After all you sought me out….

I heard a story of a woman (Mrs. A) a while back who got into an argument with her husband and dear husband in the course of the fight made the statement “after all you sought me out”. Let’s break it down. As a single woman, Mrs. A saw a guy she liked and made the first move. Get his details and contacts him. After a while they get talking, one thing leads to another and they get married. Years on, husband decides to remind her no bi him do the chasing (as I would like to call making the first move). We can go on about how nobody forced him to marry her but…..

Now forgive me as this is my opinion. I am a “I want to be properly chased (insert wooed, courted) woman”. I am a “let the man be the man and make the first move” woman. I have been all my life and somehow Mrs. A story just made me all the more that kind of woman. However, I see and hear a lot of women make the first move/contact and am thinking what has this world turned to? Last I checked, it was the man’s job to find abi? So every time I hear someone tell me “if you like him/want him, make the first move, if you wait someone else would take him” yada yana, I just stay there thinking. Oh a lot of times I hear people tell me not to slack and go ahead jere. After all, the world is more liberal. Don’t be a slacker I hear. Mostly feel like pulling the girl’s ears and shouting “let him be the man”. Let’s be clear, I aint saying if you like a man and he likes you form (ok yeah, form a bit but not for too long) But let HIM BLADY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. That’s just me ba?

I recently had a friend buzz me. A former colleague of hers says he wants to get married and needs a decent girl (I seem to be getting that a lot these days). Like a group of friends just sat somewhere and have decided “if she won’t get a man, we would get one for her”. Anywayz, according to my friend “I don’t know why my mind went to you”. Trust me in less than a minute, my emotions ranged from anger to wanting to give her a piece of my mind (as we often say) to just ignoring that statement. She wanted me to “consider him” as he had been on her neck to get him a wife. How does this relate to making the first move? I had asked her to give me till last night cuz frankly though I had my answer I didn’t want to be accused of being too hard or tough or not open minded. She buzzes again last night and from our conversation, she wants me to make the first move. YEPA!!!!! Gist is she tells him about me BUT I contact him. Short of telling her off (which I now wish I did), I have told her not to bother. I am not interested.

I ask, is it now proper for a lady to make the first move? Forgive me, I might still be living in the medieval times so maybe that’s why I am thinking like that. Maybe just maybe I need to be enlightened. Who wants to help me out here? Cuz I would hate to make a move and get burnt sometimes in future.

The post I have been postponing just might never happen. However, I would drop some pictures that are meant to make some people jealous of the fact that I have been having fun and hanging out and having a ball and not living a boring life and ok I give up.

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And yeah it has to do with food. From Bar Campione (who make one of the best sandwiches in Lagos, 3 times the charm) to Coral Blue (first time I went there – last year, it was absolutely fantastic, second time around, not quite – my excuse though, it was quite late at night) to Ice Cream Factory (not even Coldstone can take away my love for you). And haha, Talindo Steak Place – tucked somewhere on Karim Kotun. Better service second time around (and this was also late at night – Monday). Amazing brownie they got. And yeah if you are on instagram, check out Rumnpassion (rumnpassion) and Crème Brulee Lagos (cremebruleelagos). I have tried rumnpassion’s cupcakes…. That rapturous feeling. Haven’t tried cremebrulee yet but I know it is only a matter of time. I have a sweet tooth. Shoot me. It is a miracle I aint fat.

Monday made it 15 years I lost my uncle and yesterday, 9 years I lost the man I called my maternal grandfather (my mum lost her dad many many many years ago so my grandma’s brother became my grandpa) and I just realized no matter how long a loved one has been gone, you can never forget them. The memories stay with you forever.

Have a great weekend people.

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8 thoughts on “After all you sought me out….

  1. Hahaha! Topic of life! You are not alone o my sister! How can I be chasing a man? I have tried it before though *covers face in shame* and it didn’t work out well for me. Twice in fact and those have been some crazy emosh episodes. Lol. It’s not worth it jare. Men are naturally hunters, even the gardener will carry shovel abi? Hian. Yes the world has become more liberal but some things stay sacred. As you said, babes don’t have to over form, but when you are always the one calling the guy, suggesting dates, showing up at his house, it’s time to check yourself. I think the majority of babes in this generation are not comfortable being single. That’s why we like to chase guys. The key is to give him just a little encouragement if you are interested, but if he can’t make the first move, we go dey look each other like Lucozade noni!

    1. You know I stopped short of putting “men are naturally hunters” for fear of getting chewed by feminists.

      Lol @ we go dey look each other like Lucozade noni. Told a friend once something along that line and she practically chewed me and called me a slacker. Like really you would just be looking at him? Trust me we looked at each other till we both moved on o.

      I agree a lot of people are uncomfortable with being single. I hear a lot of if I leave him what would I do ish or if he leaves or people who think they can’t do better than their current boyfriend or girlfriend. Whatever rocks their boats. Me? I want to enjoy this period and build myself up and be a better person. It aint forever.

      1. My thoughts exactly!!! Now I can stop thinking I’m weird! Lol!
        Ahh, please let me slack with an ‘unbroken’ heart abeg and with my self esteem intact ,thank you.
        Yeah, we definitely need to use our time wisely as singles, so that we can become better people in relationships and at the right time, the right guy that is willing to work for his babe will come along ;).

  2. I so agree with you! Men are hunters and want to find and treasure their catch 😉
    There’s also the risk of dealing with insecurities that come with the question; “what if I didn’t ‘seek’ him, would he have come after me?”

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