Errrrr….. No title jo

Ok, *blows dust*. Hehehe. *looks around* No dust. Guess I haven’t been gone long.

Oh well. First things first. Single Nigerian Man tagged me in a post a couple of weeks back (11 things)… or maybe a week back sef… So, time to answer his questions.

1. Who started this thing biko? I got no idea…
2. What drives/motivates/pushes you in life? Quite a lot of things. Depends on different areas. The fact that I wanna be better than my parents and my egbons. The fact that I wanna be wealthy. Oh yes, I want to have money. I see a lot of hardship and poverty around, I wanna do something and I believe I can do something with my time and money. The fact that am scared of messing up, though I have messed up at different times and I know I would still mess up. The fact that I know I can be a better person. Me thinks they are all related.
3. If you could pick one place on earth to be at the moment you answer this question, who/where will it be? Monaco
4. What is your favourite blog, top blog online (Don’t lie, God is watching you)? Wow, can I have favourites? Ok me am doing favourites. In no particular order, JustJoxy, Myne Whitman, The Wordsmythe, Anglesbeauty, Adara’s and SNM. 
5. If God were to close his eyes for 10 hours and grant you a hall pass, what would you do with it? Omo, firstly some people won’t live past the 10 hours. Their lives end before the 10 hours is up. Secondly, there are others I can’t type here. Thirdly, I would change as many lives as I can.
6. What makes you happy? (If you tell me God, I will swear for you. I said what, not who)? What? Okay let’s see…. Love.
7. Do you have a daughter? If yes, how old? No.
8. Would you let your daughter marry my son? Ha! That’s for YB to decide… Loools. Really, not my choice. If they meet and decide to marry, I no fit stop them.
9. What is the one thing you wish for more than anything else? *still thinking*
10. At a scale of Hulk to worker ant, what do you do when you are angry? I dunno o… Can be really angry though I tend to calm down quite fast. Not physical either…. Decide where I fit on the scale.
11. What is your favourite animal? I don’t like animals.

Whew. Took like forever to answer the questions.

Happy new month. This year is moving so fast am “struggling” to catch up… June already???????????????????????????????????????????????

That done. Finished exams on Tuesday and for now as so very bored. Nothing doing…. Week has just been one kind. Got these drops in my eyes on Wednesday which like completely blinded me… As in everything was blurred. Couldn’t see nada…. And def couldn’t use my laptop or phone or anything. And anybody that knows me and my laptop…… It was so freaking frustrating…. To conclude the whole eye ish, I have four eyes now. I am so *******. Like seriously…. I so detest glasses….. Trying to get used to using them… After how much I paid, I just have to love them.

Arghhhhhhhh. Am so out.

On becoming a woman; the strength of a woman

About to sleep and I couldn’t help but think about how blessed I am to be surrounded by four beautiful women who I have learnt about life and womanhood from their actions, words, scolding, bravery, through their sorrows, tears, joy, hospitality, sacrifice and love. I guess am blessed to have people to learn from all around me.

I guess the thoughts came because it is one of them’s birthday in less than an hour.

Am talking about no other than my grandma aka Maami, my grandma’s sister, my mum and her sister.

From Maami, I have learnt amongst many things, sacrifice and the joy of sacrificing. Love like no other.

From my grandma’s sister, joy through pain, strength through sorrow and the happiness that comes after. Frankness.

From my aunty, openness and candour, boldness, frankness, seeing everybody as her own, never hesitating to correct, always ready to help. Through our fights (oh yes we fight a lot), ever ready to pull my ears till I listen.

And from my twin, my mum, the love of a mother and a sister, a woman who is every ready to stand by her family, who made me understand the importance of prayers. Always on her knees praying for her family both immediate and extended. Ready to talk some sense into me when I need to hear such and always there to calm my fears.

From all of them, the importance of the vows you take on your wedding day. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. And standing by their husbands through it all. Even till death came for my grandpa and my great uncle. Selfless love and prayers. Hope against all hope. Standing firm and unshaken all the way not of their own strength but by God. And teaching that with God by your side, everything is possible. The importance of hard work, no time for laziness.

