This was the caption of one of Jide Alakija’s pictures (alakijastudios) on instagram (well without the question mark). And trust me, after awwwing (beautiful picture I must say), I started to think. Yeah, shoot me. I think a lot.
So I ask some of the questions that came to mind. What do you do (as a woman) in preparing to take his name? And why is the forever part no longer the case? We see a lot of ready to take his name (because I love him, because I love to be married, because…. and many other reasons). But how many women (and even men) think about the forever part? I am beginning to think a lot of people “decide” to get married just for the fun of it (yeah they LOVE each other and that’s where it ends). When the veil is lifted and they realize it isn’t just about love, forever becomes past tense.
A colleague recently said when a man is ready, he just chooses. Sad but true. A lot of the time, people just get married because…. I may be wrong but when I see 2 incompatible individuals get married (I am talking about values, beliefs, perception of things, arguments e.t.c.) or still continue dating I am like wow, just end this already. Before it is too late. But then again, that’s me right?
I read an article on bellanaija a couple of days ago and I am just going to take the positives from it.
1. Before getting married, pray and pray and pray. It is crucial, essential, necessary. If you need to take time out and fast, please do. An older friend (well should I call him friend?) once told the story of how he fasted 90 days when he decided/felt it was time to get married. 18 years down the line, challenges and all, they are still together and would still be. Amen. Point is, when you do your part, when the challenges come, you can always go back to the person who led you there in the first instance.
2. Everybody has priorities. I saw a lot of comments abusing said babe of not having ambition/priorities because she decided to start praying to God about who to marry at 24. It is her race. She is “running” it. RUN YOURS. If that’s what is priority to her, I believe it is nobody’s business. Plus, she started praying at 24 didn’t/doesn’t (whatever English fits) she would get married 2/3 years after. What happened to banking prayers for your spouse? A lot of people don’t realize what they are enjoying in their marriages is a result of prayers banked for them.
That said, I have an exam at work today. Gotta get back to reading.