Monthly Archives: March 2013

Happy Easter dear friends

Happy Easter people. Lets all remember the reason for this season. I was at this lovely Easter programme yesterday and was my mind blown? Just what I needed to get into Easter “mood”.

I saw this on pinterest yesterday and thought to share it. Well, a lot of things blew my mind yesterday and this was one such thing.

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Dear mother (sure she would be my mother too), thanking you in advance. A friend once said “if you see a responsible guy, be sure that his mother, sister(s), aunt or some female has “worked” on him”. That said, I always wonder why people refer to their spouse’s parents and relatives using -in law. I eavesdropped on an older friend’s conversation once (oh well, he was sitting right next to me, was I meant to move?). And all through the phone call, he kept saying daddy, mummy and all so I assumed he was talking to his parents. Conversation ends and I asked (maybe God just wanted to reveal something to me since I already thought they were his parents). So I asked if he was talking to his parents or his wife’s and he said his wife’s and am like you guys sounded so chummy and like old friends. He said “they are my parents also”.

Prayer: dear Lord, give me parents-in-law I can call my father and mother. Give me a mother from my husband. Give me brothers (yes, especially brothers) and sisters I can call my own.

Just wanna share something from yesterday’s programme. Isaiah (before the cross, looking at a shadow of the cross) said “by His stripes we are healed”. Peter (after the cross) said “by His stripes, we were healed. Somehow I never saw it like that. Especially since I and am sure quite a number of people tend to quote Isaiah’s not Peter’s. Done deal. Set free. Price paid. It is FINISHED people. FINISHED.

Have a lovely day and get all the rest you can. And not be like some of us who are working all through the holiday.

Cheers.

Liebster Blog Award from Sharon

Yayyy. I was nominated for the Liebster Award… Brief intro (copied from Sharon sha).

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The Liebster Award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers. To accept the award, you have to follow the rules, which are as follows:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. List 11 random facts about yourself
  3. Answer the questions they have asked you
  4. Nominate 11 other people
  5. Ask the nominees 11 questions
  6. And let the nominees know you have nominated them

So… Here we go

1. Thank you Sharon Salu for nominating me. I think I was nominated once but not sure I answered the questions. So thank you again for nominating me. Sharon blogs at SharonSalu and Bakwai Photo Journal. You really need to visit the Bakwai blog..

2. I have done a 30 random facts about me once. Bet, let me do this:

a. I am a shoe lover…. Like I can spend all my life savings on shoes… iKid but I do love shoes sha… Once had about 30 pairs. Gave out almost half (some weeks back) and yet am hitting 30 shoes again soon. I was once threatened that whatever shoe doesn’t fit into a room would be thrown into the BQ.

b. I love love love Emeli Sande. She is like Britain’s Alicia Keys (much better to me sha).

c. I wear abi na use glasses. And I hate them… This is the second time I am being made to wear them. First in JSS2. I stopped using them on purpose. Now I am back to wearing them. Makes me look funny.

d. Cooking gives me pleasure. Can one get an orgasm from cooking? Like seriously though, I love to learn new recipes. So please hit me up if you got recipes biko. Plus I am a confirmed foodie… Yet I am not fat.

e. My daughter’s name (and yes, I must have a mini-me) would be Isabella Olatanwa (I have to steal your name O.S Hughes).

f. I hate people reporting me to others. If you have an issue with me, come tell me. Max we would fight and not talk to each other for a while. But you decide to tell someone else? I also hate people saying stuff about me. I hate “she said, she did talk”.

g. I wanna own (or ride) in a Maybach 62. If you are being led to dash me one sha… I don’t mind. Asides that, I would love to own a Range Rover Evoque or a G-wagon.

h. Easiest way to make me sleep? Play with my hair. That said, nobody, absolutely nobody is gonna touch this hair from now on.

i. I take delight in trimming my hair. Now I define trimming as looking for the shortest length (when combed backwards) and cutting everything to that length.

j. I can be very nasty (maybe I should say blunt/frank/principled). Beneath this smiling face, I could be ruthless. I therefore just smile when people say very nice things about me. If only they know what I am capable of doing.

k. Maybe not so random fact, I love planning and organizing stuff. Like I just lose it when I hear someone has an event or something. I just feel I should get involved. Is that a good or bad thing?

