story” is one of two stories I have had people ask me to share. I hope someday I have the courage and time to post the second story. That one go be like Nollywood movie. Anyways….

Annie Idibia had some pictures up today to raise awareness for Breast Cancer and I saw some downright stupid comments online. Anyways once again…..


I lost my paternal grandfather August 1, 2003. A few days before that, while having a bath, I felt a lump in my left breast. Felt it the first day and checked everyday hoping it woulda disappeared. I was in a very bad state by Day 5 and struggled with telling anybody what I had discovered. Fast forward about 10 days. Yes 10 good days, I called my mum into her room one Tuesday evening. Waited for her to return from church (mistake or what?). So I tell momma “be like say I get lump for breast” (def not in pidgin English) and typical Naija mum style, she starts to rebuke and practically tells me not to even think of that. Ah ah, ki lo ro debeyen (I have no idea how to interpret this in English) and all. And she is praying all sorts of prayers. Me? I am just there confused.

Mums tells pops later that night and pops says “well, the only way to find out if she is saying the truth is to take her to a doctor”. So we decide to go see a doctor the next morning.

Now you ask what I was even looking for on my breast ba? Well na my property. I had been kinda fascinated with breast cancer ish since I read about then popular footballer, Victor Ikpeba who lost his wife Tinuke to breast cancer. I remember that prior to that, stories on breast cancer always had some much older women that it became a myth, young women don’t have cancer. Till Ikpeba’s wife died. So I did a bit of research on breast cancer.

Fast forward a few years and I notice a lump. I say to myself “Debola, to think it is “this cancer thing” than will now kill you”.

Wednesday morning, we are at the hospital, first thing in the morning. Male doctor on duty. Mums says no. Male doctor cannot see my daughter (Naija mum in action). At that point, I couldn’t be bothered and asked that anybody on duty should attend to me. Doctor confirms there is a lump – a moving lump at that. He couldn’t ascertain if it is cancerous until further tests were done. I almost freaked. Got home and headed to the nearest cybercafe (yes it was cybercafe those days  – at least during the day) and did a bit of research while imagining possible ways the cancer will kill me. I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t read for my exams. How I managed to pass the exams I have no idea.

Mums sister is a doctor. Mums and pops had discussed and pops requested a second opinion. So we waited for my aunty to return from her vacation. As usual, she is in Ibadan once she is back from her vacation. You need to see the look on her face when she called me to come into my parents room. I knew for sure I was dying. She did all the checks and gives the same result. She cannot confirm until further tests were done. I needed to come to Lagos as soon as possible. I had exams however so had to wait till my exams are done. Exams ended on a Monday, I was shipped to Lagos the next day.

Now I rode to Lagos with my grandma who you cannot hide anything from. The moment we stopped at her sister’s and I got asked why I was in Lagos when school was in session, my grandma’s ears caught it. She also had this “you are dying look”. Omo mehn by this time, I had just prepared myself. If it was cancer and it meant death… Oh well. However, how my parents, grandma and the entire family will feel was so heavy on my mind (especially with a recent death in the family), I told myself, no death mehn. Odeshi

All that encouragement came crumbling the moment I got to my aunty’s. So my cousin asks why I was in Lag and I tell him. His next words were “so you came to Lagos to die” – I remember that statement (till what part of the house we were when he said it) like it was said yesterday. I emotionally died a thousand times. Hours later, I was woken up to join a vigil. My aunty got these pastor friends of hers to come hold a vigil for me. You know I was so convinced I would die. Like there was nothing anyone will tell me differently. To make matters worse, vigil ends and Pastor Mrs decides to “encourage” me. She tells me a story of how her sister had a surgery and of the 7 patients in the ward scheduled for the same surgery, only her sister survived. Shoro niyen.

Wednesday morning. My aunty wakes me up. Surgery won’t hold today. We will do it on Thursday. Okay I said. Thursday morning. Sorry surgery won’t hold today. Friday morning. Sorry surgery won’t hold today. As you might have guessed. I freaked out and burst into tears. I was in negative emotionally. Finally called mums later that day. Wasn’t encouraging. Apparently, aunty too kinda was freaked out and wanted mums at least to be around during the surgery. Mums couldn’t get time off work at short notice and had to wait till work ended on Friday afternoon before heading to Lagos.

Finally, Saturday morning. We all head to the hospital. Surgery was scheduled for 8am. 9am we were yet to start. 9:30am. No show. 10am, no show. I was worried. Mums comes into ward and I ask why the delays. Apparently, my aunty wanted my dad in Lagos too (you see why doctors are not allowed to treat not to talk of operate on their family members?). Not sure if she was worried I will die and hence wanted my parents to see me before I died. I dunno.

Surgery started when it was confirmed my dad was close to Lagos. With my grandma. Yepa!!! By the time the anesthetic kicked in and I blanked out, pops and grandma were around. Fortunately, I woke up (Halleluyah) about an hour later to see everyone of them (my aunty’s husband had joined by then) staring at me.

Fortunately again, further tests on the lump revealed it was not cancerous. I went back to school. Asides my besties Ify and Tos, nobody else knew what happened. Life went on. Got back to realize a good friend and classmate for 12 years had been battling Ovarian Cancer. She died the following year.

Did I forget to mention, I was 15 when this happened?