It hasn’t been a bed of roses. It has not been easy. It has not been fun times all through. But through tears, through pain, in happiness, in health, down times and up times, they keep standing.

I thank God for your lives and am forever grateful for you all. You have all set standards in more ways than I can imagine and I hope I won’t let you down.

Happy birthday to the world’s bestest aunty. Love you so much.

Thanks for showing me what it means to be a woman.

And I said………

Date: 17^th March, 2012

Time: 6.10 pm

Location: MMIA, Lagos

I am at the airport and I get a call from YB asking how far. In my “annoyed” and frustrated and irritated state, I tried to as calmly as I can tell him what was going on. I had arrived 5.05pm and more than an hour after, my luggage wasn’t out. After endless waiting because the belts were not working (we all had to hustle to get our luggage), I discovered my luggage didn’t arrive. I was in tears. I had just shoes and my nightie as hand luggage. So when his call came in (and that was like the 3^rd time he was going to call), am just like “I am trying to find out the procedure to register missing luggage) and he goes “call me when you leave the airport, I have a surprise for you”. Ok na.

Time: 6.50 pm

Location: Lekki Toll Gate

I call him to say I was approaching Lekki and would be home in 15 minutes and he goes ok. I had completely forgotten about the surprise.

I get home some 15-20 minutes after and have barely settled down when he calls that he is at the gate. So I go meet him at the door. I walk towards his car, and we are heading back into the house when it clicked in my brain that I saw flowers. So I go back towards the car and truly see flowers and cake. Alrighty. I later discovered I messed up his plans by “seeing what was in the car”. He is then “forced” to change plans and had to bring the cake and flowers into the house (his plan was I leads me outside and he does all the talking and all). Oh well, I spoilt that plan. He had to re-park his car so he gives me strict instructions not to open the cake. Oh well, no bi cake. When you get back, I shall do what I know best to do with chocolate cakes, I think to myself.

To cut the short story even shorter, he comes back in, we are talking and I ask if I could open the cake now and he goes, yes. So I open the cake and see the words “will you marry me”. Ok all the while he was smiling sheepishly. And I remember asking him why the smiles. But I guess I was too tired to even bug him. I start smiling (can you blame me?) and thinking “you should say something”. I then move the cake a little thinking “oh well when you are ready to talk you would say something”. And he is still smiling so I blurt out asking “won’t you say something”. His reply? “Look at the cake properly”. Lo and behold, between the petals (is that the right word? Anyway, there were flowers on the cake and in between the flowers) was the ring. Well, I couldn’t even scream or shout or jump (I didn’t sleep the day before, had been on the plane since 6.45am, landed past 5 and didn’t get home till about 7pm). I was just smiling. Now it was my turn to smile sheepishly. So I pick out the ring, hand it over to him, he gets on one knee and asks me to marry him.

Ya all know my reply…. And then I remembered the surprise, the chat with a friend couple of weeks before then talking about a surprise and his post.

 

*Lips Sealed*

The story shall come out another day.

 

The Cancer Scourge

I lost a friend.

Yesterday I read an article written by a bereaved brother about his sister’s death and I couldn’t help but be very sad.Tossed a lot before I finally slept (I read it at night). First yes because anybody dying is a very sad event (though that is the end of us all). Secondly, this woman was barely married a year (she died before her first anniversary) and I WAS AT THE WEDDING. I had recently become an Usher in Church and if I remember clearly that was the first wedding I was an usher. Thirdly, she died of Ovarian Cancer. I think that was what hit me most. Here was a woman who if am correct was in her 30s, finally married and ready to live life as a married woman and less than a year had to deal with cancer. This year, it would be 9 years I first heard about ovarian cancer and 8 years since I lost a friend to ovarian cancer. We were both 16+ years when she died. A few days to her 17th birthday. When we knew she had cancer that fateful day in 2003, I did a search on it and all I could find were what I consider myths which I think people still believe till date. The myths that it happens to promiscuous women, old women or women who regularly have sex especially with multiple partners. Myth busted. Someone died at 17 and she was a virgin. Read a story too recently of another girl in the UK who died at 21 and her mum was campaigning that the age for yearly pap smears should be brought back to 20. She believed that if it was 20, it would have been detected early. Issue is because most people don’t do regular smears, it isn’t discovered until it has advanced. Another issue I discovered with cancer generally especially for us Christians is the I live in perfect health, no sickness can stay in my body, what I don’t know won’t kill me life.