3. Questions asked:

a. If you could rescue only one personal item from a burning house what would it be, and why? I dunno o. Can I take more than one personal item? I think I can take 2 right? My phone and Bible (too many things in it I can’t afford to lose)

b. Which would you prefer to have this year – 10,000 more page views or 100 more followers? 10,000 more page views I think. I would love both sha.

c. Of all the blog themes why did you choose your current blog theme? I saw it and fell in love immediately. Had this award like feel.

d. What is the one thing (animate or inanimate) that you are terrified of? That I shalt tell.

e. If you could teleport yourself to any part of the world right now, where would it be? Barbados. No. Malta.

f. Who is your favorite Nigerian comedian and why? Bovi. dude just cracks me up. Can’t explain.

g. If you could only eat one type of dish for a whole month, what would it be? Iyan with efo elegusi and ila asepo (pounded yam + efo elegusi + okro).

h. What is the title of your last blog post (you can insert link here)? She is stunning yeah? Lol

i. If you won $1,000,000 what is the first thing you would spend on or invest in? Lips sealed yo!

j. When you get angry what do you do to calm yourself down? Leave the scene.

k. Do you believe in life after death (explain your reason)? Let me apologize to my Catholic and Muslim readers in advance. I believe in life after death and by life after death, I mean eternity in Heaven or Hell (your choice). There is nothing like purgatory or people being kept somewhere whilst their relatives pray for them to be allowed into Heaven or people coming into the world in another form or what have you. Life after death is eternity with God or eternity with the Devil. You decide. Should I continue?

4. I nominate (not sure I have 11 people that haven’t been nominated before so some people would be nominated again o. Mo sorry gan)

a. Bakwai Blog

b. Single Nigerian

c. Weird Observer

d. Kiki’s

e. Just Joxy

f. Adara

g. O.S Hughes

h. Heavenly WordPress

i. The Wordsmythe

j. Worship and Swag

k. Zingerthots

5. Ask the nominees 11 questions:

a. This isn’t a question though. Complete this “If there is any justice in the world…”

b. What do you think about Kerry Washington’s character in Scandal? Oh yes I had to bring her in.

c. Continuing from b, Shonda Rhimes and Tyler Perry, what do you think about them and their representation of black folks in their series and movies?

d. Can Nigeria’s problems be solved?

e. A girl or a boy as your first child (and why)?

f. Medical or Law Drama?

g. What calms you down?

h. Your views about sex before marriage.

i. Can you date/marry a friend’s ex?

j. Favourite food?

k. Do you believe in life after death (explain your reason)?

That said, The Wordsmythe has a new book out already (launched on the 8th). Closer than a brother is available on Whispers Home, Amazon UK and Amazon US. Grab your copy now.

xoxo.

She is stunning yeah? Lol

So I am using the time I should spend sleeping to blog. It has been a very hectic BET fun weekend. Finally wore my fascinator. And I must admit (even if I have to do it myself, I looked good). Ok so I wee share some pictures.

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Some said I looked Briish. Others, prim and proper. Well, I was able to achieve the look I was going for and am glad. Thanks O.S Hughes and Mide Fascinators. I gas do an article of Mide sometimes soon.

I am a slacker. I got so many “make you no come back empty”, “no come back without man”. Sorry guys, I came back without one number sef. Lol. I was shy. Scoped a guy bet he is a friend’s younger brother. I don’t do friends’ siblings.

All in all, I had fun. And the door of weddings don open. Only yesterday, an ex-roommate and another classmate say dem wan marry in August. Consecutive Saturdays. One in Lagos, and the other in Abuja. And they both want me on their train. What part of I no dey do bridesmaid don’t people understand? Things we do for love. Please advise. Should I or should I not? I should put a “but” in the “bridesmaid contract” right? I get to pick the style for my dress. I mean, why spend so much only for the bride to decide what I would wear? I doubt if I have worn any of my bridesmaid dresses after the wedding because they aint wearable. Why should I spend as much as $150 and I end up dashing a maid or someone the dress? Why do brides decide on unflattering dresses sef? I am of the “bride picks the colour (shade/hue), material but let the maids pick an acceptable style” school of thought. Lucky bridesmaids I would have. Second clause. I don’t want no bridezilla. Any bride wey shout at me, ehn…. Ok…

Tis hard typing on here. And I gas be out in 30 minutes. And I have barely slept. Soooooooo

Tada.

