Monthly Archives: January 2014

I want to be

Got back from church pretty early today. Actually went to another parish and service was fast. And for the first time in a long while I actually had time to reflect on the sermon. Now, with all the activities on a typical Sunday for me, I usually get home and knock out. And I was fast burning out. Late last night I just decided I had to go somewhere else. Where no one knew me and I could hear the word without getting distracted. So off I went and I am happy I did. Those who know me know I over-think things (if there is a word like that) and so what I write below is a result of me thinking about the sermon (actually a recap of an earlier sermon the Pastor had preached) which led to me thinking about other things till I finally got to this writing…

I want to stand before Kings and not mean men

I want to (in the words of my ex) be so hidden in Christ; anyone who finds me must find Christ to find me

I want to honour God with my body, my substance

I want to search the scriptures with all diligence and not just take every word thrown at me (especially in Christian circles) as the law

I want to be the woman who guards her heart

I want to be the woman whose children shall arise and call her blessed

I want to be the woman whose children shall call her bestie

I want to be the woman whose husband takes delight in her all his days

I want to bring my husband good and not harm

I want to be so diligent; so meticulous, hardworking

I want to be the woman everybody knows they are welcome around her

I want to the woman who judges NOT

I want to be as a tree planted by the rivers of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever I do would prosper

I want to be excellent

Oh yes I want to be rich yet very humble

I want to be blessed and yet more a blessing

I want to be able to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves

I want to speak the truth always

Here in is the conclusion of the matter: I want to fear the Lord and keep his commands

I spoke about using this blog as a tracker (making myself accountable) right? So for those who know me (outside of this blog), if I fall short or aint doing any of the above, you have the right to call me to order. If you see me turn a blind eye to the truth, do let me know. If you see me sloppy or not exerting myself, ya have a right to whip me (not literally biko).

After all you sought me out….

I heard a story of a woman (Mrs. A) a while back who got into an argument with her husband and dear husband in the course of the fight made the statement “after all you sought me out”. Let’s break it down. As a single woman, Mrs. A saw a guy she liked and made the first move. Get his details and contacts him. After a while they get talking, one thing leads to another and they get married. Years on, husband decides to remind her no bi him do the chasing (as I would like to call making the first move). We can go on about how nobody forced him to marry her but…..

Now forgive me as this is my opinion. I am a “I want to be properly chased (insert wooed, courted) woman”. I am a “let the man be the man and make the first move” woman. I have been all my life and somehow Mrs. A story just made me all the more that kind of woman. However, I see and hear a lot of women make the first move/contact and am thinking what has this world turned to? Last I checked, it was the man’s job to find abi? So every time I hear someone tell me “if you like him/want him, make the first move, if you wait someone else would take him” yada yana, I just stay there thinking. Oh a lot of times I hear people tell me not to slack and go ahead jere. After all, the world is more liberal. Don’t be a slacker I hear. Mostly feel like pulling the girl’s ears and shouting “let him be the man”. Let’s be clear, I aint saying if you like a man and he likes you form (ok yeah, form a bit but not for too long) But let HIM BLADY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. That’s just me ba?

I recently had a friend buzz me. A former colleague of hers says he wants to get married and needs a decent girl (I seem to be getting that a lot these days). Like a group of friends just sat somewhere and have decided “if she won’t get a man, we would get one for her”. Anywayz, according to my friend “I don’t know why my mind went to you”. Trust me in less than a minute, my emotions ranged from anger to wanting to give her a piece of my mind (as we often say) to just ignoring that statement. She wanted me to “consider him” as he had been on her neck to get him a wife. How does this relate to making the first move? I had asked her to give me till last night cuz frankly though I had my answer I didn’t want to be accused of being too hard or tough or not open minded. She buzzes again last night and from our conversation, she wants me to make the first move. YEPA!!!!! Gist is she tells him about me BUT I contact him. Short of telling her off (which I now wish I did), I have told her not to bother. I am not interested.

I ask, is it now proper for a lady to make the first move? Forgive me, I might still be living in the medieval times so maybe that’s why I am thinking like that. Maybe just maybe I need to be enlightened. Who wants to help me out here? Cuz I would hate to make a move and get burnt sometimes in future.

The post I have been postponing just might never happen. However, I would drop some pictures that are meant to make some people jealous of the fact that I have been having fun and hanging out and having a ball and not living a boring life and ok I give up.

