Monthly Archives: April 2013

You meet that one person

I have a friend. Each session in Uni, started with a new boyfriend. She never had the same boyfriend for 2 years. 4 years in Uni equaled 4 boyfriends. She never seemed to be able to keep a relationship for long. She is now married. To a guy she dated for 5 years. You meet that one person.

I have another. Had 3 boyfriends in our 4 years. She is getting married in August. To a guy she has dated for a while.

I have another yet. 2 boyfriends in 4 years. She is also getting married in August.

I have yet still one more. She couldn’t do long distance relationships. In fact, she broke up with a couple of guys because of distance. Once, her boyfriend decided to proceed on his masters and she ended it. She felt she couldn’t do the distance. For another, he was in Nigeria but as school was in Ogun State, she lived in Ibadan and he lived in Lagos (geographically these areas are so close and as such shouldn’t be a problem), she ended it. She is currently in a 5 year relationship with a guy who currently lives in the US (went for his masters 2 years into the relationship). And they are still very much together.

Once again, you meet that one person.

What is it about that person that changes everything?

Musings and lessons learnt?

So here I am, putting down things that occurred to me during the week (some I already knew but they never hit me the way they did during the course of the week).

1. It matters what people say about you when you are gone. This Baroness Thatcher issue again. My knowledge of her for long was just that I knew she was once Prime Minister, the first female and yada yana. Well, asides the fact that I grew up being called Thatcher or Iron Lady. I just wonder, if she wasn’t firm/strict/unshaken (put your preferred English), would people talk about her the way they do? We are usually told, it doesn’t matter what people say/think about you. I think it does. That said, be rest assured, you cannot satisfy everybody. And not all people would say nice/good/positive (again if this doesn’t do you, put what your prefer) things about you. Above all, what matters is what heaven says about you.

2. I had a conversation with a friend some months back about singlehood (is there a word like that? Ok I have added it to the dictionary) and I asked if it ever occurred to her maybe she wasn’t meant to get married. As I expected, she got all so Christianise with the God forbid, Olorun maje, not my portion ish. Not like I blame her though. I completely forgot that conversation. Till worshipandswag’s post on destined to be single. And I just smiled. I am of the opinion that not everybody would get married (same way not everybody would have children). I believe the African culture places so much “importance” (note the quotes, marriage is important but not overtly important, at least not the way most people take it like their lives depend on it and if they don’t get married, their world aint ok) on marriage. Unnecessary importance and as such for a lot of people (especially women) it is inconceivable to think they would NEVER get married. A lot of us cannot just fathom it. Don’t get me wrong, it is completely and absolutely legitimate for any man or woman to desire to get married. Even God realised that man shouldn’t be alone and decided to give him a help, meet for him. I still believe though that contrary to what a lot of people believe, not everybody was created to get married.

3. A few of us were discussing before our church’s single fellowship yesterday (and somehow everybody else was what we term a matured single, asides me and the single fellowship leader who is very married) and this woman (the leader) was gisting us about when she had her marriage counselling. She said their counsellor told her that for a lot of people (once again, women especially), we go into marriages with a preconceived idea of what we want our marriages to be like (not that it is bad, but we all know the danger of unmet expectations right? I don’t need to dwell on that). She said we build towers, block on block, brick on brick and then make the man the roof. And then the shaking starts. He rocks it once, small cracks appear, we patch it. He rocks it the second time (now the cracks widen). We patch and glue and do all sorts. And then one day, the whole tower comes crumbling down, with the weight of the man (the roof) on the woman (or man, depends on who built the tower). Whatever happens after then, na only God fit save the pesin. Lesson is make God the roof. Your husband/wife would disappoint. There would be rocking but with Him at the top, all is well. The person you are most sensitive to is the easiest to disappoint you.

4. Never cease to appreciate your friends and family. I felt for so long I have stopped appreciating and thanking family members and friends. Like I always felt I needed to have a reason to say thank you to them. Well, I do know now, I don’t need a reason. For just putting up with me alone, it is enough to be thankful for. iJoke. I am the nicest person to be around. In my head. You don’t need a reason to appreciate people. So a VERY BIG THANK YOU to everybody who reads this blog, to friends, to family, to friends who are more than friends, to friends who have become family, to everybody. Thank you. E se pupo. And no, I am not dying.