Happy Palm Sunday and Happy Easter in advance. Remember the reason for the season.

Cheers.

Weddings, wickedness and other things

Ok, this post has no head or tail, so ya all should bear with me. And my editors (you know yourselves), feel free to buzz ehn..

Tis wedding season. Yayyest…. I dunno what people mean by wedding season but I am assuming it is the period between March and December as there aint that much weddings in January and February (I think I prefer to wed either in January, April, September or December though; why, I dunno). So the wedding I have been raving about is a week away and am freaking excited. I dunno o. No bi me ku dey wed. I guess maybe because she is the first amongst my friends from Uni getting married. At least we finally have someone to bell the cat.. I dey wait all my childhood friends. Taking their sweet time yeah? I guess the fact that I get to see people I haven’t seen in almost 5 years also adds to the excitement. I know tis gonna be a very busy and stressful day. Engagement, church and reception all on the same day. I hate being stressed yet I am so looking forward to it. Plus I get to launch my fascinator… Waiting patiently for tomorrow (when I get to pick up my fascinator or facilitator as a dear friend called it; I am sowie, I just had to put that up)… Would put up pictures sha…

And like everybody was waiting for L to lead, got a wedding 2 weeks after that (my cousin), another in May and then a break till August… I mustu buy aso-ebi utunu (not like I like them or would do aso-ebi for mine). I am just all so excited yo!!! The sad part though is the when would you marry?, what happened? questions. *sigh*. I was at L’s bridal shower yesterday (twas very lovely, thanks for asking; lol). The highlight? The screaming. Wow, we have all grown. Low point. The what happened questions. Fortunately, nobody asked me anything till it was over. Tried not to feel too sad sha considering what date it was. Well till I got back home and laid on my bed. *sigh*. Moving on.

Why do we delight in being mean to others? To make life hard especially for the less privileged? We have this lovely lady who cleans the office. Mid-March, she is yet to be paid for February. Meanwhile, the company has been paid since 26th February. We later find out that the money was given to her supervisor and she “decided” to keep it with her. Why? Why?? Why??? To think this lady earns less than 20k. Wickedness. Be nice people. BE NICE.

In other news, I made ugwu today. It has been over 5 months I cooked. I miss living alone yo!!!! I miss having someone to cook for. I hope to continue sha… BBC recipes has become my favourite site now. Wish I found egusi and panla to use. Well, next time. By the way, this is strike 2. You know yourself. Food war. Game on!!!!!

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Waiting patiently for my hair ish. You know yourself o. Come and enjoy this heat with us. Am I the only one who finds myself drinking as much as 4 bottles of water in a day? For someone who usually never finished even 1 bottle? This weather is killing me. I gas return to my town. Manchester. I am Mancunian you know? *tongue out*. Heat wave wey no get part 2.

Oh and I have finally passed the “I can’t leave my hair undone for more than a week stage”. I never *tears* thought I would *tears* survive *tears* but here I am, *tears* 3 weeks after *tears* and the saloon no longer appeals to me *big smile* … I hope my weaves won’t waste sha. Should make my wigs this weekend. I pray baby sis doesn’t see this. She thinks I am falling her hand and that I am not “positioning” myself. What does she know?

We live in a very small world. The rate at which I meet someone who knows someone I know these days is getting out of hand biko. I fear I might have been rude to one of my boo’s relatives in the past and it would haunt me. Biko, I apologize to those I have been nasty to in the past o. Took only a picture of L and her boo for me to find out a few other friends knew our in-law.

Like I said, this post no get head or tail. Still have a lot more I wanna post about but I should end here. When would all these bombings stop though?

Oya, over to my editors….

Quick one, Adele or Emeli Sande? Who do you prefer?