Yes, we believe in divine healing but I don’t think that should stop us from regularly doing health checks. I couldn’t help but think about this woman and the fact that she lived here in the UK and could easily do a pap smear. I don’t know if she ever regular pap smears before it was discovered but what if she hadn’t. Could she have discovered this early and therefore still be alive?

Same with breast cancer. Granted ovarian cancer isn’t as popular as breast cancer. It is then baffling when I hear people say they have never had their breasts checked. These are educated people who could easily do it themselves, check in a hospital or if they want to, they can do a mammogram. Another myth, it happens to older women. Oh well, an ex-Nigerian International lost his wife in her mid 20s to breast cancer years back. I don’t think 20-30 is old. I get upset especially when people don’t wanna talk about this in churches. I remember when I had a lump removed the first time (I was 16), I was going to talk to some older teens in church about it and one of our teen teachers scolded me and asked me never to talk about it again; “You don’t discuss such issues in church”, she said.  I know the church is all about eternity and being good and spreading the good news, preaching salvation, and all but it is sad churches hardly talk about health issues or encourage their members to do regular checks.

I think have ranted enough. Just want to encourage people to do regular medical check ups. Could save your life in the long run.

Full time house-wife

This post is a result of an “argument” in class and on twitter. A friend tweeted “I’m a full time house wife” like WTH? At what age? Mschew. And I replied through another friend’s account asking what was wrong with that. The result is a very long attack and counter attack on the issue. I have argued on this case (from the against angle) a zillion times. Ok, I exaggerate. But many times.

Truth be told, months back I looked at such people with disdain and couldn’t believe especially for the educated ones why any woman would go to school and then end up staying at home. At least, start a business. But after hearing a married woman with a business talk and seeing an aunt upclose, I can’t fault them.

I have heard arguments for and against and am still not convinced that those who decide to stay at home are any less than those who do a 9-5 job or should be looked down on. Taking care of the house and children is equally as much work as those who dress up every morning and go to work. Part of what the woman said was she saw her children and children of friends who decided not to work and she could spot the difference in both set of children. This def wasn’t failure on her part but according to her the difference was very clear. Same with my aunt’s children. Asides that, if the husband is the “before the children wake up am out of the house and back after they sleep kind of person” and he decides to ask his wife to stay home, I can’t fault such people.

For those who use the “I went to school, my father paid so much” argument, what if the man pays back all your father spent on you with interest plus a “monthly salary” after all part of your reasons for working is to make money? For some people, their children is their priority and they would do anything to ensure they are close to their family and are around for them everytime. Doesn’t make them less than those who decide to “work”. We just somehow in our minds classify somethings as work and some others are not work.

An idle mind argument too for me doesn’t hold water. I worked in a place for 3 years and I can say that for almost a year before I left, I practically didn’t do anything. In people’s minds I was “working” but I wasn’t. I was idle on all sides. God knows how many times I compared myself to those who stayed at home and how many times I considered just leaving the job and not doing anything. Took a while and God’s grace for me to snap out of it. And that’s from a very restless person. I ask what’s the difference between me then and say if I was married and I wasn’t “working” (work as people define it). Because I wore suit and left the house everyday, I wasn’t idle ba? Or the person who has a shop in Tejousho but spends the whole day gossiping? She is “working” because she has a business ba? What do we define as idle?

That said, I don’t think I can do it BUT I def don’t consider those who decide to stay at home and not do any form of business any less than I am. She stays at home, spends her time reading, writing books, doing what she loves is better than “going to work” and doing what she hates. Or working and the home is upside down. They have their reasons for doing that and they shouldn’t be condemned. Even if the person has a Masters degree and is 24 years or she is 40 years. Every family has their own percularities. Yes, I can argue about the financial consequences (especially) BUT everybody has a right to make whatever choice they decide to make.

