Monthly Archives: August 2015

Of Cyberbullying, Hating and Social Media

This is one post I have planned to write for a while now because I don’t just get this “Haters”, “You have a differing opinion therefore you must be a hater” concept all over social media. And at this stage … the anger I feel most times when I see such comments online, I get tempted to just disappear from all social media. Maybe fortunately I have  always had my pages – Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr e.t.c private, and as I am not a Celeb, such comments  don’t get to my page but come on… these other guys are human too o!!!!

What is cyberbullying? – “the use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically by sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature”; “the act of harassing someone online by sending or posting mean messages, usually anonymously”.

I do a lot of sniffing and looking and visiting social media and other new media channels and it is utterly disgusting the kind of comments people post a lot of times forming Anonymous or using fictitious names and they feel fulfilled typing such and posting it.

Take a look at half of the comments on say a Bellanaija or a “celeb’s” IG. You see people dissipating so much energy just because person B has a different view.  A year or 2 ago, such people were labeled haters and we all moved on. Now you see comments upon comments and replies upon replies (insults and name calling) just to “correct the person” or ensure the person “aligns” with your view. Like I have no right to my opinions anymore.

Truly some comments can be read and interpreted as “bad belle” comments but I really don’t see who made the other person the judge hence you have to correct to the extent you begin to insult. If you think you must correct an impression or opinion, there are more civilized ways of doing it that won’t degenerate into insults and name calling.

I think the earlier we realize that everybody has a right to their opinions the better.

  1. If someone has a different opinion it necessarily doesn’t mean they are hating.
  2. If you think the person’s opinion is wrong, you don’t need to resort to “bullying”. You can correct people without bullying or insulting them
  3. It is not every opinion/ view/ comment you have you must post. So I see a bride on her wedding day and I think the MUA didn’t do a good job, there is no law that says I must post a comment that the MUA did a horrible job or the bride looked ugly. Keep such comments to yourself
  4. Learn to respect other people’s feelings and look at things from different angles. Thou shall not be stuck up and think you are always right

There are days I wish we are in a Turkey or China where usage of new media is controlled.

Happy Sunday

5 Shades of Randoms

  1. So I am this close to having a friend never talk to me again (well maybe for a while) because…… I will be missing her wedding. And I was warned in advance. After I missed another Uni friend’s wedding two years ago. No bi my fault. I had to pull outta helping her plan and being on a train when it was obvious I won’t be able to get days off twice in a month and me there thinking “ok, I will go to Ib on Saturday morning”. Well as we don enter critical phase of the job am on, I practically had to “apply” to take 3 days off from my vacation for my sisi’s wedding. And I keep hearing “ah Debola, you want to abandon me at the critical moment”; “can we renegotiate your days off?” “Debola, I am drowning in work o” and am just giving my boss my bitch resting face. Wowzers!!!!! Anyways I am wondering when is the right time to tell her I won’t be coming. So I can get the silent treatment as soon as possible. Shoulda tell her in advance I won’t be making the wedding i.e. tell her today/ tomorrow or buzz her on Saturday morning to tell her (bad idea right)? Or just wait till after the wedding say in like 2 weeks to apologize?
  2. It is a few days to my sisi’s wedding #gunsblazing #readytoparty. And for the first time, I plan a wedding all the way. No more planning bits and pieces of a wedding i.e. draw budget, get some vendors, sort out bridal train ish. Feels good but mehn I am running on reserve now – planning a wedding with my 8 – 5 or is it 8 – 9 these days e no easy. And I have had 2 people tell me in the last few weeks to quit my job and just face planning parties. What do ya think?
  3. Hmmm, this my current engagement ehn…. Anyways, thanks to the job I can tick Rivers State (Port-Harcourt precisely) off the list of states to visit in Nigeria. Had a lovely stay. Didn’t go out – thanks to the many “ma jade o” – don’t go out o, so they don’t kidnap you. Like they will see all the Oil & Gas workers and Bankers and the Jidenna complexion type of people and it is now me they will kidnap. Tah!!!. It was fun sha. Trying to sneak myself into a job to start in PH soon. Tayad of this Lagos life me thinks. The “hotel” I stayed def had some place they raise snail. Gosh!!! Give me plantain and snail sauce and they bring 6 pieces of plantain and 6 big pieces of snail. I am just staring at the snails like kilode??
  4. My hair journey. Excited much at the progress I have made so far. I have actually done more braids in the last 7 months than fixing and it is just like magic. Like my hair doesn’t break. Anddddd wait for it…. I dyed my whole head and my hair aint falling off.
  5. Any more gists? Ok bestie 1 of 2 got engaged during the time I have been off. So my first trip to the East is so so not far anymore. And my george wearing days are about to begin. Hehehe

Yeah tis that #wedding phase of one’s life when you have to attend weddings left, right and centre. I shall enjoy it!!!!

Haha, I see November.

Enjoy your night peoples!!!!