Iya ni wura

What can I say about a woman so loving yet major strict. A woman awake so early in the morning, on her knees praying for her husband and children. The one who taught me to cook, clean and every household chore possible. Who always said “omo kan kan o ni je ki wan gbe mi sepe lojo iwaju” (paraphrased, she would train us such that nobody would abuse her in future if we decide to go our own way). The one who taught me the Bible. Taking her time to explain passages to us. The one who sat and did my assignments with me (well, I chopped a lot of slaps and beatings in between sha). Never stopped begging and trying to make me a better person. From assignments to dissertations. Got whatsoever material I needed to do any project or assignment handed down. The one who taught me to be independent. Even though she knew nothing about Chemistry and Physics and Technical Drawing, she never stopped sitting with me to do assignments and even when she couldn’t, getting someone who could help me out. A woman forever “pestering” me about marriage *sigh*. The perfect home maker.  The one who watched every TV program, explained and asked what we learnt from them. It was that bad. Or good? The one who gave me her shoes to wear (well that’s what happens when you wear the same shoe size as your mum. Abi na?)

The one who showed me what it means to be a woman. I could go on and on and on and on…. Just wanna say, mama Deronk, twinnie mi, I love you more (even when I do not show it). All through our fights, you never gave up on me (always striving to bring me back to the right path). All through my surgeries, sitting down and gisting with me. Trying to get my mind off the pains. Even when I was down and out, making me snap out of it. Just one call, just one word. You just know how to do it. How to make me smile through my pains. Waiting for the day I can call you maami. Grateful for all the slaps, the beatings, the sleepless nights… Sorry for the times I ever doubted and stopped short of asking “na you born me?” Thank you for being on my case like forever. Lord knows I have a very big shoe to fill. My best friend, my sister, my lover, my twinnie. I dunno what I can and would do without you. May God keep you many many many many more years for me.

My grandma, the one who showed me the strength of a woman. My aunty and great-aunt, the ones who have never stopped praying for me, scolding yet ever loving and the ones who “assure” me I can never be fat (oh yes I believe them. Lol).

I just wanna say Happy Mothers’ Day to my mama, to all the mothers in my life, aspiring mothers and women generally. Just Joxy, I see you. Happy Mothers’ Day.

I leave with this.

Btw, tis Maami (my grandma’s birthday in 4 days)… So excited… As always…

Can you move in with your wife?

I had this interesting conversation with a driver at work yesterday. We were at our store and then saw some furniture a woman brought. He then started gisting me about how big her house was, she was single and all. And how he hopes she finds a man, but that men won’t want a made wife. So I asked him if he were a man, would he marry her and move in (because I didn’t see how she would wanna move out of her house, but then what do  I know?). His reply shocked me. He said he would move. I asked again (here is an uneducated man) if his wife built a house or bought a house, would he move in with her and he replied in the affirmative. Hmmmm I thought. I then asked why. He said (now I am paraphrasing because this conversation was in Yoruba) he believes in a relationship/marriage, one of both parties would be richer than the other. If his wife was rich enough to buy/build a house,why shouldn’t he move in with her. He felt if he didn’t it meant he wasn’t happy for her and didn’t want her progress. I was just there with my mouth opened. He said as long as he still had her respect and she wasn’t rubbing it into his nose. He said he would let even his parents and the children know it was his wife’s/their mother’s house. The conversation had me thinking “how many men (African men especially) think like this?”. How many women would own houses and still be submissive and show respect to their husbands.

We hear stories on radio and TV about such issues. My wife built a house she didn’t tell me. She has some money somewhere I didn’t know about. And how it has led to the end of relationships and marriages.

I remember a conversation after house fellowship some weeks back. Well when you attend a fellowship where everybody else is married and you and another lady are the only singles, you get to hear a lot of marriage gists. So this man was talking about how in his OWN house, he felt the cook, house help, drivers and other helps didn’t respect him because they felt he wasn’t the one paying their salaries. Madam collected the money from him and distributed. The helps didn’t know that. So one month, he decided to show them who the man of the house was and withheld salaries for 2 weeks. Well, the end of the story is that they all started to comport themselves. Why did I add this story sef? I dunno.

When did people start calling their fiance/fiancee partners? This young man came to the showroom one day and kept talking about how he needed his partner’s approval before buying anything and all. And as he kept saying partner, I kept thinking “is he gay” or is he co-habiting? I had to ask who this partner was and discovered he was engaged. *smh*.

