Who would fix our society, who set the rules?

Today, one of the few days I get to listen in on a radio programme for long, I hear a 17 year old SS1 boy connived with his friend to kidnap his cousin. Why? Because his uncle (his cousin’s father) “refused” to pay his school fees. So a lot of people called in with their “versions” of what might have gone wrong. Some even asked why his uncle would refuse to pay his fees, I won’t even give a reply to those people. All it just boils down to (to me sha) is we live in a broken society. A society where there are no values whatsoever. Parents refuse to teach their children. 1st point of call. Teachers refuse to teach the children (in some cases) the right thing. 2nd point of call. A lot of churches (and mosques) refuse to teach children the right thing. 3rd point of call.

2 things have broken down in Nigeria. The other can be fixed (if our leaders set their hearts to it); infrastructure. Second, which seems near impossible to fix is our value system. Children grow up these days not know what values their families have. What guides the actions or inactions of the family. What is important to the family. How would a 17 year old (I really don’t know what he is still doing in SS1 but let’s just assume he didn’t start school early) decide to kidnap someone? And he felt it was the proper thing to do. What happened to getting a job? And nobody should play the child abuse card with me. He is 17. If he could think of kidnapping, then he is no longer a child. I mean I started working every holiday I had from 17. We can blame it on what they (the children) see on TV and what have you. But seriously parents, uncles, aunties, etal, we got a lot of work to do. We need to seriously start instilling values and other important things into younger ones. Before it breaks completely. We all have the responsibility to fix this ish.

I think parents should also stop shielding these children from the realities of life. Life isn’t breakfast in bed, ice cream and pizza for lunch, and what have you for dinner. Except your father is Dangote or Adenuga or Otudeko, life would freaking not be easy. Let children learn to be as independent as possible. I mean how would I have an over 20 years old child come and report people to me and I decide to find out what the problem is (when no be say dem dey bully the child). If I allow that, then I should be prepared to hear how the spouse said something every day. How one colleague gave him/her bad eye at work. How one woman insulted her at the supermarket. How one driver splashed water on him/her one rainy day. Please I have my husband to take care of. Make every child face their own families. Let them face the harsh realities of life and become better people. By all means if you can afford all the good things, give your children. But let them know it would not always be like that. Withdraw from giving when necessary.

I had a roommate who spent 8 years for a 4 year course not because of carry over but because she had to pay her way through school. Her irresponsible father (story for another day) stopped paying her fees in her 3rd year. She faced life squarely and came out tops. Forget that she graduated with me (4 years her junior). I am sure she won’t spoil her children. It is amazing when I see parents who didn’t have it so easy decide since they didn’t their children must not suffer same fate. Who said by showing them life isn’t easy, they are suffering the same fate?

Moving on, who sets the rules? Who decides the standard? Who determines who should be called aje butter and aje pako? Who set/ sets stereotypes? I see this babe with well manicured nails and a car and I just assume she can’t do anything, or she has had it so easy, she won’t understand. Or that dude and just assume butter can’t melt in his mouth. I am rambling I know. So I would stop here.

I wish every time some bad thing happens, people stop playing the race/tribe/religion/nationality card. And just take the culprit as he/she is. A person who isn’t insane (that insanity ish doesn’t werk for me, mo sorry) who premeditates (sat down, thought about it) and decided to do something barbaric and inhuman.

In more interesting news, baby sis is a graduate. Yayyy. 4 outta 4 done….

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