I begged God to die

I got your attention with that title right? Lols. Nothing serious. Just remembered the story of Jonah earlier today and how he asked God to kill him.

Now,  Lord , take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live. (Jonah 4:3)

I was at that point in life late last year. I literally begged God to take my life. Moved from begging when He didn’t to praying for rapture to come like yesterday. *le sigh*. I am alright people. It was just a phase.

Remembered that today and how often we get judgmental or because we don’t know how someone feels about something bad that happened, how easily we make comments that could hurt the person (not like we intended to). I am one of those who anytime Jonah’s story came up or I read it, I scoffed and raised my nose. I asked if he was God and why he should be angry God didn’t destroy a city. I wondered and said he should have killed himself na. Abi? If God no kee you, kee yourself.

I recently stumbled on some posts on suicides, depression and all and remembered my reaction to a couple of suicides last year (relationship related suicides). Forgive me, I asked what they were thinking. Couldn’t they have considered the family they left behind? Why kill yourself because of a man/woman? And all and all. This morning I was reminded I was no different. No difference between me who asked God to kill me and the one who decided to do the killing herself/himself. And as I thought about all that all I could sing was

Imela, Imela, Okaka, Onyekeruwa
Imela, Imela, Ezemo.

I remembered how easy it is/was to judge others. A friend had her wedding cancelled recently (groom to be called it off a month to the wedding) and another friend actually said “I hope she moves on fast” and all sorts and I just sat there thinking “na so e easy?” Just pray and thank God you aint in her shoes. For once I understood how she felt, because I have been in her shoes. I have had a lot of people to tell me things in the last 3 months and am just there thinking “it is so easy for you to talk”. Then I also thought, what if these people who killed themselves had similar conversations and had people tell them the usual.  And they just couldn’t get past that phase? There are days people tell me things and I just cut them off or tell them point blank, don’t tell me that, you don’t know how I feel. So easy for you to say. Now I know what it is like. I hope never to “judge” people that way any longer. Offer your support and gauge the person’s mood before you start talking. Same thing with when someone loses a loved one. I usually don’t call or say anything. I just go see the person and hug or just sit with the person. Not because I can’t say the usual, it is well and all but cause I won’t. At least not when it is still fresh. A lot of people are struggling. In the spirit of the season (no be love season we dey?), show some love.

Moving on to interesting and happy things. It is Valentine’s day right. Happy for all of una. Never been a freak (see reasons here). However, I am happy a lot of people are happy. Good thing about having all sisters is somehow, something always enters the house. I see cake in the house already. Should I say my boss “val-ed” me? She gave me shoes this morning. Did I write it on my forehead that I am a shoe lover? First gave me a whole gift bag of jewellery over the weekend. Now shoes? What should I expect next? Na female no worry.

So I hear there is mahd traffic on the Island. Am I surprised? No. Na usual Vals day traffic. One of the reasons I hate detest Vals day. Thank God I aint on the Island this year. Plus must it rain every Vals day? I don’t know about last year but in the last few years, it has rained every Vals day. *smh*

From helping a friend get Vals gifts to planning a bridal shower, I have had an extra busy week. Work in itself is usually hectic. I now added more work to it. It was fun sha. Btw, where can I get red fascinator in Lagos? Already planning my outfit for L’s wedding (which is a month away). I am that kind of an organiser. I tend to plan a lot of things way in advance. No aso -ebi (girl after my heart) but touch of red. Now I am planning nude gown, shoes and bag. I NEED A RED FASCINATOR. Don’t make me wear a red gown please. Red is strictly for accessories- nail polish, lip stick (oh la la) and all those tinz.

I am beginning to plan a wedding in my head (plus my speech). Introduced two friends recently and the guy buzzes me to tell me they are doing dinner tonight and was seriously praying she doesn’t relocate (her family is out of the country). I was just awwwing. I am just that much of a sucker for love. I am gonna restrain myself from buzzing the babe later tonight to ask how it went. Abi should I buzz? Yes/No… The urge to buzz is strong yo. I am seriously praying it goes well BECAUSE I am writing my “how they met” story already. Yes ke, na me introduce them.