I said my hair was red right? Sorry, I am colour blind. Tis wine.

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Some people say it is long. I beg to differ. Shoulder length isn’t long. Well that might be my fault sha. Years of chopping just to make it grow and remove split ends have done “damage” to the length. As per last picture, you see where my issue is now. I need that front to GROW. Help a sister.

Have a great weekend people.

Gracias.

Rant 101

Took me 2 weeks to decide whether to rant here.

Wetin she wan rant about you ask. Customer service is our dear own country Nigeria. It has reached an all time high and frankly something needs to be done.

Where do I start from? Is it the banks? I was at GTB Lekki sometimes in December to apply for a new debit card as my old card would expire January ending. My conversation with the CS lady was something of this sort. I explained all the card is expiring, I need a new one ish. She gives me a form to fill, requesting that my card be transferred to the Lekki branch (as my account is domiciled) in another branch. I asked how long it would take and she said before the end of the month (citing Christmas and New Year holidays as possible reasons for a delay). Alrighty no problem. I also asked to open a dollar account and specifically requested a debit card, filled the form and all and asked again when that would be ready. End of the month I hear. And I left.

Fast forward January 11, 2013. Not a call or a mail asking me to pick up either cards. So I head to the bank. And the young lady tells my cards are not ready. If you know me, I hate being kept on cruise. So I asked what the issue was and why I was given a December ending it would be ready assurance and why nobody thought to inform me that my naira card wasn’t ready. Ok, we move on to the dollar account and card issues and she says I didn’t fill a form requesting for card. And am just there staring at her like so all the forms I filled that day and all the ticking dollar mastercard was for fun? The rest of the conversation was something like this.

CS: The account doesn’t come with a card usually. You need to fill another form to request for the card.
Me: I filled more than five forms the last time I came. And I mentioned that I needed a card for the account. Yet in your wisdom, you decided not to include the required form when passing a zillion of forms for filling.

Where do they get these people from?

Or when I went to their Chevron branch to cash a cheque. 150k o and am still there in a near empty banking hall 30 minutes after. So I tell the teller “don’t you think it is pretty bad that it is taking this long to cash a cheque for this amount”? His reply “no it isn’t”. And am like seriously? You actually opened your mouth to reply me?

Or should I talk about a more recent incident. Cakes and cream VI office. This just made me end an almost 8 years relationship. I order, do a transfer into your account and everyday I called to confirm if you have received payment you tell me you haven’t. So I am on GTB and Zenith banks case trying to trace where the money is. Meanwhile, the money had actually been transferred into your account. You wake me up at past 7 (note they don’t resume until 9) the day before the cake was needed, made me run to the bank to pay (2nd payment) and the 1st payment was actually in your account. Fast forward 2 days after (I spent the whole of the day before calling and they didn’t pick my calls), I was kept on hold for almost 30 minutes because “they were trying to trace it”. I then tell them I would call later in the day, only for the lady attending to me to reply “sorry ma, we would get back to you. Wait, my colleague just informed me that she has seen the first payment”. Really? The said colleague was where when I was kept on hold that long? Ok, please transfer my money back into my account abi? We spent another week plus almost 3k credit trying to get the money back. And all they kept saying was sorry. Oh I forget, the Friday, they finally “found” the money, I was told I would get my money back latest COB on Monday. Tuesday afternoon, I call and am told “ma, it is not yet COB on Tuesday na. Wait a bit more”.

I am giving a watered down version of these incidences. If I did a post when they happened, well I doubt I would have sha….

Anywayz, rant over….

In more beautiful news, met Angelsbeauty yesterday. Finally. Yayyyest. 😘😍. Twas great seeing you….

And I know I haf carry last but I finally heard Brymo’s Good morning song last week. Great song yo…. Question though. Was it ayonge or a young girl he said?

N.B: not sure I mentioned that I dyed my hair red (mid length to the end). Twas meant to be brown but as that part of my hair was already some shade of brown, it come out red. Now am doing the castor oil challenge, I just want my hair to grow and breathe. Have some body. Taking a break from fixing and all (I wonder how long I would survive without weaves). Need good wigs sha… Any ideas on where to buy? Already got a place to make. Just wanna compare prices. Oh and am def making a wig in Olivia’s style…..