Fast forward about 7 years. August 2010. About the same time I noticed the first one. I had kinda noticed another lump. This time – my right breast. And I tell myself, nah it can’t be. Never. Not again.  Got a job November (about 10 days to my birthday) that year and was asked to go for medicals. Doctor (female this time, lol) decided to do a breast examination. She is done and she is giving me this deadly look. I get off the examination table, get dressed and she is about to give me the you have a lump, it might be cancer talk. I was so upset (I still don’t know why), I cut her off and tell her not to worry. I know the drill. Well it might not be cancer, just get it checked and removed as soon as possible. I had this ese, eku ife statement just at the tip of my tongue.

I get into my car and CRIED. Not again Lord, not again.

Called my mum and seriously I managed to get home through my tears. Told my aunty later that night and she fixes an appointment with the same doctor. Doctor however says he cannot do surgery as it was close to Christmas, he was traveling and all. Oh well, I had to wait till January, January 10. Surgery was even smoother than the first and mums was my only audience this time (thank God for mothers). However, I took almost 2 hours to wake up – mums don freak out sote. I had this sharp pains for the next 3 weeks. Dang, no amount of Ibuprofen could save me. Fortunately, I was good enough even with the pains to return to work after 2 weeks. Once again, it wasn’t cancer.

******************************************************************************************October is the breast cancer awareness month.

A lot of people still with all the many deaths and talk just don’t bother to get themselves checked.

I mean, a few months after my first surgery, during a female teens church class (we were being “educated” on health and hygiene and all), I stupidly “volunteered” to talk about my experience so others can be educated. Head Teens church teacher practically asked me to shut up. In her words “you don’t discuss such outside. How do you want people to look at you after today? Do you know the trauma cancer parents pass through?” Mogbe

January 2011, I decide to ask for days off work for the surgery and one of the HR babes asks why I needed day off as the year just started. I tell her and she goes “breast examination no concern her. She has never done it. She has no idea how it is done” and goes on to ask me if it was necessary to even get examined sef. How did you find out? she asked. The lady is about 5 years older than  I am.

I read a lot of comments on people who had lost family members – sisters, mothers, aunties, friends to breast cancer and other forms of cancer and I can’t help but think, what if it was me!!!! Mehn, people are dying because a lot of people don’t detect it early. They don’t detect it early because they don’t check……… It is your breast. It is your body. CHECK IT!!!!

Ladies go get yourself checked. And check often. Won’t kill you. If you are  married, let your husbands do the checking for you (if you no wan do am yourself). But seriously, checking doesn’t kill. It just might save your life.

I struggle with what Christians say at times

As you must have deduced from my last post, I haven’t been to church much this year. So since the project is informally over (except all the project closure ish), I have my Sundays especially back. So I went to church 2 Sundays ago.

I don’t recall what the Sunday School topic was. I left my class to go find out my posting for the day and overheard this Sunday School teacher talk.

So he is telling his “students” something but I caught/ started listening from the part where he says these stories.

Story 1: This young lady says no to a guy. Guy is now married. Lady isn’t. Teacher goes on to advise “women” not to say no to guys because in his words, lady isn’t married as God is punishing her for not agreeing to marry the guy. That her punishment is being single because she didn’t marry the guy

Story 2: Another guy friend of his approaches a lady. Lady says no. Again guy is married. Lady isn’t. Guy, lady and teacher now live in the same neighbourhood.In his words again: “You can imagine how the lady feels anytime she sees the children’s (the guy’s children’s) clothes at the back. Because she can see the guy’s house from hers”. Again, he concludes that the lady is being punished for not agreeing to marry the guy.

And I thought to myself. SERIOUSLY!!!!????? I will give 2 stories about myself.

Story 1: I dated a guy about 5 years ago. A few months in, I realized we were better off as friends and ended it. He got married early this year. We still have remained very good friends. Basically based on Sunday School’s teacher’s logic. I am still single now because God is punishing me right?

Story 2: Some guy in church comes to me 4 years ago. God told him I was his wife. God gave him my name. Guy was twice my age then. Definitely God couldn’t have asked me to marry someone twice my age ba? He got married the following year. To someone who bears my name. Again, we have remained friends. I am single because God is punishing me right?

It just doesn’t matter that maybe we were not compatible. Maybe we were not in the same place. Maybe we were just not made for each other? Maybe it is ok to just be friends. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

How did we get to the point were we attribute being single to sin. Like every 20-something, 30-something, 40-something woman who is single is single because God is punishing her. Never mind that there are single men in that same age range. Their being single isn’t God’s punishment I guess.

Lord knows I spent most of that week thinking about it and how many non-Christians would hear that statement and just won’t have that. How the church doesn’t support singlehood. A lot of Christians see it as sin and it is majorly alarming. Little wonder why there is no support system in most churches for singles.

Last Sunday, same ish happened. Issue is where we meet to get our postings is close to this class. So I get to hear him talk.

So he is giving this talk about how people should respect workers in the church. Very valid point. I completely agree. And then gives this example. This person (female again) steps on him while on duty (he used to be an usher). He says right there, he “reported” her to God. He made this statement with so much glee. In his words “when God started to deal with her, I had to beg God that it was enough”.

I am an usher in church. I can’t count how many times people have been rude, insulting and downright annoying. I can also not count any occasion where I asked God to punish the person. Like really? God should punish someone??? By all means get upset, be angry. Lose your cool if you want to (no be me talk am o). Really don’t lose your cool. I still can’t wrap my mind round it.

I have concluded that Sunday School teacher must have been so hurt by women in the past. Since he typically uses women as examples when it comes to negative things. Oh that’s how one woman died and got to Heaven but was sent to hell because she used earrings. She “resurrected” and stopped using earrings. Hence earrings will send you to hell. He has stopped his wife from using earrings. And she must cover her head. Yes he has given that example before. I almost died.