In other news, I met SNM on Sunday. Naughty child he is. Offered me only water. iKid. Offered me drinks and food, I opted for water. Twas nice seeing you. Second blogger I get to meet. Where are the others o?

Happy Valentine’s day dear readers. Hope ya all had fun or are having fun today. If you val-ed someone or got val-ed, please remember some of us get sweet tooth. Send our cake, chocolate and all o. For #teamforeveralones, well sowie. Next year ehn.

Oh and my boss brings cake….. This woman knows how to put a smile on my face….

Happy belated birthday to Just Joxy. I am so sorry I missed the date. And happy birthday to my god-mum and my cousin IfeOluwa.

10 thoughts on “I begged God to die

  1. Who did you met? Where? When? How? Hmmmph 🙂

    Having been there and done that, I can say I am happy sunlight is finally touching your brain. Cos I was thinking of how I would come and issue you some smacks. In case you are wondering what I mean by been there…
    Constantly recurring malaria is a symptom of a guy who stopped giving a shit about taking care of his body. So doh…
    Trying to claim that you are the one that hooked a couple up is very annoying o, from the couples perspective.


    *Scans post again* keywords being Kiss/Breast/Bum
    Finds none
    *logs out*

    1. Hmmmmph….. See denial…. Annoyed I didn’t take pictures… Ish….

      Sunlight is touching the brain o… Lmao…. No smacking plix…

      Meanwhile, thanks for raining on my parade…. Hmmmph…. I haf noted it o… Would ditch my speech…

      Go and find breast somewhere else jo… You already got your kiss in the morning. Or was it yesterday? There are a lotta women ready for rumpus o… Go find dem..

  2. Hello Deronk!
    I must commend your dedication 100 posts?? Doffs Hat.
    Our Anniversaries are similar but I haven’t put in as much time as you have.
    Here’s a toast to many more fruitful years. Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!

    You my dear lady are in luck, I know just the place/person to get a Red FASCINATOR from.
    Check out http://www.bymide.com/ or By ‘Mide Facebook Page.
    If you tell her, you are my wordpress neighbour the chances of getting a discount are high.
    Hope this helps. Have a great day.


    1. Thanks… It was hard work o…

      Really? Gonna forever stalk your blog then…

      Amen and thanks again.

      Off to find my fascinator… Thanks so much. Appreciate it.

  3. Yeah you will def get attention with the caption. Sure you have been heart broken before. Its is usually very painful no matter how strong you might think you are. Words of comfort wont do. The only thing that heals is Time. I pray we never experience it(AGAIN).
    Val was good. I need mention the cake and wont leave out the fact that i had dinner with an old school friend that . Oh My. I have a crush.i cant believe it. Nothing more sha. Sshh. I haven’t met any blogger. Small blogger talking here. There should be a BB group where we have a small cacus of bloggers. Not a bad idea. Ciao.

    1. Surprisingly, this is my first time (and I hope last time)…

      Time yes…. Amen.

      DM my cake biko… Lol… Trust your dinner went well… Was gonna treat myself but seriously couldn’t face that VI traffic.

      Crush yeah? Gist please. Me I like gbeborun. Lmao. Sure you would meet bloggers soon. You can DM ur pin. Or I can send you mine…


  4. I understand what you mean oh.. I used to be the hard-hitting “how could you let him do that to you” chic until I saw ‘the light’ and it shone so brightly, I became very humble and understanding afterwards..
    It’s so important to be sensitive when people have just experienced a loss but unfortunately, that’s not a skill that many people have mastered!
    PS You met SNM?? I’m jealoux!

    1. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

      Somersaults and dances. She comments! She comments!! She comments!!! Lool. I am a major drama queen.

      First, thanks for dropping by. Secondly, thanks for commenting.

      Yes o. I have eaten the humble pie. I used to think I was strong. In fact when people go “you are strong, you would be fine”, I just smile. When my friend’s happened, I almost cried. It is peoples seemingly insensitive attitude that annoys me though (even though they mean well). Not like most of them make the comments on purpose (with the intent to hurt). God help us.

      E yah………. Don’t be. Like I said, he is a naughty child.

      Love your blog name (keeps resonating in my mind every time).

      Thanks dear.


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