20131226_142640 20131226_144523 20131226_151533 20140107_211852 20140107_211857 20140107_212038

And yeah it has to do with food. From Bar Campione (who make one of the best sandwiches in Lagos, 3 times the charm) to Coral Blue (first time I went there – last year, it was absolutely fantastic, second time around, not quite – my excuse though, it was quite late at night) to Ice Cream Factory (not even Coldstone can take away my love for you). And haha, Talindo Steak Place – tucked somewhere on Karim Kotun. Better service second time around (and this was also late at night – Monday). Amazing brownie they got. And yeah if you are on instagram, check out Rumnpassion (rumnpassion) and Crème Brulee Lagos (cremebruleelagos). I have tried rumnpassion’s cupcakes…. That rapturous feeling. Haven’t tried cremebrulee yet but I know it is only a matter of time. I have a sweet tooth. Shoot me. It is a miracle I aint fat.

Monday made it 15 years I lost my uncle and yesterday, 9 years I lost the man I called my maternal grandfather (my mum lost her dad many many many years ago so my grandma’s brother became my grandpa) and I just realized no matter how long a loved one has been gone, you can never forget them. The memories stay with you forever.

Have a great weekend people.

To friend zone or not to?

So much has been said on this topic I would try not to over flog it.

Ok so I was heading back from the salon after been out all day (I aint driving as I type, home already) and this dude who is obviously into me starts calling. Well my excuse, I was driving. And I just kept thinking if it was fair to friend zone dude. Now here is a guy who is ok. So far at least from our conversations but…. Big BUT.. No chemistry of whatever form. I aint even willing to wanna talk or chat with him. It tires me. Plus he keeps calling like no break. At work, text messages, at home calls, weekends, calls. Habatically!!!! Give me a break. And I just thought, how do I break it to this guy without hurting him. He seems pretty delicate. First he doesn’t strike me as strong. Anyways, as I was thinking o, all along my radio was on but the station was just playing music and doing ads. Suddenly a lady calls in and apparently the topic was friend zoning. Hmmmmm.

So so, radio presenter (a guy) goes on about why a lady shouldn’t friend zone guys and then asks lady caller if after all her friend zoning, she is in a relationship and she replies in the negative. Lobatan. Presenter continues preaching as I call it. Now it would seem this is the second guy I am friend zoning in the last two months. Shoot me. If there aint no chemistry, no willingness to talk to you, some resistance, the best you can be would be in friend zone. Abi? When just your calls start to irritate me (abi am I too harsh?) what is left? Anywayz, that aint stopping my dinner with dude on Monday. Wicked yeah?

My question though is: at what point do you decide to friend zone someone? After 2 months, a number of dates, and about 3 weeks of like talking everyday as in case of dude. Or about a month of talking everyday, chats, and all as in the case of the other guy that entered that zone recently? Like when you aint just jell-ing…..

I promised a post for yesterday. I didn’t forget. Got home pretty tired, had to do my henna treatment and sleep cuz I was heading out early today and had a full day. Quick gist about the henna treatment. I used an online recipe. Mixed a bit of henna powder and conditioner – shea moisture conditioner and V05 conditioner. I absolutely loved d smell of the mix. Applied it about past 10 last night and my owl of a baby sister due to her movements woke me up about 3:11am this morning. Now as a light sleeper, all I needed was some movements. So rather than keep it for 6 hours, I had it in for about 5 hours. I need to explain that I was scared of my hair falling out as a result of the treatment. A lot of sites reported brittleness and advised a strand test before full application which I didn’t do. So maybe that was part of what woke me up sef.

Result, softer hair. Like really soft. Took me almost 30 minutes to wash the henna off completely but I came out with a much softer hair considering my last retouch was September last year. So after my programme, headed to the salon to get my Ghana weaving done.

All of the above aint anywhere close to what I intended to blog about earlier in the week. Events have made me change my posts twice now. So hopefully, the original post for this outgoing week should come up sometimes in the coming week….. Or never.

Gracias.

Happy New Year

Happy new year dearies. I trust the year had been aite so far. It would only get better.

Am I the only excited one?

So I promised to blog about my hair right. Here it is. I was one of those “10 inches no body hair” kind of people. Good length but very scanty and limp. One of those I hate weaving my hair people. If I must not more than 5-6 cornrows. So yeah you can trust I hated having to go weave my hair when I was in Primary School. By Secondary School, when I had a bit more control, weaving was restricted to once a term. Bad idea. Good healthy hair kept in a good enough protective style went bad. As I spent every weekend at the salon under the dryer. Hot dryer. In came dandruff also. Used all sorts of cream and shampoos. No luck. Keeps it under for a while and then it is back itching.