5. I had a hair mishap this night. I was told mixing egg with some many tinz helps hair growth, strengthens your hair and all. And as I am on a hair growth journey, I decided to try it out. Got out of the bathroom to discover my hair was “glued” together. This wasn’t a “it is tangled” level. It was like someone poured glue on my head. After 30 seconds of freaking out (and having my sisters laugh their lives out), I rushed back in and started washing the life out of it. Well, lost quite a lot of hair sadly but not that bad. Lesson: when you wanna try such stunts, go to a salon and get someone to make the mix for you, that way, you have someone to sue if anything goes wrong. iKid. The main lesson is, it worked for Mimi no mean say e go work for Deronk. Ik does it that way no mean say the day Kc do am, e no go get K-leg. That said, I am scared I would wake up later in the day with no hair on my head. And no, I won’t upload pictures of me bald (if that ever happens). I love the egg mix smell though. Just doubt I am gonna try it again.

In other more interesting news, we have a gown. Lols. One of my “brides” has picked her gown. Really excited. Can’t put up pictures yet. You shall see it in a few months. However, how do I get bride B to get more serious about this planning.

In other other news, I see some people owe us some posts. If you owe us (blogsville, a few posts, raise your hands). Ok I see a couple of hands. One male, one female. Did I mention names? Be guided o.

In unrelated news (well, indulge me, no be news), you can never tell a person’s true character until you work (or walk) with them.

Happy Sunday people.

Note to a stranger

Note 1

Dear stranger in teal trousers, it was nice of you to pay for my meal the other day. Such generosity is rare these days. I loved the way you rocked the teal trousers. I could borrow some tips from you. However, kindly keep it down when you are on the phone. We really don’t care how much millions you are willing or not willing to pay for a service. Also it is pretty rude to snatch another’s cash in the name of trying to catch one’s attention. Try “hello” and take it up from there next time. Thirdly, thou shalt not stare. That said, hoping to run into you sometimes soon.

Note 2

Dear tall guy, I was wondering if we had met before when you greeted me as I walked out of the supermarket last week. Strange yeah as I don’t recall ever meeting you. But I smiled and replied. And I was hoping and seriously praying it would stop there. That you won’t behave the way I imagined you would. Alas, I was wrong. Weren’t you taught not to talk to strangers? Did you expect me to wait and talk to you in a near empty car-park?

Note 3

Aunty (as we have to call you), it was nice meeting a new aunty after 2x years. Seems till I die I would always meet some relation or the other. However you still remain a stranger as I cannot even recall your name or face or the connection. Don’t you think though it is improper to talk “bad” about someone on his wedding day? You decided to give me the history of a cousin (I knew not until that day). How much of a bad child he is and how but for my father you wouldn’t have come for the wedding. I would rather you didn’t because you have succeeded in distorting my opinion. For all I know, he might not even be what you said he is but I can’t see him now and view him favourably. On his wedding day for that matter. Kindly keep your opinions to yourself and let me form mine about people.

In other news, am I the only one who thinks people are just getting worked up over this Margaret Thatcher’s issue. Can we just respect the dead and move on? All these “Ding Dong the Witch is dead” and the likes are they necessary? No matter how bad a person was, they got relations who are mourning, can we just let them grieve?

In other other news, a friend said during the week that guys are monitoring spirits. Na only guys dey stalk?

And Happy Belated Birthday to Angelsbeauty… Many more blogging years.

Happy Sunday people and have a blessed week.

27 dresses

I promise. I won’t turn this blog into a wedding blog. Just trying to “document” my wedding planning experience as well as ask for your opinions especially those who recently planned weddings in Nigeria.

As some of you know, I have 2 bridesmaid duty in August and I am as excited as I am scared. I am helping both of them plan. My head is spinning already. Whew. Drew up a budget template in one night (I know right, templates plenty online; just didn’t find one that covered the full Nigerian wedding). Anywayz, that has been sorted. Now bridesmaids dresses, bride’s gown, colours, make-up and all. There is so much to do in so little time. I think I am going to stick to planning mine for a year. That way I get to take my time planning right? And not rushing/having so much to do in a short time. Working on the pre-wedding photoshoot at the moment. Which brings me to my first issue/challenge. I am all of pre-wedding photoshoot, I am just against releasing the pictures before the wedding. You ask so why the photoshoot ba? I dunno o. I just don’t wanna see my picture on any party favour or souvenir. Is that wrong? I am so gonna guard my pictures and his jealously. Except you find individual pictures sha o and photoshop, you aint gonna find a picture of both of us. Till after the wedding.

