Monthly Archives: March 2012

The Cancer Scourge

I lost a friend.

Yesterday I read an article written by a bereaved brother about his sister’s death and I couldn’t help but be very sad.Tossed a lot before I finally slept (I read it at night). First yes because anybody dying is a very sad event (though that is the end of us all). Secondly, this woman was barely married a year (she died before her first anniversary) and I WAS AT THE WEDDING. I had recently become an Usher in Church and if I remember clearly that was the first wedding I was an usher. Thirdly, she died of Ovarian Cancer. I think that was what hit me most. Here was a woman who if am correct was in her 30s, finally married and ready to live life as a married woman and less than a year had to deal with cancer. This year, it would be 9 years I first heard about ovarian cancer and 8 years since I lost a friend to ovarian cancer. We were both 16+ years when she died. A few days to her 17th birthday. When we knew she had cancer that fateful day in 2003, I did a search on it and all I could find were what I consider myths which I think people still believe till date. The myths that it happens to promiscuous women, old women or women who regularly have sex especially with multiple partners. Myth busted. Someone died at 17 and she was a virgin. Read a story too recently of another girl in the UK who died at 21 and her mum was campaigning that the age for yearly pap smears should be brought back to 20. She believed that if it was 20, it would have been detected early. Issue is because most people don’t do regular smears, it isn’t discovered until it has advanced. Another issue I discovered with cancer generally especially for us Christians is the I live in perfect health, no sickness can stay in my body, what I don’t know won’t kill me life.

Yes, we believe in divine healing but I don’t think that should stop us from regularly doing health checks. I couldn’t help but think about this woman and the fact that she lived here in the UK and could easily do a pap smear. I don’t know if she ever regular pap smears before it was discovered but what if she hadn’t. Could she have discovered this early and therefore still be alive?

Same with breast cancer. Granted ovarian cancer isn’t as popular as breast cancer. It is then baffling when I hear people say they have never had their breasts checked. These are educated people who could easily do it themselves, check in a hospital or if they want to, they can do a mammogram. Another myth, it happens to older women. Oh well, an ex-Nigerian International lost his wife in her mid 20s to breast cancer years back. I don’t think 20-30 is old. I get upset especially when people don’t wanna talk about this in churches. I remember when I had a lump removed the first time (I was 16), I was going to talk to some older teens in church about it and one of our teen teachers scolded me and asked me never to talk about it again; “You don’t discuss such issues in church”, she said.  I know the church is all about eternity and being good and spreading the good news, preaching salvation, and all but it is sad churches hardly talk about health issues or encourage their members to do regular checks.

I think have ranted enough. Just want to encourage people to do regular medical check ups. Could save your life in the long run.

Full time house-wife

This post is a result of an “argument” in class and on twitter. A friend tweeted “I’m a full time house wife” like WTH? At what age? Mschew. And I replied through another friend’s account asking what was wrong with that. The result is a very long attack and counter attack on the issue. I have argued on this case (from the against angle) a zillion times. Ok, I exaggerate. But many times.

Truth be told, months back I looked at such people with disdain and couldn’t believe especially for the educated ones why any woman would go to school and then end up staying at home. At least, start a business. But after hearing a married woman with a business talk and seeing an aunt upclose, I can’t fault them.

I have heard arguments for and against and am still not convinced that those who decide to stay at home are any less than those who do a 9-5 job or should be looked down on. Taking care of the house and children is equally as much work as those who dress up every morning and go to work. Part of what the woman said was she saw her children and children of friends who decided not to work and she could spot the difference in both set of children. This def wasn’t failure on her part but according to her the difference was very clear. Same with my aunt’s children. Asides that, if the husband is the “before the children wake up am out of the house and back after they sleep kind of person” and he decides to ask his wife to stay home, I can’t fault such people.

For those who use the “I went to school, my father paid so much” argument, what if the man pays back all your father spent on you with interest plus a “monthly salary” after all part of your reasons for working is to make money? For some people, their children is their priority and they would do anything to ensure they are close to their family and are around for them everytime. Doesn’t make them less than those who decide to “work”. We just somehow in our minds classify somethings as work and some others are not work.

An idle mind argument too for me doesn’t hold water. I worked in a place for 3 years and I can say that for almost a year before I left, I practically didn’t do anything. In people’s minds I was “working” but I wasn’t. I was idle on all sides. God knows how many times I compared myself to those who stayed at home and how many times I considered just leaving the job and not doing anything. Took a while and God’s grace for me to snap out of it. And that’s from a very restless person. I ask what’s the difference between me then and say if I was married and I wasn’t “working” (work as people define it). Because I wore suit and left the house everyday, I wasn’t idle ba? Or the person who has a shop in Tejousho but spends the whole day gossiping? She is “working” because she has a business ba? What do we define as idle?