Still waiting for an argument against stay-home mums that can make me change my mind because truth be told, a lot of us looking and talking about this aint even married. So we don’t even know what it is like when people decide to become full-time house wives. I know some people have just made up their minds from the very beginning never to work. Yeah, there are some like that since they were teens who have decided working isn’t for me. I want to stay at home. Some out of laziness. Some it could be cause of their experiences or upbringing. For whatever reason they decide. It is their choice.

Naija music

Well I aint got anything major to blog about. So I decided to talk about 9ja music.

I am really backward when it comes to Nigerian music. Don’t blame me, with the kinda crap most people (both local and foreign) I just switched off. I love me Tina Turner through to the TLC, Envogue, Destiny’s Child days jo. So most times I only get to hear about a song if I go for a friend’s party or on radio (and hearing songs on radio since I got here has reduced to zero anyways). So am left with the once in a while birthday parties I attend. And trust me, most of the songs I hear I just bone. Yes, “dance-hall” songs, loved by those who can dance and party and all, with little or no meanings. And you then wonder what the world has become. Lol. Am sounding serious right?

Anywayz, some songs that caught my attention recently include Azonto (I don’t know if that’s the title of the song, I know it is a dance sha; it is by one fuse guy), Ara by Brymo (apparently he is under them MI’s label; like the song but think the video is just there, so much of Olorioko’s concept), Chop my money (not sure about the morals of the song but I kinda like the video with Akon) and Flavour’s Oyi (it was the line of jollof rice that jumped at me *smh* and made me look for the song) and MI’s Action Film (I think the video did it for me). I still don’t get why people hype Wizkid (I hope that’s the spelling), D’banj (seriously after Mobolowowan; not sure I got the spelling right either, he hasn’t impressed me; oh well like he says I guess he is just being an entertainer and entertaining his way into millions right?) and Davido. Seriously I don’t get the hype but that’s me sha. 2 Face I used to like. Eldee and Banky W, I really don’t listen to. Didn’t help that Banky W came out singing his version of Umbrella, which I never liked. That kinda put me off him from the start and I always thought he was gay *covering my eyes*. I know he isn’t. I am homophobic. I hear Eldee does good songs sha. Never really bothered listening.

The whole point of this post was to say kudos to the Ibo musicians actually. I think have over-digressed sef. Anywayz, back to Flavour’s songs. Heard the my jollof rice song, sorry Oyi song (it is jollof rice song jo) and I just thought about how hard it would have been for him and other Ibo artistes to break into the music market. Some years back every Nigerian artiste wanted to sing in English, sing like R Kelly or rap like Eminem or Jay Z. And suddenly, we start singing in our language. A huge step and a step in the right direction. The Yoruba guys went far ahead and made so much and I can imagine it must have been a little hard for the Ibo guys to come in. I dunno. I am just thinking. I think the first Ibo artiste (he actually isn’t Ibo and am not sure he has even sang a song in his language like that) was Iyanya (he is either Calabar or Awka-Ibom I think). The first real song in Ibo I liked (well a mix between English and Igbo) was Obi mu by Obiwon. And I LOVE THAT SONG. Shoot me. It must be played when I get married. If I can get him to sing it sef I don’t mind o… *winks*. Plus ya all need to listen to the remix with Blaise and MI and some other guy. Great song.

Anywayz, that song made me very conscious of how good and lovely Igbo was. I do have Ibo friends but well speaking in Igbo and singing in Igbo are two different things. Singing in Igbo is on another level please. Much respect. Anywayz, now am hooked on Ibo songs and am looking for more lovely Ibo songs. Found some of Flavour’s songs but the videos and some lyrics aint doing it for me. Still like the Oyi song but am looking for more songs in the Obi mu mold. Please good people, send me links, and interpretations biko.

What was the aim of this post sef? Think I have lost plot. Time to sleep. Ndo if I confused anybody with this post. I am already dosing.

Btw, tis March. Yay me… Now I need the month to be as slow as it can be. Well from mid month sha.

Cheers people and have a great month. Hope this won’t be my only post this month. Working on improving my one post a month since the beginning of the year ish.

 

Tada.

When death comes calling

The numbness.

The shock.

The sadness.

The tears.

Unbelief.

The questions.

The sleepless nights.

The thoughts that run through your head.

The family of the departed.

How do they feel?

The stillness.

Everything freezing in time.