Issue number 2. How do I tell my mum I got bridesmaid duties. She don already talk say make me and my elder sister no do bridesmaid again. Issue number 3. Cost of dresses. I have spent my last 2 free Saturdays (I do one Saturday on, one Saturday off work) at one wedding or the other. Fortunately no aso-ebis so far. However, my next 3 weddings involve aso-ebi or bridesmaid dresses. The cost is killing yo! Issue 4. Getting the brides to sit down and let us work on these budgets. They seem to think we still have time. Enough issues for one post.

I saw a picture of a bride and her bridesmaids wearing similar gowns (same ivory colour, lacy design and all) on instagram. What happened to nobody wearing white/ivory asides the bride? You are allowed to wear any other colour or mix white/ivory with something else. Be rest assured, you wear white/ivory for my wedding? Don’t worry, the bouncers and MOPOL know what to do. Lol.

I learnt some “new skill” over the weekend. Had 2 weddings (one on both sides of the family) and since I was mum’s driver, I had to attend both. So mums and I did her side’s first. Went to the church and ensured we saw her half brother, step mum and other family members and took of to join pops at his cousin’s own. Church service at that already started so we had to wait till after the service and ensured we were seen. Skill is if you have more than one wedding, get to the church service early and ensure you are SEEN by those who need to know you came. Take off after the service and head to the reception of the other. Ensure also that they SEE you. I grew up believing the solution was to split. Mums goes for one, pops goes for one. But if the weddings are in the same state/area, just show face and ensure the important people see you o.

Later went to pick a friend at another wedding and heard how some friend of the groom proposed to his girlfriend (with the help of the compere). If you try that at mine ehn?

Now to my polls.

*sigh oh sigh* Who else thinks what I am thinking about Scandal? Jake-Olivia-Fitz angle. Your thoughts please.

I should be watching the Manchester Derby right? Alrighty, am out. Maybe I can catch the last few minutes.

Tada

I am a confam foodie.

Ok. Those who know me know I LOVE food. But I don’t just love food, I love to cook. Sadly, I most times end up cooking and I can’t eat what I cooked, whilst it is still hot at least.

So I was at work on Tuesday and was craving something that had chocolate and hot coffee. Actually I had been craving something chocolatey since Saturday morning. So I stopped at a supermarket, picked up some items and headed home. Got home only  to discover the mixer was bad. Well, with a stiff neck and aching arms, I found a big bowl, omo rogun and mixed my life out. I wee only show you the result. Don’t ask for my recipe.

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Chocolate Fudge and Coffee
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Heart shaped chocolate fudge

I left work tonight to make ugwu. Well, I was meant to download scandal as soon as I got in but ugwu seemed more interesting. I made this the normal abi na usual way. The only difference from what most people do is I used olive oil rather than palm oil. Looks drab. I wanted to add shrimps but the supermarket didn’t have. And they were charging me an arm and a leg to buy tiger prawns. Now I wish I closed eyes and bought it. The Ijebu in me screamed NO!!!!! Woulda made a big difference. Anyways, I need to make some people hungry this night.

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Nicely cut ugwu. I really need to learn to cut this ish myself
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Finished work 1. Plain efo
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Finished work 2. With egusi
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Dished out

Ok. So daz all. You ku no send me make I put food pictures or blog about food right?

On a serious note, what is it about a woman that makes men (close friends, brothers) fight? I was at the salon this evening and as usual, we had to watch African? or Africa Magic (I dunno which one it is biko and sincerely I don’t care what it is called). And the story sha was, two friends like a girl and yada yana. Neither knew it was the same girl (yeah right. You never thought to see your best friend’s girl’s picture at least abi?). Sha and sha, as at when I left the salon these “friends” have gone as far as beating each other and one even killed the other’s body guard. And we started asking ourselves say friends wey grow up together, don dey do business since, moni no separate them, moni no make dem fight, na woman destroy the friendship. *sigh*. Things women can do!!!!!!

Some people wanna spoil Scandal for me…. God is watching you. By the way, am the only one getting bored watching Scandal? There are just days I feel, what the heck, can you get it over with? Like the story is dragging. I had the same feeling about Revenge and I don’t even remember there is a show by that name any longer. Any interesting series to recommend? And please don’t say Suits. Bores the life out of me.

Have a lovely weekend people. And congrats to my friends and cousin getting married tomorrow. God bless your unions.

Tada