Daily Archives: October 22, 2015

I struggle with what Christians say at times

As you must have deduced from my last post, I haven’t been to church much this year. So since the project is informally over (except all the project closure ish), I have my Sundays especially back. So I went to church 2 Sundays ago.

I don’t recall what the Sunday School topic was. I left my class to go find out my posting for the day and overheard this Sunday School teacher talk.

So he is telling his “students” something but I caught/ started listening from the part where he says these stories.

Story 1: This young lady says no to a guy. Guy is now married. Lady isn’t. Teacher goes on to advise “women” not to say no to guys because in his words, lady isn’t married as God is punishing her for not agreeing to marry the guy. That her punishment is being single because she didn’t marry the guy

Story 2: Another guy friend of his approaches a lady. Lady says no. Again guy is married. Lady isn’t. Guy, lady and teacher now live in the same neighbourhood.In his words again: “You can imagine how the lady feels anytime she sees the children’s (the guy’s children’s) clothes at the back. Because she can see the guy’s house from hers”. Again, he concludes that the lady is being punished for not agreeing to marry the guy.

And I thought to myself. SERIOUSLY!!!!????? I will give 2 stories about myself.

Story 1: I dated a guy about 5 years ago. A few months in, I realized we were better off as friends and ended it. He got married early this year. We still have remained very good friends. Basically based on Sunday School’s teacher’s logic. I am still single now because God is punishing me right?

Story 2: Some guy in church comes to me 4 years ago. God told him I was his wife. God gave him my name. Guy was twice my age then. Definitely God couldn’t have asked me to marry someone twice my age ba? He got married the following year. To someone who bears my name. Again, we have remained friends. I am single because God is punishing me right?

It just doesn’t matter that maybe we were not compatible. Maybe we were not in the same place. Maybe we were just not made for each other? Maybe it is ok to just be friends. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

How did we get to the point were we attribute being single to sin. Like every 20-something, 30-something, 40-something woman who is single is single because God is punishing her. Never mind that there are single men in that same age range. Their being single isn’t God’s punishment I guess.

Lord knows I spent most of that week thinking about it and how many non-Christians would hear that statement and just won’t have that. How the church doesn’t support singlehood. A lot of Christians see it as sin and it is majorly alarming. Little wonder why there is no support system in most churches for singles.

Last Sunday, same ish happened. Issue is where we meet to get our postings is close to this class. So I get to hear him talk.

So he is giving this talk about how people should respect workers in the church. Very valid point. I completely agree. And then gives this example. This person (female again) steps on him while on duty (he used to be an usher). He says right there, he “reported” her to God. He made this statement with so much glee. In his words “when God started to deal with her, I had to beg God that it was enough”.

I am an usher in church. I can’t count how many times people have been rude, insulting and downright annoying. I can also not count any occasion where I asked God to punish the person. Like really? God should punish someone??? By all means get upset, be angry. Lose your cool if you want to (no be me talk am o). Really don’t lose your cool. I still can’t wrap my mind round it.

I have concluded that Sunday School teacher must have been so hurt by women in the past. Since he typically uses women as examples when it comes to negative things. Oh that’s how one woman died and got to Heaven but was sent to hell because she used earrings. She “resurrected” and stopped using earrings. Hence earrings will send you to hell. He has stopped his wife from using earrings. And she must cover her head. Yes he has given that example before. I almost died.