That said, I don’t think I can do it BUT I def don’t consider those who decide to stay at home and not do any form of business any less than I am. She stays at home, spends her time reading, writing books, doing what she loves is better than “going to work” and doing what she hates. Or working and the home is upside down. They have their reasons for doing that and they shouldn’t be condemned. Even if the person has a Masters degree and is 24 years or she is 40 years. Every family has their own percularities. Yes, I can argue about the financial consequences (especially) BUT everybody has a right to make whatever choice they decide to make.

Still waiting for an argument against stay-home mums that can make me change my mind because truth be told, a lot of us looking and talking about this aint even married. So we don’t even know what it is like when people decide to become full-time house wives. I know some people have just made up their minds from the very beginning never to work. Yeah, there are some like that since they were teens who have decided working isn’t for me. I want to stay at home. Some out of laziness. Some it could be cause of their experiences or upbringing. For whatever reason they decide. It is their choice.

Naija music

Well I aint got anything major to blog about. So I decided to talk about 9ja music.

I am really backward when it comes to Nigerian music. Don’t blame me, with the kinda crap most people (both local and foreign) I just switched off. I love me Tina Turner through to the TLC, Envogue, Destiny’s Child days jo. So most times I only get to hear about a song if I go for a friend’s party or on radio (and hearing songs on radio since I got here has reduced to zero anyways). So am left with the once in a while birthday parties I attend. And trust me, most of the songs I hear I just bone. Yes, “dance-hall” songs, loved by those who can dance and party and all, with little or no meanings. And you then wonder what the world has become. Lol. Am sounding serious right?

Anywayz, some songs that caught my attention recently include Azonto (I don’t know if that’s the title of the song, I know it is a dance sha; it is by one fuse guy), Ara by Brymo (apparently he is under them MI’s label; like the song but think the video is just there, so much of Olorioko’s concept), Chop my money (not sure about the morals of the song but I kinda like the video with Akon) and Flavour’s Oyi (it was the line of jollof rice that jumped at me *smh* and made me look for the song) and MI’s Action Film (I think the video did it for me). I still don’t get why people hype Wizkid (I hope that’s the spelling), D’banj (seriously after Mobolowowan; not sure I got the spelling right either, he hasn’t impressed me; oh well like he says I guess he is just being an entertainer and entertaining his way into millions right?) and Davido. Seriously I don’t get the hype but that’s me sha. 2 Face I used to like. Eldee and Banky W, I really don’t listen to. Didn’t help that Banky W came out singing his version of Umbrella, which I never liked. That kinda put me off him from the start and I always thought he was gay *covering my eyes*. I know he isn’t. I am homophobic. I hear Eldee does good songs sha. Never really bothered listening.

The whole point of this post was to say kudos to the Ibo musicians actually. I think have over-digressed sef. Anywayz, back to Flavour’s songs. Heard the my jollof rice song, sorry Oyi song (it is jollof rice song jo) and I just thought about how hard it would have been for him and other Ibo artistes to break into the music market. Some years back every Nigerian artiste wanted to sing in English, sing like R Kelly or rap like Eminem or Jay Z. And suddenly, we start singing in our language. A huge step and a step in the right direction. The Yoruba guys went far ahead and made so much and I can imagine it must have been a little hard for the Ibo guys to come in. I dunno. I am just thinking. I think the first Ibo artiste (he actually isn’t Ibo and am not sure he has even sang a song in his language like that) was Iyanya (he is either Calabar or Awka-Ibom I think). The first real song in Ibo I liked (well a mix between English and Igbo) was Obi mu by Obiwon. And I LOVE THAT SONG. Shoot me. It must be played when I get married. If I can get him to sing it sef I don’t mind o… *winks*. Plus ya all need to listen to the remix with Blaise and MI and some other guy. Great song.

Anywayz, that song made me very conscious of how good and lovely Igbo was. I do have Ibo friends but well speaking in Igbo and singing in Igbo are two different things. Singing in Igbo is on another level please. Much respect. Anywayz, now am hooked on Ibo songs and am looking for more lovely Ibo songs. Found some of Flavour’s songs but the videos and some lyrics aint doing it for me. Still like the Oyi song but am looking for more songs in the Obi mu mold. Please good people, send me links, and interpretations biko.

What was the aim of this post sef? Think I have lost plot. Time to sleep. Ndo if I confused anybody with this post. I am already dosing.

Btw, tis March. Yay me… Now I need the month to be as slow as it can be. Well from mid month sha.

Cheers people and have a great month. Hope this won’t be my only post this month. Working on improving my one post a month since the beginning of the year ish.