The longing for the past.

Times spent with the departed.

The memories.

The sorrow.

Things you wish you could change.

Things you wish you didn’t do.

Things you wish you did.

Things you wish you didn’t say.

Things you wish you said.

The emptiness.

Death is the end of us all. Either death or rapture. Somehow, some day, we all depart this world.

Where we gonna end up? What would be said about us? How have we lived our lives?

Live your life like you would die the next second. Always prepared to leave this world. You never can tell when it would happen.

RIP aunty Bolaji.

Is Nigeria’s (and maybe the world) future in the hands of women?

Two articles I felt I should share; as I really don’t have anything to write about at the moment.

Excerpts from the first

“The first lady has convened a retreat on Women Development, Peace and National Transformation. The retreat currently ongoing is   themed: “Galvanizing, empowering, and energizing women as change agents for national transformation, peace and development: A win- win option”. The proceedings and programme of the retreat are yet to be released but first ladies and female lawmakers are in attendance.  Speakers at the conference include Leymah Gbowee, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and Oby Ezekwesili.”

And the second

“Many commentators on the First Lady debate raised the issue of the ‘illegality’ of the position, since it does not exist in the Constitution. The fact that it is not written in the constitution does not make the office ‘illegal’. There is nowhere in the constitution where it is written that there shall be an Office of the Chief of Staff, for example. However, it is hard to see how a President or Governor can operate without appointing someone into that position, even if the designation is called something else. One of the problems with the Office of the First Lady is that over the years, we have allowed our experiences with power-hungry, unscrupulous women listening to poor advice to cloud our judgement”.
Food for thought.

 

Tada

 

Am back

Wow…. Been a while have been here. Thanks to essays and exams but NOW, am back.

Na so January just come and in less than 7 days would be over. Freaking fast month. Oh well, all the better for me. February can like to hurry too till March. Then March- April should take chill pills. Like pause. Lol.

Glad to be back though. So many things happened while I was away. Like I said, exams and essays to write took a lot of my time, I only managed to post on 1st. Hope I wasn’t missed much.

January 10 marked a year I had this scary surgery (scary cause it went well but the entire week after, I practically wasn’t myself, I was in so much pain). I just thank God for the gift of life. This year also, I was pretty down for some time before exams. When you just feel so sick you don’t know exactly what is wrong. And the devil tried. All sorts of scary thoughts. Spent part of the day before my first paper in the hospital cause I just couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head till I found out exactly what the problem was. I sat down there waiting each time to be called in for a test (blood test, ECG, x-rays) all the while scared they might find something wrong with me. After all sorts of tests and all, it all came out clear. I was just worrying and giving the devil a chance to scare me. So I decided to walk in freedom over every sickness and thoughts the devil might bring my way because I have been set free and the price paid. Every thought brought under subjection because I have not been given the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. FREEDOM!!!!!!! Set free, loved and powerful (thanks Richard, Dave and Mark for the sermons in the past 3 weeks; word in due season).

Woke up this morning and after my devotion, something struck me. As females we have been called to be wives first and then mothers. I dunno (oh well, thanks to the new bbm smiley, I used to go idk) how that works as I am not married but I pray God would give us the grace to be able to balance our responsibilities first as wives and then as mothers (as the children would all leave the house one day and we are left alone with our husbands). God help us.

I was going to blog about the all fuel subsidy ish in Nigeria but decided against it. However, my elder sister did start one which I would like to share. Really deep things (and am not saying that cause she is my sister). Lol.

I know a lot of things has been going on behind me here, but not to worry, I would soon have your time. Thankful also, it hasn’t snowed (not talking sleet) and the temperatures haven’t gone bunkers. When I see -30 degrees in the States, one thought would just fly through my head; Ile ya (Time to go home). Can’t just imagine staying in that kinda place. Well, God knew I would be here this year, so He decided to give a warm winter. My God loves me.

Thanking God for a great month so far and praying the rest of the year gets even better and better.

Still got a paper tomorrow so please pray for me. Can’t wait for tomorrow night.

Till next time (hopefully soon), tis tada.

Cheers

NB: Ara n be ti mo fe da… lol… heard a song a while back and that part struck me.