By Uni, weaving had become braiding and that was once a semester. Right before exams and off right after exams. 3-4 weeks and the thingy is off. You can trust that I hated it but had to do it. Still hate braiding my hair but I do it at least twice a year. Yeah to give a different look. Still hair worries persisted. Add the fact that it gets due and in need of a retouch like 4 weeks after the last retouch. Something I can’t remember experiencing when I was doing cornrows jeje. Now, you need to see my hair after a retouch. I am also one of those who likes to play with my hair. You know the “run your hand through your hair” people. Another thing, easy way to make me sleep, play with my hair. Enough stories already. Anyways, after a retouch, hair looks longer, easy to play with but very LIMP. Like if wind should blow now, the thingy is standing. You would never believe I just did something to it. In Uni, you can trust I always had it covered. Never let it out. So comes the weave expenses cuz silly me didn’t reuse weaves.

Long and short? I spent money on my hair to no avail. No result. Buy this cream I buy. Use this, I use. From honey to fanta to hemp to damatol to sulphur 8 to heads and shoulders, bergamot, name it. I have used. I trimmed and trimmed and treated and treated. No result. Then came 2012. I did this braids back in the UK, got to Nigeria about a month after and took it out. I shall upload the picture after my retouch that day (when I have the guts to). I almost cried at the salon. Here I was turning to an iya mi leko. Before my very eyes. My front hair was gone. Annoyingly at the sides. I always admire people on braids and quite unfortunately, I am the only one who does braids at home and ends up with my front hair off. So in “feeling among the braids clique” I ended up an iya mi leko. I couldn’t figure out what to do. Fast forward to about March/April 2013, Just Joxy looks down on me with mercy and mixed this ori (sheabutter) mix and I started applying (I shall also upload the pictures after the mix finished). Gradually, the hair started sprouting. Small small but still not where I wanted it to be.

So I “gave up” and just ignored the hair again and went back to my protective weaves. However I took a decision before then to space my retouching, 4-6 months as against 6-8 weeks. I also have a very soft hair and was advised against retouching often. Then I started working with this babe and we would gist about hair hair hair. Started visiting hair blogs and getting ideas. I took the plunge in December and bought some oils, shampoos, henna and some eroja and it has been fun trust me BUT expensive (I guess initial expenses).

Hair routine for the past 3 weeks-

1. Wash every 2 weeks (I love my weaves and can’t afford to keep my hair down for long cuz of the reasons above) so I keep my weaves for 2 weeks and remove.

2. Do hot oil treatment before a wash, then next wash, do a henna deep condition treatment (which I am doing this weekend) and then hot oil treatment the next wash. So I add the oils, cover it up over night and wash the next morning.

3. Moisture and oil hair EVERYDAY. Yes you heard right. I got a mix of argan, coconut, jojoba, castor, olive and some other oils which I apply every night. Then on Tuesdays, I apply just castor oil, on Thursdays, just coconut oil and hair cream. While I constantly moisture it and massage the hair (especially in front).

4. At last fix, I asked for more space between each layer so I can oil everyday. I would rather you layer the weave on one line than make the space between each layer so small.

5. I plan to clarify once a month. Considering the amount of oil the hair would drink through out the month.

What else do I do? That’s bascially all so far. I hope to see results when I loosen my weave this weekend. I am gonna weave though. Different look tins. One thing though, my hair doesn’t itch often. So yeah, focus is more on front hair growth as against long hair. Because I noticed most of the hair bloggers have great lengths BUT no front or lil front hair.

So there it is. I have been accused on abandoing the blog and asked to take care of my hair. Hence this very long post. The post for the week should come up on Friday. A lot of randoms and ranting as usual.

The good gets shortlisted, the excellent is chased after (paraphrased)- Friend

I am not one to do new year resolutions. In fact, tis one of the things I absolutely won’t do. But I do always know what I want to achieve every year and I write them down and that’s it.

I was encouraged more like asked sef by a friend to do a personal development plan (PDP) and I am just like wow. I know what I wanna do and have the timelines in my head. Just never thought putting it down and all would have the effect it has on me. So I might be off every now and then (I would try not to) cuz of 1 exam or the other.

I am beginning to hate this constant comparison to Olivia Pope I get from people. Oh you sway the way she does. Oh you are like Liv. Oh you are like her cuz you like Scandal. So here it is. I like the Olivia Pope character. And am sure I have confessed I started watching because I had a lot of people raving about the way she dresses (which I like by the way), I tend to excuse quite a lot of her actions (if you have heard me discuss her) BUT this babe aint no Olivia Pope and she isn’t like her in any way.

So yeah, that’s it. I guess this qualifies as my longest post yet (a post which doesn’t include lyrics to a song or any other ish).

Have a lovely day good people and Happy New Year once again.

Tada

xoxo

Agree or not?

Cheating isn’t always kissing, flirting or touching. If you gonna delete text messages so your partner won’t see them, you’re already there- Twitter